A friend in need is a friend indeed. No, this is not the case, when your friend steals from you trusting her again will be near impossible. But what can you do? Should confront your friend or let it slide? What to do when a friend steals from you? well we have the answers.
My friend stole from me what should I do
“Dear Sindi, I have a close friend who I suspect stole a few clothing items from me. She has visited me several times and I have noticed that some of my clothes are missing. I don’t want to accuse her of stealing but it’s getting ridiculous, the reason that I suspect her is that previously My friend stole something from a store, so I know that she has stolen before”. – Carol, Serbia
12 Ways that you can react when your friend steals from you
Don’t say anything
You can keep quiet and not say anything, if she stole something that is not worth a lot of money or something that you hardly wear or were going to throw away anyway, you can choose to keep quiet, but for how long? What if she steals something worth a lot of money next time?
Avoid spreading rumors
It can be tempting to go around your city spreading gossip about your friend stealing from you. Do not do it, it’s not worth it. The whole situation makes for interesting gossip but at what cost? Suppose you tell people that she stole from you and everyone decides to turn their backs on her, and you end up feeling bad. Or even worse, you accuse her of stealing but you have no proof, she could get you arrested and that is a whole other issue on its own.
You can warn a few people, the people that you are mutual friends with, but then again be careful because you don’t know how close the friendship is with these mutual friends. In your mind you might be thinking telling them is a good thing, but not always, so keep this one to yourself.
Use this as a learning experience
At least now you know that you can’t trust everyone that you call a friend, not every one of your friends should have access to your most valuable things. Not every friend should know your most intimate details such as passwords or where you keep your house keys.
Let Karma deal with her
Does karma exist? Who knows, some people say that it does but it doesn’t matter. Let Karma or the universe deal with your friend. Never hold a grudge or spend your days thinking of ways that you can get back at her. If she stole from you other people will eventually find out the type of person your friend is, because she will do it again.
Let’s say that after our friend steals from you, you decide to end the friendship which is fine and justifiable. But continue with your life as if nothing happened, when you see her at the mall or a restaurant greet her and say “Hello”, if she says “Hi” to you don’t look angry or visibly upset, play nice and keep it moving.
Confirm that she stole from you
How do you know that she stole from you? Did she steal something that you ordered from another country and no one in your area has the same thing? Did someone tell you? Does your apartment have a camera? Is she a kleptomaniac? Are you imagining things and maybe you misplaced a few items?
Go through this checklist before you make unfounded accusations because this can blow up in your face. If you wrongfully accuse her she can and will most likely tell everyone what a bad friend you are. She can even post about it on social media and then the whole world will get involved. If you are going on a hunch and you have no solid proof then don’t do anything until you have concrete evidence.
Don’t immediately trust her
Stealing is a huge breach of trust, especially in friendships. If your friend comes to you and apologizes for stealing, yes you can accept her apology simply because it takes guts to apologize. But girl, don’t blindly trust her again, once bitten twice shy.
Take a step back
Sometimes confrontations don’t work for many reasons. You can confront your friend and she can open up a can of worms about things that she did for you in the past or things that you did to her in the past and she forgave you for.
What if you did something bad to her or even worse, what if she is holding a deep secret that you don’t want anyone to know? Can you trust her to keep quiet? Another reason why confrontations never work is that it’s human nature for people to deny any wrongdoing, it’s very rare for anyone to admit they did something wrong let alone steal.
You can take a step back by hanging out with other friends or doing things on your own. The point is, you must take a break to be by yourself.
Steal it back
Well, she stole your things and you paid for them you can steal them back. I don’t think if you stole it back she would say anything like I said what she stole belongs to you doesn’t it?
Hide your valuables
I am not sure what kind of friendship you will have if you have to hide your valuables, but if you don’t want to end the friendship or confront her then hide your most valued items. But in all honesty, if you get to this point, is the friendship with saving?
Get to the root of the problem
Not everyone steals because they want to, prisons are full of people who have stolen because of circumstances. This might be the case for your friend. Ask her why she stole from you. She might be going through a financial crisis and is too ashamed to say anything. Or her family can no longer afford to buy her anything. Not everyone is like the famous actress Winona Ryder and has money but allegedly decided to steal. Your friend could have mental traumas or habits that might make her a kleptomaniac.
Look at the telltale signs. Has your friend suddenly changed? Has she been acting out of character? Has she been more quiet than usual? Approach this with love and care
Forgive and forget? Yes, no, maybe? Only forgive her if she is in a bad place in her life or you don’t mind that she took something from you without at least sending you a text and telling you that she took it. If you decide to forgive and forget, make it clear that she can ask you for things if she is in a tight spot, also make it clear you don’t appreciate the fact that she stole from you, and if she does it again you might find it hard to continue with the friendship.
Why did a friend steal from me?
There could be a lot of reasons why your friend stole from you. She could be jealous, suffering from a lack of self-confidence, or going through financial hardships and she is too ashamed to say anything to you.
If you have proof of your friend stealing from you then you should say something to her, don’t be a pushover, allow your friend to explain but also take responsibility for what she did. If you have proof this is not a case of “someone stole from me but I have no proof”, you have the evidence, then the ball is in your court