My daughter is a doctor, these are the words your mom wants to tell everyone she meets, her precious child is saving lives. She dreams of saying this one day, but it’s not your dream, it’s not who you are, and it is not what you want. So what can you do? Do you disappoint your mom and choose another career path or suck it up at medical school for five-plus years with the hopes that you will eventually like it?
This is a tricky dilemma, your mom wants the best for you but at the same time you cant imagine helping sick patients and spending a lot of years in a career that you don’t like, so why can’t your mom support you? We have 7 Genius solutions to this, be sure to read until the last point so that you know what to do.
7 Things you should do when your mom wants you to be a doctor
When your mom wants you to be a doctor but it’s not something that you want to do you should talk to her and make her see that this would be the wrong career choice for you. Highlight your talents and strong points that would be suited for the career of your choice. If she insists that you become a doctor come up with a plan on how you will support yourself.
Understand her motives
Does she want you to be a doctor because she couldn’t become one? Does she like the title of doctor but has no idea of the long hours you will have to spend in medical school not to mention the trauma of seeing patients who are not in excellent condition?
Take the time to see it from her point of view, she is your mother and knows you even better than you know yourself at times. She could know that you have hidden talents that you have not explored, she may see the potential in you that you don’t see in yourself.
If this is the case she cares and wants doesn’t want you to miss out on what you could have been, this could be her way of preventing you from making mistakes.
If she only likes the name and title and that is all that she cares about then she needs to be called to order.
Agree for now
One way to keep her quiet is to agree for a short while so that she can stop nagging you about it and you can come up with a plan. Agree, smile, and take in whatever she tells you. But after doing all of that you need to map out your future, you can see that your mom is hell-bent on you getting a medical degree, so there is no way that she will support you in another chosen field unless you manage to change her mind. But we are working on the assumption that she won’t change her mind. So agree with what she tells you so that there is peace and harmony in the house.
Do your research
Before you hate the idea of being a doctor have you done your research? Being a doctor doesn’t mean you only operate on patients or that you are a general practitioner. There are many professions in the medical field such as nurse, pediatrician, and therapist. Maybe you will find an area that sparks your interest. Don’t turn her suggestions down until you have done enough research to fully know that you don’t want to become a doctor, not now, not ever.
The least you could do is take sufficient time and come up with a proper counter-argument that you can give her instead of saying no I don’t want to do it with no information backing you up.
You can also volunteer at your local hospital or in the field that you might be interested in, you can also volunteer in the field your mom wants you to take so you can see what each profession would be like.
Finding out all of this information is easy you can research how to be a doctor and all the information will appear but it’s not limited to one type of doctor, you can look up how to be a surgeon, how to be a dermatologist or how to be a cardiologist and start from there.
You never know what type of doctor you can be if you are thinking “ what type of doctor should I be?”, you should approach your local hospital or health services and they will guide you.
Come up with a backup plan
Okay, so assuming that you have done all that is in your power to make your mom see that you want to do something else and you have talents that you want to explore and she still is not interested in you becoming anything other than a doctor, then girl its time for a plan B. At this stage, you should have enough resources to do sufficient research.
Find out what academic financial support is available for students, you can also look up scholarships and bursaries that fund students for four years. You must also keep in mind things such as accommodation, where will you live if she decides to kick you out?.
Some bursaries also fund student accommodation, you must ensure that you do not fall back on your studies or all of these financial assistance opportunities might be taken from you.
Give her the latest information about the profession
Does your mom know that doctors do not earn as much as they used to? Things have changed and yes, being a doctor is still a somewhat safe profession but if she thinks you are going to be a millionaire right out of university then she has another thing coming.
Not to mention the hundreds of thousands of dollars in student debt fees, the stress, and the pressure which might cause you to repeat a semester and that adds onto the bills. Residency can be anything from 3- 8 years, then you still have to do your practicals and might not get a job.
Is she prepared to support you until you get on your feet which could take a long time? You can show her the salary of someone who is a doctor and what they make to give her an example.
Highlight your strengths
Tell your mom what you are good at, it would even be better if you tell her what the latest career trends are, and show her how you have adapted to these. So many careers have evolved and a lot of people make more money than doctors.
The career that you show her must include how much you expect to earn and a backup plan if it doesn’t work out. You must also show tell her your weakness, your mom might not be aware that you are struggling in certain subjects that will be required to get into medical school.
Find a good time to talk to her
Talking to her when she is angry, annoyed, or when you have done something wrong is not the right time to have a chat, talk to her when you can see that she is in a good mood. But don’t just talk to her, come prepared, have a file, a binder, or whatever it is that you keep the information about the career that you want to do in. She will see that you mean business and that you have thought all of this through.
What do I do if my parents want me to be a doctor?
Have an honest conversation with your parents and tell them that being a doctor is not for you, and have a backup plan that will ensure that you continue your studies in the field that you have chosen.
Why Being a doctor is not for you?
If you know that you cannot handle pressure and carry the responsibilities of making sure people survive.If yous suffer from anxiety and are an empath then being a doctor might not be the right choice for you.
How do you know you shouldn’t be a doctor?
If you dislike the sight of sick people, if you cannot handle the pressure of being on call, and if you are also not a people person being a doctor is not for you.
In closing
The real question you should ask yourself is do you want to be a doctor? Think long and hard about this, you can be a doctor and pursue passions outside of the profession. Your mom probably wants you to have a secure future and not have to worry about employment. Instead of thinking negatively and saying to yourself my mom wants me to be a doctor but I don’t, you should think about what your mom wants for you, maybe she doesn’t want you to make the wrong career choice. If you want to be a doctor, then do the research, if not be honest with your mom, her response might surprise you.