No, it’s not okay that your friend called you ugly. Are we still living in the mean-girl era? Even if you are not that pretty your friend out of all people should not be the one to point that out to you. So what can you do? What should you say when your friend calls you ugly?
Don’t stress yourself just yet, have a look at the story from one of our readers, the reasons, solutions, and comebacks that you can try when your frenemy calls you ugly.
My friend calls me ugly as a joke
“Dear Sindi, something has been bothering me, whenever I go out with my friend she makes side comments sometimes she laughs but her comments are starting to get to me. Last week Saturday we went out for lunch and she made a comment saying that I was ugly, then she changed the subject”. – Mel- NYC
6 Reasons why your friend called you ugly
She is jealous of you
There is this belief that If someone calls you ugly they are jealous, and it’s true. Think about it, why would someone who claims to be your best friend call you ugly? It would be different if your friend told you that she is jealous of you, then you would be able to at least cut her some slack. But it’s not the case here, your friend is jealous and her mean girl energy is coming out.
She has always been the pretty friend
If you have ever had a friend who was always being hit on you would know that It’s all about her and no one else, aaargh, it can be annoying being friends with someone who society sees as very beautiful. If your friend is always the prettier one then it should come as no surprise to you that she made that comment, so moving along.
You always tease each other
This is why I do not like to tease my friends it never ends well, when the foundation of the friendship is based on insults at some point one of you is bound to get your feelings hurt but If you have dished insults to your friend then girl you need to be able to take them. This could be one of those cases where your friend is getting back at you for something that you said.
She didn’t mean it in a rude way
In some cultures calling someone ugly is not a bad thing, in the African culture for example women are known to be very blunt and honest, and even if you are not ugly they will call you ugly for various reasons. Being ugly as a man in some cultures is seen as a status symbol the same goes for women. In some countries when a woman has a beard she is seen as being very desirable. If we compare that to the United States, if you were to walk around with a beard you would get nasty comments.
You’ve let yourself go
I am trying to be diplomatic here, but it can be hard to face the truth, sometimes when our friends are honest it can hurt our feelings. I am not on your friend’s side but are you taking care of your general appearance, maybe your hair is always messy or you never make an effort with your make-up. This is not to say that you should wear makeup if it’s not your thing but try and look at this from all angles. It’s easy to be offended when we get insulted, but if you are not happy with the way that you look then use it as a wake-up call.
She has unresolved emotional issues
Well, hurt people hurt other people, read that again, people who are hurt tend to hurt other people. Sure you might be close to your friend but you don’t know what internal struggles she may be going through. Issues such as bitterness, resentment, failure in school, failure at work, and getting heartbroken are all enough for your friend to direct her anger at you. She might not mean to say that you are ugly but because she has unresolved emotional issues her hurt is coming out as anger.
7 Things that you can do when your friend calls you ugly
Understand what beauty is
Have you ever dated a guy you thought was very handsome, and you introduced him to your friends and they said, “Nah girl he is ugly”, LOL. well, that alone should tell you that beauty is subjective, just because your friend said that you are ugly, doesn’t mean that other people will think that you are.
Understand the friendship code
Along with never sleeping with each other’s partners the number one rule of the friendship code is “thy shall not make each other feel unworthy”, meaning your friend should never make you feel less than. If this is how your friend has always been or you are someone who is always being made fun of, you must know it’s not okay.
Take a break from hanging out
Yes, I wouldn’t want to be around your friend if she was my friend, the friendship would be different. Don’t end the friendship per se, but take a break from hanging out. If you were always together, then oh well, use this time to think about what you want in a friend, you can manifest any type of friend that you want, instead of focusing on the one who makes you feel bad.
The benefits of taking a friendship break
If you find yourself happy when she is gone you need to ask yourself if this is a friend you want to keep. When she calls you ugly how does it make you feel, and if she were to call you ugly again would you put up with it? Dont, be afraid of kicking the friendship to the curb, not immediately but eventually.
Back yourself up
To back yourself up is to stand your ground if it makes you feel bad when she calls you ugly, well, look her straight in the face, use a low tone of voice, and tell her “ I don’t like it when you call me ugly, can you please stop”. And if she finds it funny you can say to her “ I am not sure why you find this funny, but I don’t like it and I take offense to you laughing”. At this point, she will try and make it seem like you are making a big deal about nothing so you tell her “It’s not funny or okay for you to try and make it seem like I am making a big deal, I am not exaggerating and if you can’t grow up, then I think we need to cut this meeting short”.
Get her where it hurts
Find her weak points something that she is insecure about and tell her about it, she might be the pretty friend but she has her weaknesses. Maybe she is not clever, so why not say something that will mock her lack of intelligence, I trust you, girl, you can think of something.
Don’t be desperate for friendship
Sure we are technically living in what we can call a loneliness pandemic and making genuine friends is like literally winning the lottery, but No, your friend is not doing you a favor by being your friend, you don’t have to be so desperate for friendship that you take any and every treatment that comes your way.
Focus on the bigger picture
We live in an age where you can be anything that you want to be. You can also reinvent yourself at any time, it doesn’t matter how old you are, I mean that alone is great. So focus on the bigger picture, maybe work your how you look, save money and go to the dentist or dermatologist, and do things that will improve your appearance but do these things for you, not your friend. Your education, job, and career prospects should be front and center, the direction of your life is what you can control, not your so-called friend calling you ugly.
What to do if your friend calls you ugly
You must stand up for yourself, be polite but firm, you must address the fact that your friend called you ugly, and let them know you are not okay with it and they should never say it again.
11 Things you can say ( comebacks) when your friend calls you ugly
- “I didn’t know that you were the beauty police”
- “That’s funny because I was just about to say the same thing for you”
- “That’s strange because your mom called me stunning”
- “ Have you looked in the mirror”
- “ I didn’t ask for your unsolicited opinion”
- “ At least I am intelligent, you are ugly and dumb”
- “ Are you okay? Because we all know that hurt people hurt people, people”
- “ Just because you were called ugly doesn’t mean that you should go around telling others that”
- “ I am not that ugly because your boyfriend was staring at me”
- “ You need to get your eyes checked”
- “ Okay, so I am ugly, but what’s your point?”
Should I be friends with someone who calls me ugly?
No, you should never maintain a friendship with someone who calls you ugly. It’s the highest form of disrespect and the more you let your friend call you ugly, the more they will disrespect you. Friendship is about, trust, honesty, and respect, there can’t be a friendship without mutual respect
To wrap it up
Friendship is such a fun relationship, where you are supposed to be surrounded by people who love and care for you even if you do not look like Miss Universe, even if your looks are not great, your friend is mean, and if she doesn’t it again you need to say to her “ girl bye” and mean it.