There is nothing as heartwarming as attending your friend’s wedding, but what if she invites you and then suddenly you get a message that says sorry but I changed my mind, and you are not invited to the wedding? This is enough to break anyone’s heart.
But don’t let it get you down, take a look at these 10 possible reasons why your friend uninvited you to her wedding.
Is it rude to uninvite someone to a wedding?
Uninviting someone to a wedding is considered to be rude, that is why if you are not sure if you should invite someone, rather think the decision through and wait on sending out the invitations. If the reason for uninviting someone is not valid, then it is rude.
10 Reasons why you were uninvited to your friend’s wedding
She has too many guests that will be coming
This reason has been documented so many times, mainly because both the bride and groom have families and the mothers of the bride are notorious for inviting anybody and everyone. This could be the case and is not a reflection on you, she just simply needs to cut some people and you happen to be one of them.
The economy has everyone in a panic, so naturally, your friend and her husband want to save as many costs as possible. If each guest cost around $300 per head and they have let’s say 300 guests coming, this could prompt them to trim the numbers down to 100 people. If your friend lets you in on the situation and tells you it’s for cash reasons you could be invited to the bachelorette party but not the wedding. Getting married can be expensive and you don’t want your dear friend to start her new life on a tense note.
You are not in favor of the new relationship
A lot of the time we can have opinions about the person our friends should marry and sometimes they might not agree with what we have to say. I am not sure of the relationship that you have with your friend’s hubby-to-be, but if you are not in favor of them getting married, it should come as no surprise that your name was removed from the guest list.
She sees you as an ordinary mate
So ask yourself this question, if you were in trouble or had a personal emergency is the bride-to-be someone that you would call? Has she been there through your toughest trials and have you been there for her? The answer to this question will give you an indication if you are just someone that she is familiar with or a close friend. I should state that even if the two of you hang out regularly, this doesn’t mean she sees you as a confidant.
You are not part of the clique
The in-crowd, the mean or nice girl clique, reminds me of the popular movie called mean girls. Ladies can be cliquey, the both of you might have a great friendship outside of her clique. But if the entire group doesn’t like you, then guess what, your name is off the guest list. This is an open-ended situation and can be anything from you not getting along with the maid of honor or her family not wanting you there.
They are getting married too soon
I had an instance where a friend rushed too soon when it came to moving in with the guy, guess what, she didn’t tell me that they had moved in together. If this is a whirlwind romance, then your friend most likely knows your reaction if let’s say they have been dating for only three months. So she is moving too fast and you feel like she hasn’t taken the time to know the guy.
You like her previous boyfriend
I don’t have to tell you that we all have our favorites when it has to do with our friends. We have our favorite dress that we like, we even have our favorite boyfriend that she dated. If you still keep in touch or are friends with her ex, the new man could be under the assumption you are trying to stir something, a case of letting the past stay there.
She wants you to attend the ceremony but not the reception
A friend of mine was invited to a wedding and at the last minute the bride had to tell some people not to come because she was over the allocated budget. My friend told the bride that she actually couldn’t care less about the reception she loves the ceremonial part, and the poor bride was so relieved and invited her to the wedding ceremony but not the reception. If you don’t care about the food and drinks, there is no problem with letting her know you would just like to see them exchange their vows.
You want to bring extra people with you
There is nothing as off-putting as someone who wants to bring extra people to something that they have been invited to. Some people only invite the person that they know so this would mean your partner is not invited to the wedding if you have a family and the wedding invitation says that only two guests can come then there is no reason to bring your kids. They are not catered for and if this is the case then simply apologize and organize a babysitter to watch them for a few hours.
The groom doesn’t want you there
Now, this is not connected to you not liking the groom there could be an ocean of reasons he doesn’t think you should come. Maybe he doesn’t know you well. Have you interacted with him? Is the conversation relaxed or awkward, for him, you are not that close?
What do you do if you are not invited to your friend’s wedding?
Although it can feel like it’s the end of the world when this happens, it doesn’t have to be, here are a few solutions you can try.
3 Things you can do when you are uninvited to your friend’s wedding
When you are uninvited to a wedding besides accepting the couple’s decision there are very few things you can do, no one likes to have the old ‘I was uninvited to a wedding story, for your benefit we have 3 things you can do.
Talk to her
We have listed a mountain of possible reasons for you to be uninvited but the best answer will always come from the horse’s mouth. When she tells you that you are uninvited unless she is from outer space then she should come with a reason. If she sends you a text with no explanation and doesn’t respond when you reach out, give her the space and try a few times before the wedding, don’t be too desperate but reach out as best as you can, and if he still ghosts you, then she’s not the kind of friend you need.
Wish her all the best for the wedding and move on
Sometimes there is nothing that we can do or say or change someone’s mind, it’s her wedding after all and you don’t want to force your way to the guest list. I wouldn’t feel comfortable sitting there knowing I had to beg her not to uninvite me. If she has listed the reasons and you also feel it’s nothing worth talking over, congratulate her once more and keep it moving.
Think of it this way, yes your feelings are hurt but you get to save on buying a new dress for yourself and spending a huge amount on a wedding gift that might or might not be used. Don’t force the situation or you could end up being known as the uninvited guest. Take the money and book yourself for a spa day on the day of the wedding, and enjoy some pampering with a glass of your favorite champagne.
Do you give a gift if you are not invited to the wedding?
Yes, If the reason is valid like for example she uninvited you because of financial reasons or she had to trim the entire guest list and not just you, then you should give a wedding gift.
In addition, if you are invited to the church wedding ceremony you can give a wedding gift even if you are not invited to the reception.
How much do you give for a wedding if you aren’t invited?
If you are not invited to a wedding the amount that you give is totally up to you. For example, you can go according to the wedding registry, the amount depends on what you can afford, you don’t have to buy anything expensive gifts cards are perfect gifts to give so the bride-to-be can choose what she wants.
Weddings can bring out the best and worst in us, and there have been instances where you have the daughter not inviting the mother to the wedding or aunts not invited to the niece’s wedding. Being uninvited to a wedding can hurt your feelings, but if the bride-to-be has a valid reason, don’t make her feel guilty you don’t want to be the person with the ‘I was uninvited to a wedding but I forced her to change her mind’ story.