Is your friend a verbal bully who loves to have her way? You do know that you can nip this in the bud right? When your friend keeps arguing with you there are several reasons for this, and you can talk it out, find a solution and have an argument-free friendship.
Maybe you are saying to yourself “Why does my friend want to fight with me, why am I her punching bag?” We have the answer you are looking for but remember you have options.
7 Reasons why you friend keeps arguing with you
There are two reasons why your friend keeps arguing with you, the first reason is that it makes her feel good to argue with you because she has low self-esteem so arguing with you gives her an outlet and secondly she may have unresolved anger about things that have happened in your friendship and has trouble expressing how she feels.
She feels unheard
Have you ever felt like your opinions were not heard, you tried everything to get someone to understand you? Your friend might be in pain getting you to see things her way. She might be right about certain things and her arguing with you is the only way that she can get her point across.
She loves to debate
Hold on Darling are you sure that your friend is arguing with you or just loves to debate? Have you considered that your friend might be one of those intellectual friends who love to debate any and everything, it’s who they are, it’s in their nature to pick a topic and try to come up with arguments to support their points. Maybe she doesn’t mean to argue in her mind she is debating and loves the banter between the two of you.
She still needs to grow up
It doesn’t matter if your friend is older than you if she keeps arguing all the time without any valid reason she needs to grow up. Have you ever thought to yourself that my friend acts like a child yet she is older than me? It happens she needs to grow up.
You never listen
Think back to the times when you and your friend hung out together, this can be on several occasions, where you paying attention. Did she have to repeat herself, in her defense it can be hard to be friends with someone who is always preoccupied, with Twitter, or Facebook. It’s the little things such as not being a good listener that can turn your friend into an argumentative and annoying person.
She loves the attention
She’s one of those people who love it when the topic is about her, in her Barbie girl world, it’s her way or the highway. She loves talking about herself, she loves the attention that comes with discussing her life and unfortunately for you, you are on the receiving end of her attention-seeking ways, so she starts arguments.
She is not self-assured
People who are like your friend love pointing out other people’s flaws, it is the need to prove oneself, starting arguments is a sure sign of a lack of self-confidence, if she starts these arguments and starts speaking to you in a demeaning way she is doing it on purpose she needs to get her self-esteem in check.
She doesn’t respect you
People usually argue with people they don’t fully respect, think about it. When your friend talks to you with respect you know that even though she argues with you she holds you in high esteem but when she doesn’t respect you she speaks to you any way that she wants to, if she fully respected you she would feel somewhat intimidated by you.
9 Things that you can do when your friend keeps arguing with you
When your friend keeps arguing with you there are two things that you can do: the first thing is to ask her why she keeps arguing and try to resolve any issues that will cause future arguments and secondly agree to disagree.
Listen to her
Hey, an argumentative friend is still a friend, right? Before you throw the entire friendship in dust bin where it most likely belongs take the time to be attentive and give her the space to say whatever she wants, if she still argues with you even after you have been a dear friend, well Darling it’s time to pack your friendship suitcase.
Sometimes you need to argue back to put your friend in her place, she may be picking on you because you never have anything to say and in her mind, she might have the impression that she can walk all over you. Try standing up to her, and be serious about it, don’t laugh, don’t smile have a serious face so that she knows not to mess with you. When you do this once and do it right she won’t ever think she can argue with you because you can’t defend yourself.
Get used to healthy arguments
All friends argue, it would be rather strange if your friendship was all rainbows and strawberries and cream, but friends do argue, it’s healthy to argue but there is a difference between being a bitter mean girl and a friend who wants to state her point across your task is to figure out which one is which.
Steer clear of certain topics
Avoid topics that will get both of you fired up, topics around politics, business, religion, or the government all get people emotional. If the two of you have an issue that you know will never be resolved, agree to disagree and move on. If your friend keeps bringing up the past then sit her down and find a resolution, agree to disagree.
Respectfully agree to what she says
Sometimes to have peace with your friend you need to act like you agree so that she can stop talking. If she argues about something that you don’t care about or mind her being right, then nod your head in agreement so that she can feel justified and keep things moving.
Stop defending yourself
Don’t defend yourself, there is no need to, you are not in Judge Judy’s court nor do you have to give her evidence of anything to support her points of argument. If she thinks that you are wrong about something and you have apologized, stop there and say “ Okay”.
Do you want to be friends with someone who loves to argue her way through friendships? The world is full of issues that need our focus and being friends with someone who thrives on conflict, who thrives on being right, and who loves to put her points across is draining. Your friendship should be full of love, laughs, gossiping, and understanding, not having you feeling like you are in the boxing ring with Mike Tyson.
Tell her to stop it
If arguing back is not your thing you can still get her to stop by and tell her “ Please stop it”.This isn’t the jerry springer show where you argue any and everything your friend needs to stop and you need to tell her to stop. Don’t be afraid of asserting yourself, it can suck your blood to be around someone who loves to argue, your peace is at stake.
Okay, this is the last point because it’s the last thing that you should do, you can record her for two reasons, the first reason is that she needs to hear how she sounds when she argues with you, hopeful the sound of her high pitched voice screaming and yelling will be enough to get her to stop. And secondly, for argument purposes, you can listen to the recording and play with back to her with new points of argument after you have thought about what she said.
Why is my friend always picking fights with me?
Your friend is always picking fights with you because she doesn’t feel good about herself, her picking fights with you allows her to act superior and bully you. She wants to seem tough and she wants to act like the boss in your friendship.
Why do my friend and I keep arguing?
You and your friend keep arguing because you spend a lot of time together, this happens because you have been friends for a long time, fighting, annoying, and irritating each other is common.
Is it normal for friends to argue a lot?
Yes, it’s normal for friends to argue but not all the time, arguing is considered a healthy part of friendships because it’s okay to disagree. Arguing a lot is a sign of an unhealthy dynamic.
To wind it up
Arguing with your best friend is one of those potato potahto, tomato tomato things because it doesn’t matter who wins because friendship is not a race, remember to let me know what happens Darling.