My friend Didn’t Invite Me To Her Baby Shower ( 8 Ways You Can React)

So your close buddy revealed to you that she expecting, and there is excitement all around. You have been dreaming of not only being there for her but maybe you wanted to be the one to plan the baby shower, heck you even imagined a Winnie the pooh or a cute baby girl shower theme. Only to log onto social media and find out your friend had a baby shower brunch, and to top it off everyone received baby shower invitations except you. So what now? Why weren’t you invited? 

Before you jump to conclusions, take a look at some of the possible reasons that you were not invited. 

Who usually gets invited to a baby shower?

Close friends and family are usually invited to a baby shower, however, some people like to extend the invitation to close co-works, and sometimes co-works can throw a baby shower for their colleagues.

8 Ways you can react when your friend didn’t invite you to her baby shower

Find out why she didn’t want you at the baby shower

There could be a very good reason why you were not invited. These days a lot of people have multiple baby showers for different groups of friends, and this likely is one of those occasions.  We all have other groups or types of friends, maybe the baby shower was put together by her colleagues at her place of work.

Give her the benefit of the doubt

Before you say something you might regret, give her the benefit of the doubt, she might not have even planned the baby shower herself. Sometimes family members take it upon themselves to plan things for us. If her family planned the baby shower then she had no control over the guest list. If it was planned by a family member who doesn’t know you then, of course, you will not get an invitation.

My aunt had a baby shower and it was planned by my mother and her older sister. We didn’t invite everyone because firstly we didn’t know all her friends and secondly it would have looked suspicious if we asked her to give us her list of friends, we wanted it to be a total surprise. The bottom line is if she had no hand in the planning, then she can’t be blamed for the shower surprise.

Send her a gift anyway

If you harbor no ill feelings and you have talked it out show her some love by sending her a gift. There is nothing wrong with continuing the friendship even if you were not invited.

Voice your dissatisfaction

This is not a sure reason to end a friendship because ending a friendship needs a culmination of reasons. Talk to her about this, voice your concerns, and ask her if she sees a future with this friendship. We take for granted that our friends will know when we feel hurt but this is not always the case, so plan a time when you are both free and discuss this without feeling over-emotional.

Look at the positive side

Hey, I always say that there is a bright side to everything, and this is one of those times. You are saving yourself from buying any future presents  If the friendship is not as tight as it used to be and you feel like it will never be the same again, then you have saved yourself for buying not only a baby shower present but any other present that is related to her child. So no one-year birthday or sweet sixteen birthday present buying for you, you get to save. 

Make plans with other friends

If she has been a really close friend with a pattern of undesirable behavior you can do activities with other friends. The break will do you good, you will have time to think if this is a friendship that is worth saving. Make plans with other friends to boost your confidence and not keep yourself socially isolated.

Don’t attend  the baby shower ( if it hasn’t happened yet )

Okay, petty corner here we come, if you hear this through the grapevine and the day for the baby shower is approaching do not attend. Why would you? You were not invited, excuse my language and I know it sounds cruel, but you didn’t receive the invitation. If your friend is the one that is throwing the baby shower and she still hasn’t said anything, then my darling doesn’t do that to yourself.  I would not attend any function I was not invited to.

Give the friendship the same priority as she does

If your feelings are really hurt and her not inviting you to occasions has been a recurring theme you can relegate the friendship to the same priority level that she does. There is no reason for you to go overboard, always invite her to special moments in your life, always call her first, always be the first one to send her a message, and so forth. Give the friendship the same amount of energy. She will react in one of two ways. Firstly she will sense there you have changed and will want to know the reason. And secondly, she will carry on with what she has been doing without a care in the world. Either way, you will have a clear indication of your place in her life. 

To wrap it up

Being left out sucks but it’s not all doom and gloom when the reason is valid.  Let’s remember that people who are expecting a baby have what we call a “pregnancy brain”. Your friend might have even taken the fact that you are always there for granted and you don’t need an invite, or she could have genuinely forgotten. Whatever happened you can make the decision to stick with her during this time, or maybe do other things which don’t involve her, whatever you choose, be happy for her, a baby is a blessing.