Oh no, the worst thing that could have happened has happened. Your BFF and brother have started having Goo-goo eyes for each other, and you are not having it. Don’t worry I have some solutions you can try.
When your friend starts dating your brother it can feel like a betrayal, friends are people who we consider to be like family. When this happens it does not have to be the bon voyage of your friendship.
5 things to do when your friend starts dating your brother
If your friend is dating your brother then you should set boundaries, and maintain a clear framework of how things should work. Do not interfere in their relationship, respect the fact that they are old enough to make that decision.
For you to balance the relationship between your brother and your friend you have to set some strict boundaries. You must tell your friend to not disclose anything that you two discuss with your brother. He doesn’t need to know about your failed relationships or your broken heart. This also goes for information about your brother, the last thing that you need to hear is how your brother is good in bed, oh no, dreadful thoughts.
These boundaries can save all of you from a lot of miscommunication and unnecessary information going back and forth. Furthermore, you have to have separate time with them without the other one hanging around. If you are having lunch with your friend then your brother cannot request some romantic time, this is your time. The same goes for your friend, if you are spending quality time with your brother, she can’t steal him away from you. Set those boundaries.
Tell them how you feel
This is the most safest and reliable way to move forward, telling them how you feel will keep the lines of communication open. Don’t keep things bottled up, the truth is your friend broke one of the most important girl codes which is “thy shall not date your friend’s brother” or something like that. Your brother also needs to know under no circumstances is he allowed to date another friend if this relationship does not work out.
Don’t get involved in their fights
Unless you want to be hated, do not ever get involved in their fights. As you know couples fight all the time, people break up and they make up again. Getting involved in their fights will have you choose which side to be on. The last thing that you need is for them to fight and you get involved and lo and behold, they get back together.
Distance yourself from the friendship
If you are finding it hard to be around the new couple in love then distancing yourself is a good idea. Tell both of them that you need time to process things ( distancing yourself might not be possible if you stay in the same house as your brother), but you can do this will your friend. Creating a bit of distance will give you the time to process things and look at them from a different perspective.
Find a new group of girlfriends
Okay, this is the last resort. If the relationship is honestly not sitting well with you then you can find a new group of friends, or hang out with some old buddies. Who knows, you might find a new friend that you will become close to. You don’t have to wait for them to break up, continue to live your life, have fun and hang out with other people. This is a good way to create a social life outside of your close relationship with your friend.
One of the reasons you might not want your friend to start dating your brother is that you are the only person who knows them both well.
You might be thinking I don’t want my friend to date, my brother, because of the following:
She has a bad dating reputation
Yes, you might be thinking, this is my friend, I know her, we hang out and she has a bad reputation when it comes to dating. You might have also dated in the same circles. You are thinking of your brother, and depending on what kind of friend you have you might be saying to yourself “ but my friend is not a good match for him”.
He has a bad dating reputation
Oh, that’s it, he is your brother and no one knows him better than you do. You might also be thinking “I know my brother, he is bad with women”. In this case, you feel that your friend might be suited for someone else.
I feel let down by my friend
Feeling betrayed by a friend is completely normal, especially in this situation. This makes everything awkward. Being betrayed by your friend in some cases may signal the end of the relationship. The issue is not that your friend has a boyfriend, but that the boyfriend so happens to be your brother. Who knows how long they might have been eyeing each other? In some cases that is a non-spoken rule, “Siblings of friends are off limits” It’s kind of like dating within the family depending on how close your friendship is.
My friend has changed
You might be asking yourself is it normal for friendships to change? The answer is yes. It is normal for any friendship to cool off once one party gets involved in a relationship, that is just how life works, It’s normal for anyone in a new relationship to want to spend a lot of time with their new partner, this might be the case in your situation.
This is nothing to feel bad about, If you approve of the relationship then give your friend some time to get used to being with your brother. If this distance bothers you so much, then raise it with your friend, and make it clear that you don’t want pity, you just notice that things are different.
Take all of these things into consideration, if both of them are good people I mean what is the worst that can happen, your best friend might just become your actual sister, in this case, you have gained and everyone wins.