There are two types of boyfriends, the first is one who knows that he is clever and doesn’t make you feel bad and the second, is one who knows that he is clever and treats you like you are stupid, so which category does your boyfriend fall under?
The fact that you are reading this is enough to tell me that you are not stupid, you want to know why your boyfriend treats you like you are stupid and what you should do about it, Darling read until the end, you will love the last point.
6 Reasons why your boyfriend treats you like you are stupid
Your boyfriend treats you like you are stupid because it makes him feel better about himself, treating you like you are stupid gives his ego a boost, he feels above you and thinks he is more intelligent than you.
He is intelligent
The good news is that your boyfriend is not bozo the clown who doesn’t know anything the bad news is that he knows too much. Why can’t intelligent people like your boyfriend meet us halfway? He may be treating you like you are stupid because he is intelligent and because he knows too much and you don’t know as much as he does it makes you come across as stupid.
You sometimes act stupid
Acting stupid when you are with your boyfriend is only cute in the first few weeks of dating when you act like a blonde Barbie doll who doesn’t know the difference between pair and pear. But acting stupid quickly becomes annoying when your relationship starts getting into a routine.
Maybe you sometimes act stupid, once again not because you are stupid but because you subconsciously want him to feel good about himself, your acting stupid has become your identity in the relationship, if this is the case, you can’t blame him for treating you like you are stupid.
He is doing it on purpose
He wants to hurt you by treating you like you don’t know anything, he may have his reasons for doing this. Maybe the two of you had a heated argument about something so in retaliation he started treating you this way. Or maybe he doesn’t like you at all, he knows treating you like you are stupid is almost the same as when your boyfriend tells you he thinks you are ugly, both of these will hurt you for a long time.
He has a big ego
Ya, our good old friend called Ego is back, he may treat you like you are stupid because he has an ego. Now his ego may not be directly related to him being intelligent he might have an ego because he is good-looking, he is popular, his family treats him like Rob Kardashian or you have told him how awesome he is, it could be anything.
He doesn’t mean to do it
Let’s give your boyfriend the green card here maybe he didn’t mean it and maybe you sometimes overreact and misinterpret his actions or words as meaning that you are stupid.
He doesn’t feel good about himself
He might not even like who is he, and because he is insecure about himself he takes his frustrations out on you. You might not be stupid, you might even be more clever than he is, so his treating you like you are stupid is his way of dealing with what he lacks in himself and the relationship, he uses how ‘stupid’ you are to build himself, because in his mind if you can be down, then he will be up.
7 Things that you can do when your boyfriend treats you like you are stupid
If your boyfriend treats you like you are stupid you need to have an honest conversation about the way that he treats you, should he fail to change his behavior you must end the relationship and find a boyfriend who doesn’t make you feel bad for your lack of knowledge.
Stop acting stupid
You have to stop acting stupid, that whole Barbie and Ken or snow white and the seven dwarfs narrative no longer works. You don’t need to dumb down your intelligence, you don’t have to pretend as if you don’t know anything, you don’t have to stroke his intelligent ego and I mean you don’t want him saying to himself “ I am dating a dumb person”.
Stand up for yourself
The only way to nip this stupid behavior in the bud is to stand up for yourself and tell him when you don’t like the way he treats or speaks to you. You can say something like “ I have been meaning to tell you something, I don’t like it when you treat me like I am stupid, because I am not, if you were joking that is okay, but to keep the peace lets not make jokes that will make each other feel bad”.
Don’t try to change him
You won’t change him, you cannot change him so do not waste your precious years trying to achieve the impossible. Maybe you are asking yourself “Will he change if I leave him and will he stop treating me as if I am stupid?” Many women before you have tried and have failed to change their boyfriends, Darling you are not any different. Don’t try to change him, it’s not your job to do that, look at this from an outsider’s perspective. If your friend or sister were in a relationship with someone who treats them as if they are stupid what would you tell them to do?
Treat him the same way that he treats you
Well, it takes one stupid person to know one doesn’t it? I wouldn’t do this unless you are fed up and have one foot outside the door. But you can treat him the same way that he treats you, if he makes you feel stupid find something that you know he feels insecure about and act on it, to make him feel stupid.
Remember the rules of love
“Love thy neighbor” but in your case, it’s “love thy partner”, you know the rules of love, and calling or treating a partner like they are stupid is not one of them. Remember what it feels like to love and be loved in a way that doesn’t make you feel dumb and a way that doesn’t leave you questioning your intelligence.
Don’t take your lack of knowledge personally
Darling, you will never know everything that is happening in the world and you will never have enough knowledge about every single topic and that is okay, there is not enough time for you to be a doctor, lawyer, teacher, or astronaut in one lifetime that is impossible. Don’t take what he says about you too personally if he treats you like you are stupid that’s on him not you.
Leave the relationship
“ To the left, to the left, everything you own in a box to the left”, as Beyonce put it, to the left. There is no rhyme or reason for you to put up with someone who treats you like you are stupid. If he doesn’t change after giving him several chances you can leave or he can leave, I don’t care who leaves but the relationship can end.
How can I be smart to my boyfriend?
You must be yourself and ask him questions that you have a lot of knowledge about, and engage him in conversation about sports, education, or anything that you think you have good knowledge of.
Does IQ matter in a relationship?
IQ in a relationship depends on many factors couples can have different levels of knowledge about subjects and that is okay. You need to be able to communicate and be on a similar level to challenge each other, a relationship works best if the partners are equal when it comes to intelligence.
To wrap it up
You must be saying to yourself “My boyfriend thinks I’m not smart “, But you must know that being perceived as stupid is subjective, and it’s stupid for your boyfriend to treat you like you are stupid. Maybe you should rather be saying “My boyfriend is an idiot for treating me as if I am stupid”. Darling communicate and make your voice heard.