We all have that one friend who is obsessed with the way that she looks, she is the type to talk about how many men want her, sounds annoying right? Don’t worry, I will give you some tips on how to deal with it, and maybe discover why she is the way that she is.
Let’s look at why your friend brags about being hit on…..
Why does my friend always brag about being hit on?
Your friend brags about being hit on because she is seeking validation, she wants assurance that she is beautiful. Bragging about the number of men that are after you is also linked with insecurity and seeking the approval of others, if she brags a lot she might be insecure.
She doesn’t know that it is wrong
When people don’t know what they are doing is wrong they will continue to do it. Your friend has probably never been told to stop bragging about her dates. She may not be aware that this is wrong. The older we get the better we become at identifying what is wrong or right, depending on her age she might not be aware.
She is insecure
Insecurity is a dangerous trait to have, and we have all been insecure at some point in our lives. Say no one is actually paying her compliments on the way that she looks, this can make her insecure. Every woman wants to be told she is beautiful every once in a while. Pay attention to how she talks about herself in comparison to other people, if she constantly put herself down, she may be insecure.
She cares about what you think
She is seeking validation from you. Your opinion on how she looks, who she is, or the number of boyfriends she has had is important to her. She may want you to acknowledge or recognize her in some way. Remember that most people seek attention from people whose opinions they value, this could be the case.
She likes to exaggerate
We live in a world where bigger is seen as better, and everyone wants to have the best stories. She could be caught up in her own little world. Having males give her attention gives her a huge ego boost. If she tells you that twenty men asked her out in one day, that is a sure sign that your friend likes to exaggerate stories and make them bigger than they seem.
She can’t see that it is annoying
This depends on the type of people that both of you hang around with. Watch the reaction of others when she starts to brag. If the people around you are giving her praise and worship every time she brags, she won’t see how annoying it is.
She has identity issues
Issues of identity often happen when we are younger, women in their early 20s and younger are more prone to identify issues. This is because they are still trying to figure out who they are. As we get older, we tend to find ourselves. Most women who know who they are and have figured out their place in the world don’t obsess about their looks or how many men asked them out in one week.
She is influenced by social media
One of the most toxic traits of social media is that it creates a culture of comparison coupled with unrealistic beauty standards. With the world, constantly online women have the added pressure of being the most attractive and having the greatest or flashiest boyfriends. We are constantly bombarded with perfectly photoshopped images of gorgeous women. If your friend constantly spends a lot of time on social media, and if she wants you to give her compliments such as “ you look like Kim Kardashian” this is a sign that she needs to take a social media break. Social media is only good in small doses.
She is in a secret competition with you
Humans in general are very strange creatures and you can never know what people are thinking. If you have always been the friend with the successful boyfriend, the prettier friend, the academically gifted friend, or just an overall achiever then it would be no surprise that your friend feels that she needs to be in competition with you. She may genuinely be a good person, on the outside she is your number one supporter but on the inside, she wishes that she can one-up you.
There are times when our friends can go overboard, and these are the times that we need to call them to order…here is how to deal with the situation.
9 ways to deal with a friend who brags
Change the subject
One way to let your friend know that you don’t care about what she is talking about is to change the subject. Hopefully, she will get the hint that yes, she is pretty, but this is not a subject that has to constantly be talked about. I mean, you can only tell your friend that she looks good so many times before the topic dries out.
Tell her to stop
Telling your friend to stop can be hard mainly because you don’t want to come off as a jealous or rude friend. However, if it gets to the point that you really can’t take it, then sit her down and tell her to stop. You don’t have to make a big deal about it, tell her when both of you’re relaxed, maybe over a cup of coffee. You can also try to slip it into the conversation when you are both laughing, that way she won’t see it as a personal attack.
Brag about yourself
If push comes to shove then by all means go ahead and brag about yourself. This can be comical. If she says something like ‘ ten guys told me that I am pretty today’ then you can counterattack with an even bigger number like” just ten? I was told that I am pretty by 29 guys’. This is why I say this can be comical, hopefully, it won’t get to this level.
Compare her with someone prettier
Try not to come off as being aggressive, but comparing them to someone who is prettier than they are can help keep your friend quiet. If there is someone who you know is really pretty, when your friend starts to brag, mention the other person’s name or looks, Let’s hope it works.
Honestly, keep quiet. If she does not get the message that she must stop bragging when you keep quiet then she really needs a reality check. If you tell someone something and they keep quiet that is a sure indication that the other person is not impressed or interested in what you are saying. Try to keep a poker face, don’t react, and don’t laugh or smile.
Try playing with your phone, pretend to scribble something down or if you are at a restaurant just stare at the menu.. Look around your surroundings, or play with the TV remote.
Tell a mutual friend
Sometimes we need the intervention of other people. Tell a mutual friend, who knows, your mutual friend might have also noticed the same problem. This is good because it means that you are not imagining things or acting out of character. If your mutual friend has also noticed the same pattern of behavior, then the two of you should talk to her.
Give her a compliment and get it over and done with
Sometimes in order to move on to the next thing or subject you need to tell your friend what she wants to hear. If her bragging is harmless and honestly is just an irritation, and she is a great person when not obsessed with her looks, then give her the compliment that she wants, get it over and done with, and enjoy spending time together.
Don’t pay her any attention
If you don’t pay your friend attention it might look weird if it is just the two of you. But if you are around other people then concentrate on what is happening around you. Talk to your other friends.