My Friend Didn’t Say Happy Birthday (Reasons & Solutions)

So your birthday came and went and you stayed up all night waiting and checking your phone and over again hoping and even praying that your friend would remember to wish you a happy birthday. But nothing your friend went on about her day as if your birthday didn’t exist. Ouch, this hurts and now you are left with a million questions saying to yourself “ I wished my friend a happy birthday but she didn’t say anything on my birthday”

This happens to a lot of people, but before you think about ending the friendship and saying to yourself “ I hate my friend”, have a look at possible reasons why your friend didn’t say happy birthday, we also have a few solutions you can try.

5 Reasons why your friend didn’t say happy birthday

She got busy

With so much going on in the world, work, relationships, children, and trying to get a qualification it’s no wonder your friend forgot to say happy birthday. She may have been busy, I know for me I have spent many days and nights doing nothing but work and sometimes my phone is the last thing on my mind. Maybe your friend is busy with work, school, or her personal life, it can happen, people do get busy.

You didn’t say happy birthday to your friend

We can’t blame your friend for not saying happy birthday if you also didn’t say it to her when she had a birthday. Yes, I know it’s extremely petty to not wish your friend a birthday because she didn’t say anything about yours, but millions of people keep a score. It’s kind of like when you buy your friend a birthday gift and when your birthday comes along you get nothing, the next year when your friend has a birthday there is no way that you would even think about getting her anything. Birthdays are special days and if you forgot to say happy birthday to her, is she really to blame?

Birthdays are not a big deal to her

The thing about birthdays is that well, everyone has them, every human on planet Earth has a birthday and for some people, birthdays are not a big deal. Your friend might not have said happy birthday not because she didn’t remember or that she doesn’t value your friendship, but for her birthdays may be just like any other day, nothing less and certainly nothing more.

She does not see you as a close friend

Here we go, back to the “ I really want to have a close friend” situation again. The closeness of friendships can easily be misinterpreted, you might feel like you are close friends but maybe your friend doesn’t feel the same, for her, you are a friend but not close enough for her to wish you a happy birthday. Don’t take it personally its a part of finding true friends that will value and wish you a happy birthday.

You didn’t tell her the date of your birthday

There have been times when I didn’t tell new friends my birthday and I was fine with them not saying happy birthday. Maybe you forgot to tell your friend about your birthday, sure you could have mentioned the month and not the date, remember we are speculating here.

7 Things you can do if your friend didn’t say happy birthday to You

If your friend didn’t say happy birthday to you and this hurts your feelings then you can confront your friend and find out why she didn’t say anything.

Stop wishing her a happy birthday

I don’t mean to tell you what to do but the most obvious thing would be to not wish her a happy when her birthday comes. I am sure if she is mature enough, won’t even expect you to say anything to her on her birthday I mean why would she when she didn’t say happy birthday to you? So keep the happy birthday message to yourself, problem solved.

Get over it

If your friend has been a good friend and done everything in her power to make you feel loved and appreciated then this is one of those things that you have to get over. Your birthday is a big deal but it’s only one day out of many birthdays, she might make it up to you when your birthday comes around the following year.

Start a joke about it

If you are an introvert and are afraid to say something or maybe you don’t want to make a big deal out of it, but you still want to let your friend know that she hurt your feelings, mention it in a joking manner. Drop the fact that she didn’t say happy birthday in a conversation, Don’t be too serious, smile and laugh and see her reaction.

Thank the ones who said Happy birthday

Your friend might not have said happy birthday to you, but I am sure you received at least one or two messages from people wishing you a lovely day. Well, thank those people who took the time out of their day to send you a message or give you a call.

Make yourself happy

The number one rule of life is to never rely on anyone but yourself for happiness. You need to live in such a way that if people don’t wish you a happy birthday your day won’t be ruined. Live your life on your terms do the things that you love and if your friend takes you out on your birthday that would be a bonus, the key to a happy life is self-love.

Talk about your feelings

If you are not afraid of confrontations then you can approach your friend and ask her why she didn’t say happy birthday. Now you don’t need to go into the conversation ready to fight, but you can be straightforward and tell her that what happened hurt your feelings.

This can go good or bad, she can acknowledge the fact that she didn’t say anything and apologize and even make it up to you by taking you out for lunch. Or, she could simply not want anything to do with you and become all defensive.

Give what you get

I previously spoke about the loneliness pandemic, where millions of people worldwide do not have any friends. You might be feeling lonely but going out of your way to please your friend, buying them presents and wishing them a happy birthday when they can’t be bothered to say anything to you will only make you feel bad about yourself. So give the friendship the same energy your friend gives. If she doesn’t call don’t call, if she doesn’t text don’t send her a million messages. Know your place in people’s lives.

Is it normal for friends not to wish you happy birthday?

Yes, it’s normal for friends to not wish you happy birthday, Some people are busy and life gets in the way, but some people don’t value birthdays as much for them a birthday is like any other day. Don’t take offense if your friend doesn’t wish you a happy birthday, if she has been a good friend you can focus on the friendship

In the end

If your friend cared about you she would say happy birthday, but remember that people are busy so if she has been a good friend why not give her a chance to make it up to you? Don’t overplay your hand in people’s lives, friends come and go and that is the nature of friendships, you make friends but you also lose friends along the way.