“Oh no, My boyfriend thinks Im boring, what should I do?… You should thank your lucky stars that your boyfriend has come clean and told you he thinks that you are boring, it might not seem like it but you have the upper hand here, you get to decide to stay or leave. But given that he is the one who is dating you and knows the type of girlfriend that you are why would you think that? He knows that you are not hyper, he knows that you are not wild so what does he expect you to do?
Before you see this as a complete insult, look at why he thinks you are boring, and most importantly, what you should do about it.
9 Reasons why your boyfriend thinks you are boring
Your boyfriend thinks you are boring for two reasons: firstly he feels like you never want to do anything, you don’t like going out, and secondly, your relationship has become boring because you have been together for a long time and have a repetitive routine.
He loves adventure
Some guys love to live on the edge, that’s why we have what are called adrenaline junkies, they love the unknown and to be kept on their toes. Do you know what personality type your boyfriend is? Does he go on wild adventures with his friend and hates sitting around not doing anything? You might have your answer there.
You hate going out
Not everyone loves to go clubbing or skydiving, you might only love to sit at home and there is nothing wrong with that, he might think that you are boring because you want the two of you to only stay at home, every weekend doing that same thing kind of like groundhog day.
You never ask him about himself
Sure you are the girlfriend and deserve all the attention but if you make everything about yourself and never show interest in what he does, he will think ” My girlfriend makes everything about herself, I hate it“, and guess what, you look boring in his eyes.
You hate drinking
Arrgh, what is up with society forcing everyone to drink, some people think that if you do not drink that you are boring with a capital B. Drinking wine, champagne, vodka, or anything that will have you dancing on top of the table is seen as cool, and you are seen as someone who knows how to let your hair down.
If you don’t drink maybe when the two of you go out, he drinks but you stare at him with disapproving eyes as if you are saying” Alcohol is so childish, I am too mature for this”, you might appear judgemental otherwise known as boring in this case.
He has a mental problem
Seriously he might be a psychopath, they love to be overly stimulated, psychopaths hate boredom and they go to extremes to try and alleviate any signs of boredom. Look at your boyfriend’s behavior does he go to abnormal and almost dangerous extremes to be entertained, think about 50 Shades of Gray only ten times more extreme. Is he entertained by things that are outside the realm of being normal and does this make you uncomfortable?
You never want to do anything
Even when you are at home you never want to do anything, you like to spend time watching TV or reading a book, but you never want to play board games or do something fun like cook together.
He is testing you
There we go again with the unnecessary relationship tests, some guys will test your boundaries to see what you are willing to do for them, he might be expecting you to ask him what he thinks would make you exciting, and then he might suggest something that would be totally out of your character like engaging in a threesome or something of that nature.
He is preparing to break up with you
It appears like he may be setting the stage to break up with you and trying to ease you into the end of the relationship. He might have found a new flame who is not boring and he is subconsciously comparing the two of you. Or he is sick and tired of being with you but doesn’t know how he will tell you that the relationship is not working for him.
You have been together for a long time
Yup, you have gotten into the old couple routine of doing the same thing every day, this happens when couples have been dating for a long time this is a universal problem. If you think long enough I am sure that have been moments where you have thought “ Jeez, I find my boyfriend boring”.
Being boring in a relationship is common you are not always going to look fresh, happy, and ready to go, all the things that used to be exciting about you are no longer going to be exciting because the relationship has stepped into routine mode and that’s normal.
What to do if your bf calls you boring? (9 Things that you can do)
When your bf calls you boring you should talk to him about how this makes you feel, and ask him what he means by saying that you are boring. Be open to new experiences and do things together that will keep the relationship exciting and make both of you feel good.
Dont entertain him
It’s not your job to be Joker the clown and entertain your boyfriend, it’s, not your job to look like a goddess all the time so that he doesn’t thinks that you are not boring, and it is not your job to come up with ways to keep him entertained, it’s exhausting.
Be open to new experiences
Keep an open mind and try new things during the weekend, you don’t have to have a whole itinerary but do something that you wouldn’t usually do. Google is your friend, you can do so many new things with your boyfriend things that don’t involve you stressing yourself or doing things that you wouldn’t normally do.
Take the time to search on Google, Yahoo, or Bing you can type something like ” fun activities in Houston for couples, date night restaurants near me, or cute date night ideas. Make your search specific to what you are looking for.
Dont act out of character
Never do things out of panic because you are thinking” My boyfriend says I’m not fun” and now you are worried that he will dump you, if you are afraid of heights and he wants to go bungee jumping, abort the mission, and don’t go it’s not who you are.
If you are worried about being dumped understand that he will dump you for any reason that he comes up with, he might even dump you for being bad in bed, and we know how subjective intimacy is. Don’t go overboard with people pleasing, well in your case the “boyfriend pleasing” because you want to look fun.
Understand its ok to be different
Being different makes you special it is okay not to party, not to own a stripper pole, not to drink, and not to be loud, that is not you. Opposites attract and there was something about you that made your boyfriend initially fall in love. Keep your individuality intact, it is okay to love to go to the library or do scrapbooking, it actually sounds like fun.
Show interest in him
Make it a point to ask him about his day or time out with the boys, ask him what his hobbies and show some interest even if you find football boring. This will make him feel good and it shows that you are not self-absorbed and he might continue to treat you like a princess, sweet.
Find someone with common interests
There comes a point in every relationship where you have to assess how compatible you are, you won’t see this until you have been together for a while because in the beginning you are blinded by love and a new romance. Look at the relationship for what it is, do you honestly have something in common with him? Do you share at least one common hobby? If not, it’s time to find someone you will be able to relate with.
Go back to the relationship code
“ Thou shall not call each other boring, thou shall find common ground and thou shall never make each other feel sad”. Relationships are about accepting your partner for who they are, and if they are boring, finding ways to spice things up without offending anyone. He should be building you up with kind words and not making you feel like you are not doing enough.
Ask him to explain what he means
In his defense he might not have said that you are boring, he might have said “ I am bored” and maybe you took it to mean that you are boring. Maybe he told you on a day when you weren’t feeling your best and you mistook his statement to mean “ My boyfriend seems bored with me”. Ask him what he meant with that statement and if it is directed at you, as him what he expects you to do about it.
Remember that excitement fades
Even if you break up with him, the next relationship that you get into will have stages of feeling suffocating and boring. Because that is what happens, it’s normal, relationships arents always exciting. You will have moments where you might even fantasize about being single, you will also have boring conversations with your partner, once again it is normal, keep all of this in mind.
How do you know if you are boring to your boyfriend?
You are boring to your boyfriend when he does the following: He no longer shows interest in you, he fights with you all the time, he does everything in his power to spend time away from you, he hardly checks up on you and lately when he tells you that he thinks that you are boring.
To sum it up, Darling
Don’t go to your nearest costume store and buy all the exciting costumes because you want to surprise him and look exciting, there is no need to panic. All you have to do is find out what he means by “boring”, if he has valid arguments consider them. If you don’t agree with what he says or have done everything in your power to not be boring and he still is not happy, then pause and think…