“I have what I would consider to be a wonderful group of friends but lately I feel like they are always making fun of me. I have always been thin and never had a real boyfriend and I never thought it was an issue but all my friends have started making fun of me, we are all in our early 20’s so I never thought I needed a boyfriend. But when we plan events they always make fun of the fact that I am” the single friend”, A friend of mine who is bigger than me always makes fun of my weight but laughs about it and at first it didn’t bother me but now it does.” Yolanda, New York
Her Darling Life Answer
It can be annoying or even sad when your friends make fun of you, sure a joke, friends make fun of each other all the time and then stop. But what if your friends do it all the time, even worse if all the joking starts affecting the way you interact with them?
Being made fun of a few times is something we can all live with, but an attack on who you are, what you do, or how you look is crossing the line.
Should you stay with these friends who make fun of you and hurt your feelings? Will they even care to listen? So here is why your friends always make fun of you, and a few solutions you can look at.
8 Reasons why your friend make fun of you as a joke
If your friends make fun of you as a joke, it could be one of two main things, the first reason could be that they don’t mean to make you feel bad for them making fun of you is something harmless and the second reason could be that you are someone they can easily pick at and they make fun of you so that they don’t feel bad about their insecurities.
You allow it
They would not even dare make fun of you if you did not allow it. Your friends continue with this because you don’t say anything about it, you never respond and even when you do respond they can’t tell if you are serious about them stopping this behavior.
You joke about your problems or insecurities
Now this would be you sending confusing signals, on the one hand, you make of yourself but on the other hand, you don’t want your friends to do the same, so which one is it? Do you want them to make fun of you or not? Do you make fun of yourself? Can you see how confusing all of this can be?
It makes them feel better about who they
It always feels good to have one person in the good who lacks self-confidence and who everyone can rely on to be the center of the jokes. If you are the underdog of the group, the one who always has issues or going through things your friends will make fun of you to feel better about themselves.
Is making fun of someone a sign of insecurity?
Even if they don’t say it, some of your friends might be going through a difficult time in their lives, some of them might not even think highly of themselves, they lack self-confidence and to feel better about their insecurities they make all the jokes about you, and pick on you.
It’s what friends do
Friends make fun of friends all the time, it’s what friends do, the core of every friendship is the ability to play, cry and laugh with each other. Think about a time when one of your friends had an embarrassing moment with her crush or a date from hell, did all of you end up laughing at the experience? Didn’t you bring up “the bad date” or “the ruined crush” with that friend several times and laugh about it? It’s not okay for your friends to make you question yourself or call you dumb, But It’s okay for your friends to make jokes about certain aspects of your life and move on, provided these aspects have nothing to do with your health, looks, or self-esteem.
That is your role in the group
In every friendship group, everyone has a role. For example, there is “the serious friend“, “the lazy friend”, “the friend who everyone goes to for advice“, “the jokester friend” and then “there’s you”, the friend whom everyone makes fun of. You have most likely morphed into that role without even realizing it.
You have never told them to stop
We teach people how to treat us from the beginning, if you had told them to stop from the get-go, they probably would have. If your response is to smile and laugh, well guess what? They will continue making fun of you as a joke until you tell them to stop.
It’s just a joke to them
They don’t mean any harm. Your friends could be making fun of you as a joke because that’s what it is to them a joke, nothing less and nothing more. They don’t mean to make you feel bad about yourself, they joke because at that time the joke was something funny that everyone including you could laugh at.
They are not really your friends
Hey Darling, the truth is friends don’t make each other feel bad, if you have spoken to them at least once and they continue to make fun of you or joke about something that makes you feel insecure or gives you anxiety, then this group if friends might not be “your” forever group. If they know that all of this is hurting you, and you are afraid of telling them what is going on in your life, they ignore your opinions, they call you ugly and you always go home with a broken heart, they are using you as “the entertainment”.
9 Things you can try when your friends make fun of you as a joke
There are two major solutions you can try, the first solution is to talk to them the moment they make fun of you and tell them to stop, and the second is to ignore what they are saying or also make fun of them.
Look the other way
If you also make fun of your friends then you need to learn to toughen up, there is no way that you can make fun of other people and then when they fun make of you, all of a sudden you start feeling offended, if you can dish out the jokes about your friends, then Darling you have to be able to handle all the jokes that come your way.
Limit your interaction
Just because they are your friends doesn’t mean that you are stuck with hanging out with people who make fun of your insecurities as a joke. Now, don’t completely cut them off, limit your interaction with them. If they are truly your friends at least one or all of them will send you a message asking you “Why are you always busy?” or “Why don’t you hang out with us anymore”, when this happens use it as an opportunity to tell them how all the joking and making fun of you has been making you feel.
Face your problems
When people make fun of you it can hurt because you have not dealt with the issue that they are joking about. If what they make fun of sounds like an insult, maybe think about why you feel this way. You must deal with the issue internally. If they make fun of your weight, maybe you need to go to the gym so you feel better, if they make fun of your boyfriend who insults you well, maybe you need to find a new boyfriend.
Correct their behavior immediately
Yes, Darling, learn to Nip unruly behavior in the bud as soon as it happens. If all of you are sitting in one place and then they start making fun of you and joking, don’t let it slide and go home and THEN tell everyone that you did not like what they said. When they start joking you can immediately say “ Ok guys, I have been meaning to say this, but sometimes I don’t like it when you joke about my looks because it makes me feel bad, so can we find something else to joke about?”
Accept their apology
Now be a lady and gracefully accept your friend’s apology, if they apologize after you have told them not to make fun of you as a joke, all of you can move on.
Don’t take life too seriously
There will be a lot of people in your life and some of them will make fun of you, learn to take life with a pinch of salt and learn to laugh at yourself so that when people make fun of you it’s not going to hurt as much. You will make new friends and some of them will joke with you and tell jokes about you, so you can’t always run away and make new friends when this happens.
Don’t stick around
You don’t have to hang around friends who don’t treat you with respect, you don’t have to hang around anyone because you don want to be seen as a loser who has no friends. What’s the point of being around anyone who makes you doubt your self-worth? There are billions of people in the world, and a few of them would love to be your friend.
Embrace the loneliness
Loneliness can be a good thing, you can work on yourself and the things that you like to do even if you have no friends to do it with. So take yourself out, spend money on yourself, and enjoy your own company. If you crave constant attention, constant interaction and you constantly want people around you, you will never get to the root of who you are.
Tease them back
If they make fun of you, then you can also make fun of them, but Darling, try to be nice and don’t say anything that you might regret because you are angry and you want to say the biggest insult, otherwise, you can keep quiet.
Is it ok if my friends make fun of me?
Sometimes it is okay if your friends make fun of you provided that the joke is not something that makes you feel offended or bad about yourself, friends make fun of each other all the time, but there’s a limit as to what is a joke and what is not acceptable.
In the end Darling
Being made fun of by your friends is normal, but there is a line that needs to be drawn if you have friends who make fun of your insecurities and they don’t stop even when you tell them, they might be using you as the “punching bag” friend. There are many jokes your friends can say and lots of jokes that you can say without making each other feel less than, all the best Darling.