Here we go again, your mom is back at it, telling you all her problems, crying, whining, and making you feel so awkward, but wait, aren’t you the one that is supposed to do the crying, and whining? Why has she taken your spot?
So why does your mom treat you like a free therapist, when she could ideally be going to a trained one who is going to get paid for listening to all her yapping? Here we have a few solutions you must try and let’s hope your mom gets it together.
8 Things you can do when your mom treats you like a therapist
If your mom treats you like a therapist you can tell her to seek professional help for her emotional instability and in the meantime, you should look after yourself and do the things you love.
Ask for professional help
A Your mom could need someone who will be able to tap into the emotions and get to the root cause. A trained professional will also be able to put her on the proper medication to help her, her mood swings could be affected by anything, menopause, aging, anxiety you name it, and unless you have a degree in psychology you won’t be able to deal with it.
And there could be many reasons for her treating you like an emotional punching bag, this post on the reasons why your mom treats you like a therapist will tell you why she is doing it, so so be sure to look at it.
You don’t have to do this alone you can either ask your family to help you convince her to speak to a professional or you can ask them to be there for her to shoulder the burden of her treating you like a therapist.
Establish a network of people who will be there for your mom when you can’t or when you need a break, and have your aunt or siblings shoulder the responsibility.
Okay, deep breath in and out, your mom is not crying because she lost a toy or could not get tickets to a Beyonce concert, I can guarantee you that she is crying to you because she cannot handle the pain of keeping everything bottled up, sure it feels strange but still, she has reached her breaking point. Give her some leeway and listen to her while you seek some help, and in any case, listening may help you in the future when you see your mom going through certain issues now you know what not to do when you grow up.
Block it out
You should block it out when you have done everything in your power to get her some help, you have spoken to a professional, got her time off from work, and tried to make her happy and she still shows no signs of improving or doesn’t seem to want to change. Your job is not to fix your mom, your name is not the fixer, well even if that were the case that is still not your job.
How do I block it out?
Good question, we are not talking about putting on headphones and blocking it out, we mean to continue with your life, go and live your best life. So get into relationships, go out with friends, and move to a new city or country if that is what you want. You can look into hobbies and things that you can do outside of your home, in other words, you have to keep it moving or time will escape you. Before you know it 20 years will have gone by and you are still living in your mom’s house afraid to do anything with your life because she needs you to be there and you are not sure who she will talk to. Phew, it’s a lot but you get the point.
Contact the authorities
No need to be dramatic here, there is no need for the FBI or flying air squad, that is going way too far, talk to your local authorities. Luckily for you, most countries have what you call adult protective services or social workers who deal only with adults.
Why should I call the authorities?
Well if your mom is a basket case and it is starting to affect your life, you are so worried about her that you have stopped going to school or work you can call the authorities. In addition, maybe you have younger siblings and they tell you that your mom is crying in front of them you can call the authorities.
Look after yourself
Remember to treat yourself, if you love going to the spa don’t stop going to those lovely massage dates that make you feel good about yourself, and the fact that most spas provide champagne is a bonus. You need to find your mojo without her and that means doing what makes you well, you.
Seek help for yourself
Living with a mom who treats you like a therapist is not easy, and can affect you in ways you can never imagine. It’s important to also see a trained professional so that you can not only have someone to vent to but you can make sure that the way your mom is treating is not something that you will also do to your children, kind of life breaking the cycle of emotional instability. Children who have moms like yours tend to float through life with a lot of undealt baggage which is often passed onto other people, so you see why you need to go to therapy?
I am not sure who said this but whoever came up with the phrase “you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge” was right. Your mom might be crying and breaking down but maybe she doesn’t know that you feel this way. Tell her your emotional batteries need some charging. Give her other options, tell her someone like your pastor, or one of her friends would be the better option and they will most likely give her great advice, way better than anything you could ever say.
Learn how to react
Ask yourself is she acting like this because she has every reason in the book to? Is she crying out of frustration because you never do what she tells you and this is her way of dealing with things? If it’s something that she has been telling you about for months and this outburst is out of frustration, then you should start thinking about doing what she wants you to do.
To wrap it up
Maybe you are good at giving advice who knows, perhaps you are the next Dr. Phil but when it comes to your mom you should draw the line, or your mom will end up telling you her private things that no child should ever hear. Your mom knows that what she is doing is not on, it’s what we call parentification and can hurt how you or your siblings navigate through life.