Are you the life of the party? Do you know everyone and does everyone know you? It’s a good thing but not for your relationship, your boyfriend has a problem with you being a socialite he is starting to get suspicious of your social circle and is starting to think ” My girlfriend is too friendly”.
Were you friendly before you met your boyfriend or is this something new and you have come out of your shell while the two of you started dating? Either way, let’s see why your boyfriend says that you are too friendly and be sure to look at the solutions because they work.
5 Reasons why your boyfriend says that you are too friendly
Your boyfriend says that you are too friendly because of two reasons, one is that he doesn’t trust the people that you hang around with and feels insecure, and two he feels excluded when you socialize.
You ignore him in public
It’s easy to see why he would feel like he is your bodyguard if you ignore him in public, suppose the two of you go out to places that you know people and he knows no one, he will feel left out. Of Course, he won’t be a part of the conversation because it’s hard to talk about anything other than the weather when you don’t know people personally. If you get to an event and start to mingle without him, he will feel ignored.
He wants to be able to trust you
It’s not that he thinks that you will cheat and that he doesn’t trust you but he might not trust the guys that you hang around with, he is a guy and he knows that guys tend to take being too friendly as a sign that the girl is interested in them. How many times have you had a male friend who you thought understood that he was just a friend come to you and confess that he has feelings for you? It happens all the time, he may have trust issues not with only you but your male friends.
You know everybody
Are you that person who knows everyone on the street? Does it take you an hour to get to the supermarket because everyone stops to say “Hello” when it would take us, normal people, ten minutes to get there? Do you have friends in every town and your phone constantly rings throughout the night because all your girlfriends want to catch up? If you know everyone, it’s a no-brainer that he says that you are too friendly.
He is not confident
He might be saying this because he is not confident, he is not like you, he doesn’t like everyone and everyone doesn’t like him. He may be an introverted guy who prefers quiet evenings at home watching a movie as opposed to drinks with friends. Social gatherings may leave him feeling awkward and embarrassed because he doesn’t like to socialize for long.
He is afraid that you will cheat
With you being too friendly there is a huge chance that you will meet lots of people and some of them guys who may or may not be better than your boyfriend if he thinks you being friendly will cause you to cheat it’s because of one of two things. It’s either you have cheated in the past and lied about a male friend only being a friend or he is freaked out and his social insecurities cause him to overthink everything.
7 Things that you can do when your boyfriend says that you are too Friendly
You can make him feel included by making him a part of your social circle and conversations, try to make him see that everyone that you interact with is only your friend and you have eyes for him, this way he won’t say that you are too friendly.
Have a limit on how friendly you are
There is nothing wrong with knowing everyone but have a limit when you are with him. If a lot of people are stopping you to talk then keep it moving with a friendly ” Hi, it’s good to see you, we are on our way, bye”.
Show him attention in public
Make him feel a bit at ease when you are in public it will even be better if you do this when there are other guys around so that he can see that you are all his, maybe have a friend or two back you up.
Do some self-introspection
He says that you are too friendly, well tell me, are you? Ask yourself the question: “Am I too friendly with guys that my boyfriend thinks that I hate him or don’t care?” Self-criticism is a hard thing to do but this is not an attack on who you are but rather a review of your behavior.
There is being a friend and then there’s being overly friend to the point that it disrespects your partner. Do you flirt too much and think it is harmless, do you ignore your boyfriend only to chat with him once when your friend arrives? You might feel that this is harmless but for him, it’s not fun, so be honest with yourself.
Make your feelings a top priority
The last thing you must do is walk around timid and scared to have a conversation with anyone because you are afraid of what he will think, if you are extroverted you cannot change that, if it’s agonizing for you not to be friendly then make how you feel a priority.
Consider how he feels
As a fellow introvert, I can tell you social circles can be ge gut-retching and make you feel socially awkward if you don’t know how to act, you will only understand it if socializing has never been your thing. So think about how he must feel when he is with you and you are the life of the event and he doesn’t know what to do or what to say and you have left him alone.
Don’t change for him
You don’t have to completely cut everyone out, have a conversation with him about how this makes you feel, and if he comes up with justifiable arguments then contemplate how you guys go out together. Do this if it feels right, feels natural and you will still maintain close contact with your friends, don’t abandon everyone for him.
Suppose you took his feelings into account and did your best to make him feel included and you have toned down your friendliness and he still is not happy, then go back to basics and be yourself. He needs to acknowledge your efforts and let’s make an effort on his part to also ramp up his friendliness when in public. You shouldn’t have to pay for his disapproval of your social skills.
Is being too friendly flirting?
Yes and no, if you talk about surface-level subjects and do not go too deep into your personal life then you are not flirting, you are flirting when you reveal too much personal information especially information about your relationships to someone of the opposite sex or same sex.
In conclusion, Darling
Being too friendly in a relationship is not the problem, but being too friendly with other people that it makes your boyfriend question the relationship. Your boyfriend might not have a problem with your friends but if you have male homies he might be thinking” My gf is too friendly with guys, I can’t trust her”.Remember is all about striking a balance between accommodating other people as well as your boyfriend, do what feels right.