So you bought your first car or are living close to your mother, you might even still be living at home, life is perfect except you are getting sick and tired of being your mom’s driver, chauffeur, or whatever. The only problem is that you don’t know how to tell your mom that you can’t drive here everywhere, your main worry is that she might feel offended, I mean after all, you are her precious angel.
Lucky for you we have been there and done that, if you are fed up with being “the good” child we have 6 things you can try when your mom wants you to drive her everywhere.
6 Things you can do when your mom wants you to drive her everywhere
If your mom wants you to drive her everywhere you can give her transportation alternatives, book her a cab or organize a lift cub. You must only drive your mom around when it’s convenient for you, if you don’t have a choice ger her to contribute to the upkeep of your car, she can pay for things such as fuel.
Help her find alternatives
Ask yourself, is my mom aware that there is alternative transportation this day? Maybe she is not aware that she doesn’t have to bother you. These days your mom has a lot of options, you can look into booking a cab driver for her, but it will be even better if you download an app like uber and get her to familiarize herself with it. With so many options available your mom won’t bother you as much.
Helpful tip: When you speak to her highlight the fact that she will come and go as she pleases and she won’t have to wait for you.
Have a positive discussion
Your main aim is to find a solution to this and still be your mommy’s favorite child, have a few points written down before you discuss so that you don’t lose focus of your main arguments. Give your mother a chance to also state her side of things, now is not the time to bring up things you did for her in the past, this will make her go on the defense, only focus on the issue at hand and give your mom a chance to speak.
Helpful tip: Having a positive discussion will give you an insight into your mom’s thought process. Don’t be surprised when you find out that your mom loves the fact that you have a car, she is proud of you and this whole experience might be a novelty to her.
Work out a routine
If you can’t get around driving your mom around, you can work out a routine that is suitable for both of you, but mainly you. If your mom needs to be dropped off somewhere at a certain time and the time clashes with something that you have to do, then ask her to adjust her leaving time. You can take her an hour before or an hour after whatever it is that you have to do. To ease the burden from you, if you can’t take mom everywhere, negotiate to transport her four out of the seven days of the week,
Helpful tip: Plan things and let your mom know that she has to be ready when it’s time to leave, I know most moms are guilty of getting ready last minute (not all moms), but this can cause you to be late or not do what you intended to.
Give and take
When it’s all said and done, this is your car, and owning a car comes with a lot of responsibilities. With the price of gas and inflation having a car has become a huge expense. Maybe you can ask your mother to help you pay for gas, if you have to drive her around regularly every week, she can contribute a small amount at the beginning of each month. If you don’t want her to do that, you can drive her around and ask her to help you pay for a large expense maybe a set of new tires or your next car repair.
Don’t be afraid of asking your mom to contribute gas money, this will also give you an incentive and motivate you to drive her around and keep up with your end of the deal.
Helpful tip: There are many ways that your mom can help you, If you don’t want her to give your money, you can ask her to assist you with something that is not car related, if you have children give her extra days of babysitting, or ask her to pay for an educational expense, whatever you decide, it’s all about giving and taking.
Practice tough love
I know that she is your mom and she means the world to you but if you driving your mom everywhere is making your life difficult and your find that you can’t do your things when and how you want to, your solution might have to be practicing tough love. Now, not all is doom and gloom you don’t have to cut her out of your life, you just have to lay down some ground rules.
This means only driving your mom when its an emergency, this can be in different situations like when she needs transportation at night, when her regular transportation is not available or at the end of the month when she has to buy a lot of groceries, these are perfectly good situations to drive your mom around.
Speak to your father
If you speak to your father he might be able to shed some light on why your mom wants you to drive her everywhere, he is also the perfect person to speak to your mom and tell her to arrange her car rides without making her feel offended or getting you in trouble.
Helpful tip: Ask your dad to speak to your mom and tell him not to mention that the two of you had a discussion, he must pretend that he came up with the thought on his own. When he is speaking to your mom he can start the conversation with something along the lines of “ You know I was thinking” and he can continue from there.
If your father can’t speak to your mother, you can ask a relative or one of her friends to do it, but remember it must look like they thought of the idea and not you, so remind them to make the conversation their own.
“I am a recent college graduate and I just bought my first car, my mom expects me to drive her everywhere, even if I am busy. To be share she only asks me to drive her around when I am not busy. I love my mom and I don’t mind driving her around but I am starting to accumulate extra miles on my car. I am also tired of going to places I don’t want to because she asks me to take her. I want to tell her how I feel but I am scared of what her reaction might be, she has done a lot for me, and I don’t want to sound ungrateful but driving her everywhere is starting to take a toll on me”.
Buying your car should give you peace and convenience, navigating a mom who wants you to drive her everywhere can be tricky, your best solution would be to negotiate and find common ground, and work out a schedule that works well for everyone.