“My best friend is really annoying me lately”, I have heard those words a million times, where would we be without our best friends, they pick us up when that bad boy they warned us about breaks our heart, they are there to gossip when we have the juiciest news to share and they back up us if we need to get into a fight.
But boy can friends be annoying, okay you can love your friend but if both of you are normal human beings then she will annoy and yes you will also annoy her. But what gives? You ask yourself questions such as the dreaded “Am I the annoying friend” and “Why do I suddenly hate my friend for no reason?”, surely this is a sign that we should no longer be friends?
Hmmm…Nope, that’s not it, just like your friend, my friend is really annoying but that does mean that I will cut her out of my life and neither should you, so you can put your scissors away because you are not going to use them just yet, maybe another time but not now. To understand what is going on, take a look at the reasons why you love your friend but she annoys you, and if you should end this confusing friendship.
Why am I annoyed with my friend?
You find your friend annoying because the two of you spend a lot of time together, another reason could be that you have drifted apart because the older we get, the more likely we are to develop different interests from our friends.
Here are 5 possible reasons you find your friend annoying
You have different interests
If you like watching sports and she likes going to the mall or the club for a good time then chances of you going out consistently will not happen. These interests are worlds apart. As you grow the things you did at the beginning of the friendship will not be the things you want to do now. For example, if she has a child, she will most likely spend the hours you have together talking about her bundle of joy, now if having children is not on your calendar, this will annoy you, your interests are worlds apart.
Both of you have changed
Maybe you have a boyfriend and she doesn’t. Maybe she is getting married and you are not and maybe your belief systems have changed. We could go on and on but it’s normal to feel annoyed at a friend if both of you have changed, you are no longer those little woman that you once were.
She has no self-awareness
Suppose she has done things in the past that hurt you, like calling you ugly or didn’t wish you a happy birthday both of you may have carried on as if nothing happened, but every time you see her your feelings of resentment surface, but if you don’t talk about these things how will she be aware that she is annoying? Do you see where I am headed with this?
You have drifted apart
Once again, it’s natural to drift apart, so many things happen you can’t be the same person you were when you met. I would be worried if you had not evolved and still did the same things with the same people, life doesn’t work like that. So time, distance, work, and studies are all things that can keep you away from the friendship.
She makes you feel bad about yourself
Well if my friend constantly made me feel like I didn’t matter well guess what I would also be thinking of solutions on how to get rid of an annoying friend. It’s a no-brainer, if your friend is not a good friend and picks at your flaws pointing out things other people don’t and she has a little arrogance in her then of course she will be annoying to you, as it should be.
How to deal with an annoying friend
If you find your friend annoying try spending less time with her, this is your chance to develop hobbies or interests that have nothing to do with your friend. If the two of you have unresolved issues, take the time to discuss some of the things that make you unhappy in the friendship.
7 Solutions you can try when your friend is annoying you
Remember why you became friends
So what was it? Why did you become friends? Did you have a common enemy that both of you hated? Is she extremely intelligent and you were using her for her brain to help you pass and then you became friends? Whatever the reason is, it was good enough for the both of you to come together and share your deepest secrets. So think back to why you became friends, and if your “why” is no longer sufficient it’s okay. There was never any friendship law invented that says once you become friends with someone you have to stick with them for life, if this was the case Kylie Jenner would still be friends with Jordyn Woods and we all know how that panned out.
Accept her for who she is
Errr, have you looked around lately and seen that caliber of people that are left to choose friends from? Not good my friend, not good. The way I see it if she hasn’t done anything offensive you have to embrace her annoying self, and look at what she has to offer. You should never try to change anyone, least of all your friend. But hold on who is to say that she is not sitting at home thinking “Everything my friend does annoys me”, and the friend she is talking about is YOU.
Find a balance
If you are anything like a polar bear, you are most likely an ambivert, so why a polar bear what’s the connection there Sindi? Well, polar bears hibernate, they eat a lot of food and store it up in their bodies for a few months and come out of hibernation only to eat (don’t quote me on this, I saw it on national geographics once).
But the point is if you are an ambivert it may not be that you hate your friend but you need your alone time, and it’s not healthy to spend every waking moment with your friend. It’s okay to take a break from your friend, you are not saying goodbye to the friendship, but breaks will give you time to clear your mind, spend time in solitude and just be by yourself.
Get over yourself
It takes one annoying friend to know one, what if your friend is also on Google typing how to deal with an annoying friend, haha, I’m only kidding. But to be frank with you, no one is perfect not even you. The good thing about your friend is even though she is annoying she still loves you and chooses to have you in her life, so savor the memories you have together during the times you find her annoying.
Be Grateful for the friendship
I am not talking about accepting crumbs here, if your friend is annoying and also has other issues that make it a chore to be around her then she has to go, I permit you to get rid of her. We are talking about a great friend but you still find yourself with so many questions like, Why do I suddenly not like my friend? In this scenario, your friend is completely innocent but the friendship connection is not there, WAIT even if you are not feeling connected to your friend, for the most part, she is still there when you need her, that is what I mean by being grateful for the friendship.
Know that It’s normal
Assuming that you and your friend are best friends it is to be expected that at one point or another, you will say to yourself “My friend is nice but annoying“, at some point everyone gets irritated with their friend.
Why is this normal
Duh, it’s because you spend too much time together. Think about how married couples sometimes feel, at first the thought of being married seems great and it is, but married couples get annoyed with each other because spending too much time together can suck the fun out of any marriage. The time rules of engagement apply to friendship, when you met your friend for the first time it was like a friendship match made in heaven, but after three years of being joined at the hip like Siamese twins, things can get boring. You start to want to do things without her and it’s okay.
Find the problem
Suppose the two of you had a fight but didn’t come to any resolution and you carried on as normal, this could be one of the reasons that you find her annoying, so sort that issue out. In addition, it’s normal to drift apart, it’s not uncommon to think of your friend as annoying if you have nothing in common anymore.
If you are at different stages in your life, then dear everything that she does will annoy you because she cannot identify with this new era in your life, the same goes for her. Sometimes we get annoyed because the friendship has run its course, talk to her about this. If the issue is you and you are having a tough time in life, then don’t use her as a punching bag, it’s easy to be annoyed at every little thing when we are trying to sort out our lives.
What does it mean if you get annoyed at someone for no reason?
There could be a lot of reasons why you are annoyed at someone for no reason, they could have done something to you in the past and not apologized, or you could be going through some emotional instability and your emotions are all over the place, hence you are annoyed for no reason.
Is it normal to not like any of your friends?
Yes, it is normal, if you and your friends have drifted apart and don’t share any common interests it’s easy to not like them anymore.
To wrap it up
Hey, it’s not a train smash to think of your friend as annoying, I also love my BFF but because she is kind of crazy I often wonder how we met and often think to myself My friend annoys me, should I avoid making plans with her? But no, I never do because, despite her being annoying, she is still the coolest person to be around.