Since when is your car “our car”? Yes, this is your boyfriend and you love him but at what point does letting him use your car become a cause for concern? When he takes your car without your permission, doesn’t fill up the gas takes, or lets his friends make a mess this can leave you thinking Is my boyfriend using me for my car?
It’s vital to remember that your car is one of your most prized possession, so protecting it should be high on your priorities list.
One of your readers from Texas in the United States submitted a question for us, here she talks about how her boyfriend thinks her car is his and drives it without asking for her permission.
My Boyfriend thinks my car is his (My boyfriend uses my car)
I am from Texas here in the United States, I am looking for some advice. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 2 years when we met we both didn’t have cars. I was the first one to buy a car and then a year later he bought his. The problem with his car is that it is a secondhand car, that barely functions so most of the time we use my car. His car won’t start, it always has engine problems so basically it’s a dud. The issue is that he is always driving my car even when I am not in it. He eats and leaves my car filthy and doesn’t pay for the cleaning. We are dating but something he doesn’t ask me for permission, he often says things like you are my woman and I am your man. I am not sure what is that supposed to mean because I am more financially secure than he is. Am I overreacting? Should I share a car with my boyfriend and how do I get him to respect my car and boundaries? – Annisa- Texas
My Boyfriend Thinks My Car Is His (8 Things To Do)
If your boyfriend thinks your car is his, you must set clear boundaries, he needs to ask you for permission and if you allow him to use it you must hold him liable for any damages that happen when he drives.
Do what he does to your car to his
I guess if you can’t beat them join them, do the same thing that he does to your car. So If he eats in your car and leaves a mess do the same in his, if he takes your car without asking for permission then take his car, if he drives your car and doesn’t fill up the gas tank do the same to his and if he damages your car well, darling that’s a whole nother story.
Keep your eyes open
He is your boyfriend and you love him but that doesn’t mean you must be drunk in love, you are not Beyonce. Love him but have some wits about you dating a man who thinks your car is his can create a lot of problems for you? How? Well, he has already shown you that he doesn’t respect your boundaries otherwise he would never act like your car is his, and secondly, he doesn’t pay for anything related to your car the only thing that he does is drive it.
I know it’s stereotyping but men who tend to date women who are more financially secure tend to take advantage of their girlfriends’ kindness. It first starts with taking over your car, then he might get into a car accident and not pay you back if you move in together and cosign on a loan you will most likely be the only one paying it back because you don’t want to mess up your credit score. It can take you years to dig yourself out of a financial mess, and yes it starts with situations like these.
Set some rules
You don’t have to completely ban him from driving your car but have a few rules in place. For example, tell him that he has to fill up the gas tank every time he drives your car. He must also leave it car in the same condition that he found it in. And lastly, if he wrecks your car you will hold him liable for damages. It will be better to have all of this in writing and make him sign so that he can keep his end of the bargain.
Think of the consequences
You have insurance to think about here, what if he gets into an accident while driving? Some insurances refuse to pay if the car was driven by someone else who is not listed on the insurance (please don’t list your boyfriend, you will thank me later).
Do you see yourself paying a large sum of money by taking an unnecessary loan in this broken economy and spending years paying it off when you could be doing something else with your hard-earned money?
Help where you can
Okay speaking hypothetically maybe your boyfriend uses your car because his car has a problem so basically he has no car. In these situations, you can help where you can but only when it will be convenient for you. Drive him to where he wants to go when you are free you can even let him drive when you are in the car.
Have a limit
It starts with asking if he can use your car to asking if he can sleep at your place every night to asking you if he can borrow money, so have a limit. Will he break up with you? No… when you have a limit the right guy will understand and have no issues?
If you are scared of having boundaries understand that you cannot buy love with money or a car, if he will leave he will leave you regardless, in any case, it’s better if he leaves with your car and money still intact.
Contemplate the future
If he starts making snarky remarks about your car boundaries and saying things like “I don’t know what the big deal is” Or “ I will put gas in your car just relax” then darling it’s time for an internal dialog with yourself.
Men who do not respect their girlfriends’ rules and limitations don’t really change. Yes, there are cases of boyfriends understanding the rules but for the most part, he might continue to treat you like you are stupid. And remember if he makes you feel bad about protecting what is yours, then maybe your relationship future is not bright. Could we say that this is one of the signs he’s using you, well that is up for debate.
Break up with him
If you have had enough, and you can see he will never respect your car, dump him. Break up with him, not because of the car per se, but because he doesn’t respect your boundaries and is borderline controlling.
Should I let my boyfriend use my car?
If your boyfriend is responsible and can afford to pay for things such as a car wash, gas, and a car wreck, then yes you can let him use your car. If he is unemployed or doesn’t have a driver’s license then no don’t let him use your car.
Is having a car important in dating?
A car is not important but can be convenient when dating because you and your partner can go on dates anytime you want. When emergencies arise both of you can attend to them quickly.
Is my boyfriend insured if he drives my car?
A majority of car insurance will insure your boyfriend if he is listed on the car policy, this also applies to your family member if they are also listed.
To wind it up
A car is a material possession but it’s still your car and it’s something you worked hard to obtain, even if it was an inheritance the point is that is still your car. Sharing car with boyfriend who doesn’t respect simple ques, like cleanliness and filling the gas tank is a sign of a cause for concern.