I want you to tone your body, I want you to look like an Instagram model, wow, slow down there is this how your boyfriend speaks to you Why is he obsessed with you toning your body Are we missing something? This is your body, not his?
Toning your body is something you should do because you want to and you will be able to be consistent not because your boyfriend has a fantasy of your body looking more toned. But is he right? Do you need to tone your body?
Darling, here are a few reasons why your boyfriend says “I want you to tone your body” and what you should do about it.
My Boyfriend Wants Me To Tone Up (5 Reasons For This)
There are several reasons why your boyfriend wants you to tone up such as: He wants you to feel good about your body, he feels like you will look better toned up or he has unrealistic expectations of how your body should look.
You are overweight
I know it’s hard to look at yourself and say I am overweight or I have lost myself. But the sooner you admit that the better. He might want you to tone up because you are indeed slightly overweight or you have some loose skin, there is nothing wrong with that.
You always complain about your body
If you always complain about your body your bf might have subconsciously taken in all that complaining that you do and is fed up with hearing it. You might be spending a good part of your day complaining and saying things like I am fat and disgusting, I am fat and ugly, I hate myself or help I am fat and need to lose weight. Well, guess what if you keep on repeating all of these things it’s only natural for your boyfriend to come up with solutions and suggest that you tone up.
You were thin when he met you
Relationships are so cute, you start dating and you fall in love but the love results in what we call relationship weight. It’s so common for both males and females to gain a bit of weight when they are in relationships.
You are not exempt from this, maybe you used to have a firm and toned body and now your boyfriend is concerned that you don’t look toned anymore and that is what he is saying.
He has unrealistic fantasies
This could be for several reasons, he might have dated a girl who is a certain body type or a gym freak who spent all her days at the gym getting her body toned and firm. He is saying this because he has unrealistic standards or expectations that you will be just like his ex-girlfriend.
He is a Buffon
When a man wants you to change your appearance and forcefully reminds you and says things like he thinks his ex is prettier than you or you should tone up or else he will lose interest that’s a red flag. Men who are jerks otherwise known as Buffoons are good at playing the comparison game.
They do this because they want to keep you on your toes, always anxious, and always looking for ways to please them because they know that women love to be in relationships. Don’t play into this, recognize that he is a moron and do your best to keep it moving.
My Boyfriend Wants Me To Tone Up (8 Solutions You Can Try)
If your boyfriend wants you to tone up there are several things that you can do such as: Tell him how this makes you feel, go to the gym and try toning up or do what makes you feel comfortable, if you don’t want to tone up you don’t have to do it.
Try it out
My boyfriend wants me to go to the gym…. I mean what’s the worst thing that could happen if you happen to tone up and go to the gym? The good thing is that going to the gym can and will improve your mental health and your body toning up is a bonus. It’s a win-win situation on your part.
Don’t put pressure on yourself
When your boyfriend approached you and asked you to be his girlfriend he knew what you looked like unless you met at some face mask party and have never taken off your masks ever since. Jokes aside, he saw you and asked you out knowing that this is how your body is.
It doesn’t matter if you have put on weight since the beginning of the relationship because if you have been dating for a while, he should not want you to be someone you are not.
Don’t pressure yourself to conform to his body standards and timeline; it will drive you insane and make you want to eat even more, trust me we have all been there. If he has changed, if he keeps searching a girl on Facebook or if he is obsessed with Instagram models that’s on him, if he puts pressure on you, then maybe it’s time he hits the road.
Learn to handle criticism
Darling if you are overweight then you are overweight, is hard to hear but if you are over your BMI and you walk around heavy breathing huffing, and puffing you need to do something about it, as your older sister I need to tell you the truth.
It’s hard to hear that you must lose weight, and go to the gym to tone your body, toning is not the issue, the only issue comes when you are overweight for your height.
Criticism does it always come from a wrong place. We take offense when we are criticized about something we know we should work on or something attached to our identity, so learn to be open to a little criticism.
Put him in his place
Does his body look like Vin Diesel or The Rock? Is he fit and toned? Or does he want you to go to the gym and he remains all flabby and all over the place? If he has not stepped foot at the gym what gives him the right to tell you to go to the gym and tone up?
Put him in his place by saying something like” I will tone up when I want to, you also do not look toned so why are you putting pressure on me?”
Go to the gym together
Couples who gym together stay together, well not really, I just made that up, but seriously going to the gym together can be a good bonding experience. He is the one who suggested that you should tone up so why can’t he do it with you?
Ask him to be your gym accountability buddy so you won’t slack off and think, My boyfriend gets mad at me for not working out, the responsibility will be on the both of you.
Make this a nice bonding experience and get him to do some of the workouts with you, what harm can this do? Right?
Do what feels right to you
Darling if you don’t feel like toning up then you don’t feel like toning up. If doing all of this is not what you want then don’t do it. You will waste money paying for a gym membership and have you seen how much a gym membership at Planet Fitness costs? That’s a lot of money. Tone up with it feels right to you.
Tell him how you feel
If he is obsessed with some photoshopped skin then you need to tell him how you feel, it’s unrealistic on his part to expect your body to be smooth, I mean does his body look good? Talk to him and tell him how this makes you feel.
Don’t take it to heart
He might have a point, maybe you do need to tone up, maybe you lost some weight and your body could do with a few firming exercises. You might be thinking “So does this mean that my boyfriend wants me to change my body ?” No, it doesn’t, but toning your body can boost your confidence especially if you have lost a dramatic amount of weight.
Is it okay for your boyfriend to comment on your weight?
Your boyfriend might have good intentions but if he does make you feel bad about yourself you should let him know how you feel.
What to do when your boyfriend wants you to lose weight?
You should listen to what he says and see if he has valid points because if you are overweight he may be concerned about you. If you are happy with your body you must do what feels right to you. The only time you should lose weight is when you want to.
Does weight really matter in a relationship?
Weight can affect a relationship because it affects the types of people who are attracted to you. And your weight can also influence the kinds of activities that you and your partner will be able to do. The more overweight you are the harder it will be to do things as a couple such as hiking or mountain climbing.
Losing weight for boyfriend or toning up for a boyfriend should not be the reason why you go to the gym. So listen to what he has to say and if you think he has good points then take it one day at a time. Tone up when you know you can commit to the process and never let anyone make you feel bad about your body.