So your mom expects you to keep the house clean, make lunch, make everyone breakfast and vacuum the whole house, phew that sounds like a lot. When will you get the time to relax and just be yourself? All these expectations are making you feel more like a maid than her daughter, and you end up asking yourself “why doesn’t she hire someone to do all of these things?”
Cleaning, cooking, and taking responsibility for your siblings are rights of passage that everyone must go through once in their lives but not to the extent that it leaves you feeling like Cinderella.
Let’s look at 8 solutions you can try when your mom treats you like a maid.
8 Things you can do when your mom treats you like a maid
Look at things from her perspective
This is her way of training you to take responsibility for your life, one day you will move out and live on your own. And guess what? You will have to do all the cooking and washing up all by yourself without your mom being there to remind you. Use this time to take it all in and learn as much as you can. Look at it this way, if you cook for everyone this will help you develop your cooking skills and in the end, you will save a lot of money because instead of buying fast food you will be able to cook everything on your own.
In addition: Your mom might have a lot of responsibilities, I can be you that it’s not her intention to make you feel like a maid but she might have no choice. If you live in a single-parent house and you are the firstborn child then you are old enough to assume some responsibility. Your mom probably works very hard for all her child and a little help here and there will go a long way.
Divide the household chores
Now is the time to train your younger siblings, the least they could do is pitch in when they can, unless they have a physical disability then they can help you. Let’s say you have to wash a ton of dishes, while you are doing the washing ask your younger siblings to do the drying.
Pro tip: You can play some music in the background to keep the mood in the kitchen fun, or maybe put on one of your sibling’s favorite TV shows and talk about it while he or she is helping you, trust me it will make the time go faster.
Create a cleaning schedule
When you create a schedule, the amount of responsibility you are taking on becomes much clearer, your mom may see that she has given you too many responsibilities and might tell you not to do certain things.
If that doesn’t happen, creating a schedule is still important because you will be able to plan what you do and on which days, so make sure the schedule includes some chores for our siblings.
Make the cleaning fun for everyone
Make cleaning and taking care of the house a habit, so that you don’t end up feeling like a maid. Make the entire process fun and rewarding. You can ask your mom to help you come up with ideas like prizes that she can give to your siblings when they do what they are supposed to do.
Pro Tip: Your mom can have a weekly prize for the sibling who has kept their room clean or who has helped you out the most. The prize doesn’t have to be anything big, she can buy a box of chocolates or candy, something the winner can share with everyone.
Only do your part
Suppose there is no schedule and you are the only one who does anything in the house, then only do your part. If that means eating and washing only your plate, then do that your family will take notice and that will be your opportunity to tell them how you feel.
Pretend as if you can’t hear her
Well do this at your own risk because a lot can go wrong with this, it sometimes works but not always. If you are really fed up, and you have tried to speak to your mom and she still doesn’t understand then it’s time to pretend as if you can’t hear her. If you are in your room and she calls out your name, you can act like you are asleep ( it doesn’t always work but it’s worth a try).
Ask a relative for help
Do this when you feel like you absolutely can’t handle it anymore, and you are feeling the pressure. At this point the responsibilities that your mom gives you are starting to make other areas of your life suffer such as school, friendships are work. Asking a relative for help can make your mom not only see but understand the toll that cleaning, cooking, and doing everything is having on you.
Pro tip: Ask your relative to speak to your mom in a non-confrontational way, when your mom is in her most relaxed state is when your relative should speak to her.
Look for a new place to live
If you have the money and are going to be able to take care of yourself without asking anyone for help then moving out could be the end of your problems. Moving out should never be a decision that you take lightly or at the spur of the moment, take your time to consider the implications of what moving out can have.
Being treated like a maid or a servant can make you feel like no one cares about you, and it affects the way you do things. But try and look at it from your mom’s point of view, everyone has gone through the phases where their mom asks them to do everything, I remember my mom saying things like “bring me the remote, pour me a glass of juice or go and wash the dishes”, it happens to everyone, the only time that you should raise the alarm is when it starts to interfere with the things that are important to you.