“ I am so pretty, I hate my job, why does the world hate me, My feelings matter”, does all of this sound familiar, is this you? Do you talk like this and make everything about yourself even when your boyfriend is trying to express himself?
Darling no wonder your boyfriend says that you make everything about yourself because it sounds like you do. But how can you stop, how can you make your boyfriend stop thinking that you make everything about yourself? Well you know that we are all about solutions, have a look at some things that you can do to solve this.
5 Reasons why your boyfriend says that you make everything about yourself
Your boyfriend says that you make everything about yourself because he feels as if you never listen to him, every time you are at fault you never apologize or acknowledge your mistakes.
You never listen to what he has to say
One of the signs of a selfish girlfriend is the inability to listen, every time your boyfriend tries to reason with you, you never listen, you pretend to listen and you pretend to understand what he is saying. You may sometimes promise to change but you never do and this leads him to think that you make everything about yourself.
You never apologize
You never think that anything in your relationship is your fault, you always play the victim and you always wait for your boyfriend to call you. Even when you know in your hearts of hearts that you are wrong you will never apologize even when it’s not his fault he is the one who has to say “ I am sorry”.
You always talk about yourself
Your boyfriend may think that you are perfect but that doesn’t mean that you should act like a primadonna all the time. You might always change the subject and make it about yourself even when he has something serious to discuss you always find a way to change the conversation to you and your needs.
You take things personally
He may think that you take things way too personally even when you should not. When your boyfriend tries to talk to you about something wrong that you did your first reaction may be to cry or not talk to him for a few days, giving him the silent treatment.
He is saying it to control you
He might be saying that you make everything about yourself to placate you, he doesn’t want you to call him out on his behavior so when he does something bad he knows what to say and he knows how you will react, it could be a tactic for him to not own up to his mistakes.
7 Things that you can do when your boyfriend says that you make everything about yourself
You need to acknowledge your mistakes and give your boyfriend space to express himself when you are not happy with what is going on in your relationship give him time to tell you his side of the story and come to an amicable solution so that he doesn’t say that you make everything about yourself.
Take a hard look at yourself
Even if you are going through a hard time in your life you need to stop and think “ Am I selfish”, now to do this you have to look at where you are in life because your current situation is a result of your past actions. You have to take responsibility for your life and this includes your relationship with your boyfriend.
Maybe you are saying to yourself “ But it’s not me, I am not at fault here” Well it takes two to tango, and some of the problems in your relationship are the result of your action or inability to take action. Do you dismiss your boyfriend when he tries to talk to you, do you cry and hope that he forgives you for whatever it is that you did? Do you put on the baby face in hopes that your relationship problems will be swept under the carpet?
Open the lines of communication
Communicate with your boyfriend and be honest about things that make you unhappy, let him speak and have his say without getting emotional and defensive if he makes a valid point acknowledge it, and think of ways to solve the problem.
Ask for help
If you really cannot solve the problem and he still thinks that you make everything about yourself seeking help from a professional might do the trick. Look at professionals in your area a quick Google search of “ Therapist in Las Vegas” Or “Therapist in Newyork”, and make it specific to your area. If you cannot afford a counselor or a therapist then look at free online resources.
Try Googling something like “ books to help couples solve problems” Or “ relationship books”.Seek help if needed. Sometimes, it can be difficult to make changes on our own. Consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor who can help you work through these issues.
Give it time
You are not going to change overnight, rome wasnt built in one day getting rid of some of your bad habits will take a lot of practice every time you find yourself making everything about yourself stop and think for a moment and say to yourself “ Is this about me or my boyfriend, am I being helpful and is he right”. You can also ask your boyfriend to make you aware of those moments when you only think of yourself.
Do some Self-introspection
The only way to do this is to own up to your actions you are not perfect and that is okay, you make mistakes you have to make mistakes even in your relationship otherwise I would be worried, no one is perfect and this includes you. The sooner you say “ I am sorry, I was not aware that I make everything about myself “ the better it will be for your relationship.
Don’t overdo it
Okay, sure you make everything about yourself and you are owning up to your mistakes but that doesn’t mean treating him as if he were Prince Charles, an apology and changed behavior is enough. Do not guilt trip yourself or let him hold your past behaviors over your head. Do not do things in the relationship under pressure for him to stop thinking that you make everything about yourself such behavior will lead to him manipulating, gaslighting, and taking advantage of you.
Let go of the need for drama
I know, is there a relationship that does not have any drama? How do people in drama-free relationships survive? Yes Darling some relationships are drama-free, drama is fun and exciting but is exhausting. It’s common for women to subconsciously create drama in their relationships because of self-sabotage or because they just love to argue, Don’t do that leave the drama behind.
In the end
The last thing you want is for your boyfriend to say to himself “My girlfriend is selfish”, or “ I have a self-absorbed girlfriend” all because you do not want to take the time to compromise and listen to him. Sometimes he is right and sometimes you will be right, but who is keeping score right?