Friendship drama we can’t live with it and we can’t live without it, friendship groups are complicated, you can all be a group of four friends, and two of the “friends” might not get along. It can sometimes get tricky, what happens when one of your friends wants you to stop being friends with someone? What do you do?
Wait a minute, it doesn’t have to be the end all be all, check out a list of things you can do when your friend wants you to stop being friends with someone, phew girl, there is so much drama.
7 Things you can do when your friend wants you to stop being friends with someone
Tell your friend not to put you in that position
You shouldn’t even be in that position, to begin with, what kind of friend would make you choose one or the other? But here we are, begging and forced to choose. The first step you should take is to tell your friend not to put you in that position, you can explain to her that you value both friendships and that just because she doesn’t get along with your other friend doesn’t mean you don’t.
Here is what you can say to her: “I really don’t like it when you put me in such an awkward position, I love and enjoy spending time with the both of you. I understand that you do not like ‘Sarah’ but she hasn’t done anything wrong to be, be fair and don’t ask me to choose”.
Try to get them to get along
Wouldn’t it be great if you arranged a nice lunch and invited both of them? They arrive at the lunch and all of you discuss what has been happening. And at the end of the lunch, all of you hug and kiss and have a good old jolly time? It’s a lovely thought, right? Well, it doesn’t just have to be a thought but an action that you can take to try and resolve it, who knows an intervention might just be what the group needs.
Helpful tip: When you arrange the friendship intervention, don’t tell them that the other will be at the lunch so that no one backs out. In addition, it will go even better if you can involve the other friends in the group so that you have some backup.
Ignore what your friend is asking you to do
You are an individual and responsible for your thoughts and actions, unless you want to stop being friends with the other person you can ignore what your friend is telling you. If she asks you if you are still friends, you can change the subject. It will be even better if you could ask her how she would feel if you asked her to stop being friends with someone, girl you can ignore her if you wish.
Drop both friendships
This scenario reminds me of middle school when we used to be jealous of each other’s friendships, “ wait she is my friend”, “ no you wait she is my friend” and you would be left standing there with your lunchbox and juice box in hand not knowing what to do.
Okay back to the situation at hand, I can tell you with almost one hundred percent certainty that if these two people really do not like each other this will never end. Get-togethers will not be fun, instead you the person in the middle will be left with the pressure of pleasing both sides and this is not even your fight, to begin with. When the pressure gets too much from both sides and you find yourself not enjoying either one’s company, take a break from both of them.
Help tip: Before ending both friendships, make sure that you have another group of friends or support system that you can spend time with so that you do go back to both of them and end up looking like a bozo.
Stop being friends with the friend who wants you to choose
Making you choose between the two of them is a form of manipulation and it doesn’t help anyone in this situation. When she tells you to stop being friends with the person she dislikes and you do it, you are kind of giving her control over an aspect of your life. If you bow down and give in, who knows what she might ask you to do next? Friends shouldn’t guilt trip, bully or control each other, you can stop the friendship right here if you wish to do so.
Here is what you can say to her: “ I have tried as hard as I can to not take sides in this, in addition, I think I have proven time and time again that I love you even though I am friends with both of you. But this situation has forced me to look at our friendship. You have put me in a position that I don’t like to be in, It’s not right, and hanging out is not as fun as it used to be because of the pressure that you put on me to end the friendship with Sarah. For now, I think you and I should not spend time together. I hope you understand where I am coming from”.
Stop communicating with the other friend
Now a lot of people would say it depends on how long you have known both of them. But in my honest opinion, the length of a friendship doesn’t determine factors such as trust, loyalty, and so forth. But if you feel that your friendship with the other friend (the one who is forcing you to choose) is more important you can stop being friends with whomever she tells you to.
Helpful tip: Before you end the other friendship, think about the friendship in its entirety. Ask yourself questions such as, has the other person done anything to me? Is this whole this justifiable?
Continue the friendship with the (other) friend
Your friend is not the boss of your life, even if you are under 21 she still doesn’t have a right to dictate who you spend your time with. If you want to continue the friendship with the other friend, then do so.
Helpful tip: You can still be friends with both of them, the easiest way is to not talk about one friend with the other, separate the two friendships when you will one friend talk about issues that are related to you two and do the same with the other friend.
At what point should you stop being friends with someone?
You should stop being friends with someone when the friendship no longer serves you. Some people end friendships because they have drifted apart, but other factors are bullying, manipulation, or lack of common interests.
As an adult you get to decide what to do and who to talk to, heck even if you were eight years old you would still have the freedom to pick and choose your friends. If two people in a group are fighting, unless you are directly involved it doesn’t have anything to do with you. Your friend’s behavior is borderline controlling and is a display of power, this has the potential to spiral into something more if you do not deal with it from the onset. Whatever you decide make sure it makes you happy, good luck.