So your mom is not a regular mom, she’s a cool mom, kind of like one of the mommy characters in the movie mean girls. There is no denying it can be a lot of fun to have a mom who lets you party, can talk freely to you about dating, and doesn’t mind when you bring your boyfriend around. Heck, I would also agree, she is a cool mom.
With a mom like this, you might have grown up saying to yourself my mom is my best friend, because of how strong the relationship between the two of you is, and let’s face it because she let you do what you want.
But how friendly is too friendly when it comes to this relationship, Is your mom your friend, and has she forgotten how to be a mom? Is its okay that she treats you like a friend? Don’t you want that mother-daughter relationship where you are treated more like a daughter than a friend?
4 Pros of having your mom treat you like a friend
You can communicate without feeling judged
You can say whatever you want without feeling like you are being judged. You won’t have to filter your feelings and restrain yourself, these are some of the good things about having a mom who treats you like a friend, for the most part, you have the green light to communicate the exact way that you would with your “normal” friend.
You get to know who she truly is
Friends tell each other stories, and these stories are often told in a cozy manner, sharing ice cream, wine, and a box of tissues. Your mom may open up to you about the personal problem that she faces or problems that she faced in the past because that’s what friends do.
This is awesome for you because you get to gain a deeper understanding of your mom, so often we tend to view our moms as just moms and nothing else and forget that they are people just like the rest of us.
She can be a good friend
When your mom treats you like a friend well, she becomes just that a friend. You can go out on movie dates, gossip about the couple in front of you standing at the checkout line, and best of all you can call her to tell her about your mean boss and how unfair she is, and your mom can act like a friend, mostly reassuring you about how right you are and giving you tips on how to deal with a mean boss, that what friends are for.
Your bond is strengthened
Your relationship with your mom can only improve and your mommy-daughter friendship grows. If you are over the age of 18 then her treating you like a friend would be considered to be acceptable, I mean girl you are 18 and an adult. But, if you are under the age of 18, your mom must hold off on the celebrations it’s not yet time for her to say to herself I’m not like a regular mom I’m a cool mom, so she needs to put on her mommy hat and put down her friendship hat until the right time comes. ‘
5 Cons of having your mom treat you like a friend
You might be scared to express yourself
Now that you like having a mom who is cool, telling her how you feel can be hard for you to do. For example, suppose you hate her boyfriend and you want her to break up with him, because you have this cool friendship going on telling her how you feel can be near impossible.
There is no one to act responsibly
Sure you might love it when your mom treats to like a friend a doesn’t police you but if she tiptoes around you, how will you respect her? As her daughter you need to have a little fear of your mom in you, we are not talking about being deathly afraid of her to the point of paralysis, but when you are a little bit scared of your mom because, well duh, she is your mom there are some things you wouldn’t dare do.
She can let you get away with everything
The reason why mom-daughter relationships work is that they have healthy boundaries, it becomes different if your mom is your BFF. Imagine your mom letting you have your way, that means she keeps quiet when you bring different guys to the house, and it can mean she might keep her lips zipped when you fall pregnant. I am not sure about you but this is sounding more like the irresponsible mom than the cool mom.
She can share too much information
It’s one thing to have a great friendship with your mom and share secrets but it’s another thing when she tells you the intimate details of her love life, ewww. Do you want to know when what she and her boyfriend Brad, do when you are not at home? This can also hurt you, because you now have a friends with mom relationship and not a traditional mother-daughter one your mom can end up treating you like a therapist, and we all know how that might tune out.
You won’t have time to spend with your friends
Unless you don’t have friends of your own hanging out with mommy dearest can be a bit of a drag. You want to spend unsupervised time with your true friends to who you are not related too. Yes, it’s fun for the first few weeks,s but your mom will always be your mom no matter how hard she tries to be your BFF.
3 Solutions you can try when your mom treats you like a friend
Have a heart-to-heart conversation with her
Well, she is the one who started this so going straight to her will be the right move to make. If her treating you like a BFF is starting to affect your mental health and the relationship boundaries that you two have then have a chat.
Pro Tip: Remember to be kind to your mom, she may have no one to talk to and you might be her only friend.
Help her find friends her age
This would be the sweetest thing that you could do for your mom. Why not ask your group of friends to help, you would be surprised when you tell your friends that your mom needs to make friends her age, some of them might tell you that their moms also don’t have friends, and bingo you have a solution.
Do some things but not everything together
We are not saying ditch your mom completely, what you need to do is establish healthy boundaries, so take her out every other weekend, but you shouldn’t overdo it.
Should you treat your children like your best friend?
You shouldn’t treat your children like they are your best friend, mainly because the lines of authority and be blurred, your children need to see you as someone they can trust and turn to but at the same time as someone who maintains authority because they need to learn to toe the line and this can be hard to do if your children see you as a friend.
Why parents should not be friends with their child
When a parent is close friends with their child it can lead to oversharing of information. There are some things that children don’t need to or have to know about when it comes to their parents and vice versa. Having a friendly relationship with your children before they are mature can lead to unnecessary emotional baggage and responsibilities for the child.
To end it off
So you are asking yourself can a mother and daughter be friends? Of Course, they can, should you be friends with your mom? If you are over the age of 18 or better yet in a position in life where you have established your individualism then go ahead and make your mom your BFF. There is no denying that the bond between mother and daughter needs to be cherished for eternity, when it starts at the right time it can be magical.