The time has come for your mom and boyfriend to meet, but the meeting was not your idea, in fact, you had no plans of getting them together anytime soon, well girl it’s time to face your fears or demons. It’s not that bad, the meeting could go great, but then again it could be terrible and your mom might end up hating your boyfriend, oops, I said it, she might hate him.
Let’s look at why your mom wants to meet your boyfriend and of course what you can do about it.
5 Reasons why your mom wants to meet your boyfriend
The main reason why your mom wants to meet your boyfriend is that she wants to know who he is and it’s her way of ensuring that you are safe.
She wants you to be safe
If I were your mom I would also insist on meeting your boyfriend, depending on how deep your relationship is with your boyfriend, you’re probably spending a ton of time with him. So most of your time is divided between, work, school, family, your friends, and your boyfriend. Out of all these things mentioned the majority of your time is most likely spent with him. Your mom wants to know where he lives, what he does for a living, or if is he planning on doing anything with his life. No mom in the world wants her precious child to be with someone who has no ambitions to do anything.
The meeting will give your mom a chance to vet his character, and moms are very good at knowing when something or someone is not good for you.
She wants to know what kind of a guy he is
I mean is he a gamer, a religious guy, a wannabe rapper, or a daydreamer, your mom needs to know if you will have a chance of having a great future. Finding out what kind of guy he is will also help your mom in figuring out what kind of family he comes from. To be fair your boyfriend can come from a dysfunctional background but that doesn’t necessarily make him a dysfunctional boyfriend.
It’s her job to keep you safe
She would not be your mom if she didn’t want to find out who your boyfriend is, I am sure you would also be asking yourself if your mom cares about you. Imagine you are dating your boyfriend for 5 years and your mom just carries on with her life without a care in the world, she sees that you are in love but never asks you anything, that would be strange.
You have been dating him for a while
There comes a time in every woman’s life when she has to introduce her boyfriend to her mom, it’s a right of passage you cant avoid it. If you have been dating him for at least one year and things between you two are getting serious then I agree with your mom, it’s time to do the introductions.
You have been acting strange
Have you looked at your behavior? Are you sneaking out of the house or no longer talking to your family because you have a boyfriend? If this is you then your mom wants to get to the root cause of your sudden change, this will help her see if your boyfriend has had a direct influence on your changed demeanor. But be warned if this is the case your mom will come out guns blazing with a lot of questions for both you and your boyfriend.
A word of caution, the meeting between your mom and your boyfriend could go either way your mom might or might not like him, in that case, you can read our post about what to do when your mom doesn’t like your boyfriend, just breathe.
Okay so let’s look at what you can do to make sure everything goes smoothly
8 Things you can do when your mom wants to meet your boyfriend
Tell your boyfriend what to expect
Girl take the same to brief your boyfriend about your mom, do not skip this part he has to know what to expect. If your mom is not what we can call a nice person and the way she conducts herself is serious you have to let him know this and tell him not to take offense if she seems cold or disinterested it’s who she is.
Give him a set of questions to ask your mom
To avoid your boyfriend sitting there and looking all lost like Spongebob Squarepants the least you can do is give him a set of questions to ask your mom. Don’t make the questions too personal there is no need for your boyfriend to know who your mom’s first boyfriend was or the first time that she had sex. Eww, those are too personal, have him ask her questions about you preferably a question like: “What kind of a child was she when she was growing up?” You, you see it shows that he is all about you.
Bring a friend or sibling for support
I hope you have an outgoing sibling because they always come in handy in these types of situations. Bring a close friend or a sibling to help break the ice, you need someone who also knows your boyfriend even if they haven’t met him your sibling or your friend knows you and they can continue asking questions and making the atmosphere enjoyable.
Make the meeting as short as possible
This might go against what a lot of people suggest but I highly recommend you keep it as short as possible. The reason is that it is the first time that the two will be meeting, and the number of awkward silences and tense moments will be enough to make you want to run away. A short meeting is enough for your mom to see that you are not taking a creeper and is enough contact time to make the next meeting go as planned.
Tell your mom what kind of a guy he is
Well, he is your boyfriend and you know him best don’t let him drown in your mom’s presence. Give her the low-down on what kind of guy he is. If your mom is the loud outgoing type and your boyfriend is the opposite, tell your mom to keep her loudness for when she is at home.
Meet in a public place
Yes, public places are great because you can at least talk about passing strangers when you are sitting at a restaurant or staring at your drinks. Gosh, I hope you guys don’t do that. Just go to a public place for some reason that always works out.
Make sure he is dressed well
You want him to make a good impression right? Well, make sure he keeps his gangster look for when your mom is not around. This doesn’t mean he should arrive wearing a black and white suit, keep it casual but neat.
Keep the alcohol for after the meeting
Ya, if you know how uncontrollable your boyfriend gets after a glass of wine it’s not a good idea to order any booze, but in any case, do you think is wise to be with a guy who can’t control his drinking?
When should my mom meet my boyfriend?
While there is no perfect time for your mom to meet your boyfriend, the meeting should happen when your relationship is past the three-month stage.
Should your parents meet your boyfriend?
Your parents should meet your boyfriend only when the relationship is serious, you shouldn’t introduce your boyfriend to your parents until you have been dating for a least 8 months and want to be together for a while.
You are probably worrying about nothing, everything can and will go well, you can take control of the situation but make sure that both your mom and boyfriend are prepared and leave the rest to the relationship Gods, you’ve got this.