Baby you need to see a therapist, you need professional help…Ouch, how dare your boyfriend say these words it’s no wonder you are here. No one wants to be told they need to see a therapist, especially by your significant other. It’s almost as if your boyfriend is saying you are a bit crazy.
But Darling this is more common than you think, so relax you aren’t alone many boyfriends and even husbands have told their partners they need to see a therapist. Everyone has some sort of emotional or mental dilemma they carry around, most people continue life just fine without therapy.
When your boyfriend tells you that you should go to therapy, what does he mean? Are you telling him too much? Is he looking for an escape plan and is using therapy as an excuse, what should you do about this?
My Boyfriend Wants Me To Go To Therapy (11 Things You Can Do)
If your boyfriend wants you to go to therapy you should keep an open mind and consider the reasons why he says this and if his reasons are justifiable then therapy is something that you should consider even if you only go for a few sessions.
Understand that is normal to have issues
He said I need therapy, well darling, do you? seriously it’s normal to have issues that you need to sort out there are millions of people in therapy as we speak. You are not the first person who will go to therapy and you most definitely will not be the last.
Maybe the thought of a therapist makes you feel embarrassed because therapy is associated with the word shrink. You don’t have to be, it’s normal to need mental help, what’s not normal is to walk around carrying heavy emotional baggage that will impact your relationships.
Get to the root of the problem
Okay, he thinks seeing a therapist will help you but with what exactly? Do you have anxiety, are you borderline bipolar, do you lie about everything, do you burst out shouting or crying or are you having a hard time having sex with him because of past trauma? What exactly is the issue? When you have the answer to this you will be able to find the solution and get help.
Watch out for warning signs
Keep your eyes open for red flags, those small signs that tell you that your boyfriend is gaslighting you into thinking that you need therapy. If your boyfriend has done something wrong he might say you need to see a therapist because he is diverting from his behavior.
Ask yourself Is telling someone they need therapy gaslighting and do you have issues and you need to see a therapist, or is your boyfriend a narcissist who treats you like you are stupid? Not only that, is he manipulating and playing mind games, duping you into thinking that you need therapy meanwhile he is the one who needs to get his act together?
Consider his feelings
He told me to get help…yes he might have told you this because he doesn’t know what to do. Your boyfriend is your boyfriend and even if he treats you like a princess he has a limit to what he can put up with. So ask yourself if you rely on him too much, if all you do is tell him everything and you expect him to listen and provide you with a solution.
Emotional baggage dumping because of what happened in the past can take a huge toll on the person who has to listen. Your boyfriend might not say this but he might be worn down by whatever it is that is going on with you. If you burden him too much with your anxiety depression or other issues think about how all of this is making him feel.
Try it out
Don’t knock it till you try it, even if you try it once go. No one is saying that you must go forever, a few sessions to see if this is for you is enough. If anything it will help you get a load off some of the issues and secrets that you have been holding onto that no one knows.
Sometimes we need to talk to people who are not biased or emotionally connected to us to get a different take on things. You can tell your therapist anything and no one will ever know, you see therapy is not necessarily a bad thing.
Consider the outcomes
If you use him as your unofficial therapist he might end up with a negative image of you, because all you do is trauma dump this might make him think that all you do is make everything about yourself, and you are not interested in getting the help that you need, all in all a selfish person because trauma dumping affects the person talking and the person who has to listen.
Don’t burden him too much
Whether you decide to go to therapy or not, the both of you decide to continue dating or not. In the future try not to offload too many emotional issues onto him. He has suggested that you go to therapy because he feels like he is not the right person to deal with your mental and emotional stability.
Take care of your mental health
If you are dead set against seeing a therapist or you still feel insulted by the suggestion do other things in the meantime. You can do Yoga, meditate, or read a book that will help you understand your emotions and past issues. Use Google as a guide and search for terms like yoga classes in Phoenix or yoga classes in Santa Barbara, the location must be specific to your area.
Don’t get offended
It’s easy to get offended when your boyfriend says ” I think you need to go to therapy” It can make you feel like this crazy person and it’s almost as if it’s an attack on you as an individual. Try to see things from his perspective.
If you honestly have deep-rooted issues that you know you have been burying inside and walk around on autopilot don’t take this as an offense. It doesn’t mean you will be admitted to Bellevue Mental Hospital, it just means you need help and quite frankly we all do.
Tell him how you feel
Don’t hide how his words have made you feel otherwise it will spiral out of control. You might never be able to enjoy your time with him because you might become so self-conscious when you are around him, you might be afraid to do or say anything that will make him think you need therapy.
Say to him” I appreciate your concern as my boyfriend, and I value your opinion but please give me time to deal with this, I will go to therapy when I am ready and deal with whatever issues that I have for myself”.
Keep him as a friend
Sometimes relationships don’t work out but if the damage done is not too big former couples can remain friends. No rule of law says once a romantic relationship is over you cannot remain as friends.
If he thinks you need therapy and you don’t think so or you want to sort out your issues in your way or you don’t believe in therapy this can be a deal breaker. This means you might not be compatible and that’s okay, Sometimes former romantic partners turn out to be the best of friends.
Is it OK to ask your partner to go to therapy?
Yes, it is okay to ask your partner to go to therapy if you feel this will help not only their mental state but improve your overall relationship, You should approach this with love and patience.
Will therapy help me in my relationship?
Therapy can help you and your partner understand each other better, talking to someone who will give you an unbiased opinion will help both of you see things from different angles. Therapy can help you communicate your feelings clearly and find common ground as a couple.
What does it mean when someone tells you you need therapy?
It means that they have observed your behavior and you may display certain behaviors that lead this person to think you need therapy, behaviors such as loss of motivation, quietness, isolation, rage, or irritability.
So darling Is it rude to tell someone they need therapy? This depends on what your definition of rude is. Relationships are not only about loving our partners, but loving ourselves if you feel offended by his suggestion let him know this. Try not to be offended if your boyfriend didn’t care about you he would not suggest that you see a professional in his defense this is most likely coming from a place of love because he sees your internal or external struggles.