We have all heard the saying a jealous friend is a dangerous enemy, and we can all agree that this is true. Jealousy in friendships is more common than you think, it’s human nature to what to achieve success and have all our friends look at us.
If you have a friend who has told you that she is jealous of you, I think you should look at some of the tips that we have below, our advice on how to navigate a jealous friend.
What to do when a friend is jealous of you?
You must talk to your friend and find out why they are jealous. Encourage them to focus on what makes them stand out, and hone their skills and talent. If the jealousy turns into rage, then you should take a step back from the friendship.
Do friends get jealous of your success?
It’s natural for friends to get jealous from time to time. Life is full of up and downs and when you are winning it can leave your friend feeling like your life is going in a different direction than theirs.
11 Things you can do when your friend is jealous of you
Decide if its jealousy or admiration
It is easy to think that your friend is jealous of you especially if she told you, but sometimes even our friends can have the two mixed up. If she tells you that she admires you, and is jealous of your success, take a minute and think, does it sound like she wants to be me, or does this sound like she wants to achieve the same level of success that I have but doesn’t know how to go about it? There is a fine line between envy and jealousy and what we admire can sometimes look like jealousy when in fact you want the same.
Ask her why she is jealous
It’s as simple as that, if you want to know why she is jealous, you can ask her. The fact that she outright told you that she is jealous means that she is comfortable sharing these feelings with you. It might be over the stupidest thing, or she can have something serious that she is jealous about.
Help her work on the things she admires the most about you
It is so seats for your friend to tell you that she is jealous, but tell her to work on the things that she wants. If you have something that she admires then she must work on it. It will do her no good to wallow in jealousy. If you have the time and if she is a close friend you can also help her with this.
Encourage her to seek professional help
If all else fails and you think her jealousy could turn into resentment then you can tell her to seek professional help. As a friend what you can do will only go so far. And in any case, undealt with jealousy is very dangerous for all parties involved. Seeking professional help will her focus on the areas of her life that she thinks she is lacking, be it a career, relationships, or health.
Understand that you have done nothing wrong by being successful
It can be easy for you to want to relate with your friend, and you might unconsciously even without realizing and feel guilty about your achievement. This can play out in different ways but most people downplay what they have achieved to fit in. Just because your friend is jealous doesn’t mean you have to shrink your happiness to accommodate her feelings, if she is a true friend she will be happy for you.
Check her behavior
Your friend might not even realize that she is being nasty, but because she has unresolved issues with her jealousy she might come across as nasty. If some of her comments leave you feeling bad about yourself, then girl, call her out.
You must be careful because a jealous friend can do many things such as ruin your birthday party or start talking behind your back, and there is no going back after that.
Don’t walk on eggshells
If you have achieved a promotion at work, talk about it, if you are engaged, talk about it, and if you have gone viral on social media please by all means talk about it. There is nothing wrong with being successful.
Don’t brag too much about your success
Ok, so take this point with a pinch of salt because I strongly believe that you should be able to brag about your success to your friend. However, if she is going through a hard time say for example she is going through a divorce or is retrenched from her job then there is a time and a place for everything. You can hold off bragging until she gets a handle on her life.
Try to understand where she is coming from
It’s not easy being friends with someone who looks like they have everything figured out. I know for myself it wasn’t easy watching my friends get married and have children while I on the other hand didn’t even have my life mapped out. At some point I didn’t even want to hang out with those friends anymore, not because they did anything wrong but because I felt like I hadn’t achieved anything, I was not worthy to hang out with the cool achiever friends, you get my point. So try and see this from your friend’s point of view, if this is the first time that she has displayed this sort of emotion, look at it from all angles.
Take a break from the friendship if her behavior is worrisome
If you feel like you cannot be happy around her or that you have to keep your good news to yourself because you are afraid of her reaction then it’s ok to take a break from the friendship. You don’t have to tell her this, simply avoiding her and telling her you are busy with work or school should be fine. You can resume the friendship when you feel like she has changed.
Accept that the friendship has run it’s course
Sometimes we have to let go of the things that we love the most and your friendship may be one of them. This has nothing to do with the fact that your life is going well and her life is at a standstill, but not all friendships last for decades. Don’t feel shy to cut the cord, tip owing around your friend, walk on eggshells, and be afraid to voice your happiness is not what friendships are meant to be.
Jealously doesn’t have to mean the end of a friendship, there could be a million reasons why your friend is jealous. A lot of people have said to me that they are jealous, and I have said it to them, but it didn’t mean anything. We can talk it down to admiring a person’s achievements rather than outright jealousy.