What the hell is wrong with your friend? Or should I say, ex-friend? Why on earth is she going around the whole town talking about you? Hmmm.. is she bitter about something that happened? Did you say anything about her in the past?
Before I ask you a ton of questions, look at how to deal with an ex-friend who keeps spreading rumors about you…. deep breaths.
How do you deal with a toxic ex-friend?
“Dear Sindi, I never thought I would be the one writing about when a friend turns against you but here I am, I will keep it short. My friend and I have been friends since high school. She has always come from a chaotic family. My family has always been supportive. I am not pregnant and she has stopped speaking to me altogether. I don’t mind that but she is also spreading rumors about who the father of my child is. She knows that I am engaged but insists on telling everyone I don’t know who the father is. What to do if your friends gossip about you? And how do you deal with haters and gossip? I feel like this is supposed to be a happy time in my life but I can’t enjoy being pregnant and engaged with all these rumors about me going around,?“- Maca, Peru
11 ways to deal with a friend who is spreading rumors about you
The easiest way to deal with this your ex-friend is to ignore her. If the rumors that she is spreading are not malicious then don’t pay any attention to what she says about you. If things start getting out of hand you can tell her to stop or threaten to take legal action.
Find a new crew
Hello, why would you want to be friends with her after she spread rumors about you? Do you know how many people are on earth? Well… billions, there are billions of people on earth and I am sure that you can find at least one person who can be your friend. So put yourself out there and if you are not sure how to make friends you can download my free e-book, it has all the information that you need.
Threaten her with a lawsuit
If the rumors that your ex-friend is spreading will damage your reputation in such as way that you won’t be able to get a job or pursue your studies then scare her with a lawsuit, serious rumors can and will impact your chances of getting a job especially if you live in a small town. If your friend is going around telling everyone that you are a thief no one will want to hire you, because in their eyes you can’t be trusted.
Even worse what if she goes around saying that you cheated on your boyfriend? Can you imagine how that would make you look in his eyes? If the rumors that she spreads will damage your reputation, then girl, find your nearest police station.
Acknowledge that you are hurt
We can ignore the fact that you and your friend were once close so we are not going to. You have to acknowledge your feelings and admit to yourself that you are hurt. The easiest way to let go of a toxic friend and not be obsessed with her is to feel the feelings ( I know it sounds weird but you know what I mean). Don’t think about the good friend that she was, she is no longer a good friend she has become your enemy. You can’t run away from feeling angry, hurt, and scared, these feelings are normal and you have to internalize them.
Hold your head up high
Don’t you dare go into hiding, don’t let the rumors push you into exile, so continue with your life. Go on walks, go to the movies, lunch, drinks, everything that you love to do, you must continue to do it.
Accept that there is nothing you can do about it
When a friend turns against you there is nothing that you can do about it and besides, there is no law that says your friend can’t gossip about you because if there were jails would be full of millions of women and girls who gossip. Unless the rumor is harmful to your standard of living then you have to pay it dust, in order words roll with the punches, what I’m saying is leave it alone hopefully she will get bored and move on to something or someone else.
The same as accepting that there is nothing you can do, you can ignore her. Don’t say anything bad about her or tell everyone her deepest secrets. Ignoring her will give you peace of mind knowing that you were the bigger person, never waste your precious time.
Let it pass
There millions of rumors started every day and that’s because the lifespan of a rumor is very short. To keep a rumor alive people have to talk about it every day and unless you are a celebrity no one cares that much to talk about you. By the time a week has gone by, no one will care about what she said, most people won’t even remember. She has to be a real psycho to constantly talk about you.
Face her- head on
Sometimes we have to let people know who we are, and that we are not weak pushovers. You can ask to speak to her and ask her if she has been talking about you behind your back. Tell her how you found out she has been spreading lies and what she did was wrong. If she has done this, why? Ask her what her intentions are with these rumors.
Thank your lucky stars that she showed you her true colors, imagine if you had a major secret and this secret would either make or break you. If you were still friends with her you would have most likely told her your big secret, don’t be sad you have dodged a bullet.
Take everything in your stride
Instead of running away when people come to you and tell you the latest rumor that your ex-friend has said you can find unique ways of reacting, when people see that you don’t care they won’t come and tell you anything anymore.
Laugh about it
They say that laughter is the best medicine, and that’s true so learn to smile and laugh about it, you have made an impact on her in such a way that has made her somewhat obsessed, People who spread rumors about other people are secretly jealous, your friend wants to be you or at least have a role in your life, these rumors are her way to maintaining some connection to your world.
To wrap it up
Learning how to deal with an ex-friend who is spreading rumors can be tricky, on the one hand you want to confront her but on the other hand will confronting her make that much of a difference? You are the only one who can answer that question, but remember to send me a message and let me know how you handled this one, I want all the details.