My Boyfriend jokes about my appearance, girl has your boyfriend knocked his head upside down and woken up not knowing where he is? I don’t know you but I do know that no woman in the world is ugly, even by society’s standards, oh darling never mind what Cosmopolitan magazine says about ” how to look like the most beautiful woman on earth” they do not know what they are talking about.
But I have to be honest here If my boyfriend said I was ugly, I would be saying “Nice to have known you, goodbye” but you are not me. Your boyfriend could have said, “Oh, your eyes are big” or “Your nose is wide”, but he chose to tell you that you are ugly
Joking about someone’s looks seems innocent enough but not when you are in a relationship, so it begs the question, why is he with you if he thinks you are ugly?
8 Reasons why your boyfriend thinks you are ugly
Your boyfriend thinks you are ugly because he wants to hold you back, if repeatedly he says that you are ugly this is his way of crushing your self-esteem so that you don’t leave him for another man.
He wants to hold you back
This is his way of saying “No other guy will love you besides me” a way of making sure that you do not cheat. His saying you are ugly is him trying to condition you in a sick and twisted way, he wants you to think that he is the only option that you have. Men who say these things to women want them to be subservient and feel inadequate.
He did not mean it
With so many hormones running through our bodies as women, it’s no wonder we overact at times. How did he say that he thinks that you are ugly? Do you think that he meant it? Or was this said when you put on a dress or applied your makeup in a way that did not look flattering? All these points will determine if your man is like the awful character called Mike in the movie Why Did I get married? Remember how he treated his wife Sheila?
He is setting you up for when he cheats
This whole “ I think you are ugly” could be a setup for when he cheats, if you worship the ground that he walks on and he knows it, this could be his way of saying “ I think that you are ugly, so if I cheat I have a right to”. Think of it like this, when he cheats on you he now has a great excuse to say something like “ Honey, I told you you are ugly, are you going to blame me for cheating?”.
If he cheats with a woman who is “hot” in the eyes of society it can affect your self-esteem, you might jump from one relationship to another thinking that you are ugly and accepting any relationship crumbs that you get.
He wants you to have no self-esteem
For some reason, men are intimated by women who look like they have it all. So in your case, you might have a good job, your own car, and your own house so by all accounts, you are winning in this game called life. Now he on the other hand might not have been so lucky or focused or he may be unhappy about himself for where he is in life. He can’t take away your education, your car, or your house, but he can take away your self-esteem until you have nothing left.
So that is why he will “attack” your self-esteem, he is a grown man and he knows that women are usually self-conscious about their looks. Men who think like this want you to know that yes you can have it all in every area of your life, but you are not all that in my eyes. Your man is clever, all men are, it’s in their DNA, and they know what to say and when to say it. All of this mind play will have you doing what he says when he says it, and how he says it so that you can make him see that you are not ugly.
It’s all in your head
Okay, let’s assume that this guy didn’t say that you are ugly and that you may have misinterpreted a comment that he said and now you have it in your head that you are ugly. Maybe you have issues with how certain parts of your body look or maybe he didn’t give you a compliment when you bought a sexy new dress from fashion nova, once again we are digging deep to try and find some sort of excuse as to what could have happened. So think back to the situation and ask yourself if it’s all in your head.
He wants to see your reaction
Once a gain if this is his thinking he wants to get a feel of how you will react so that he knows which angle to tackle you from. If you overreact then he will know that you have self-esteem issues, and he will use that for whatever mind games he wants to play. However, if you don’t respond or you respond in a way that shows you that you have high self-esteem and you don’t care if he thinks that you are ugly, he will know to back down.
He has no self-confidence
One of the biggest signs of a man who has no self-confidence is the way that he puts others around him down. Sort of like “ I have no self-confidence and you look like you do, so I will bring you down to my level so we can all be depressed about ourselves”
When you have no self-confidence your anxiety will always be on high, you will have no peace of mind, girl it can be exhausting, and you will most likely spend your days thinking “Why does my boyfriend not look at me much? Oh yes, it’s because he thinks I am ugly”. That’s no way to live, think about it, instead of enjoying being in a relationship, or going on romantic baecations the majority of your time will be spent with you thinking of ways to “keep him happy” because your self-esteem has hit rock bottom.
He doesn’t find you attractive
Whoo, Darling but why is he with you? When he approached you he had his eyes wide open he knew what you looked like. If he wants a Gigi Hadid why did he ask you out? it’s not like you had a mask on when he asked you to be his girlfriend he know what he was getting himself into.
To be fair, your relationship might have been one of those that start like friendships, so maybe you guys were friends and then you fell in love. So in the beginning he fell for the real you and by all accounts he could still have deep feelings for you but you might not be what he is used to dating physically.
5 Things you can do when your boyfriend thinks you are ugly
When your boyfriend says that he thinks you are ugly you should think about the future of the relationship, your relationship will not flourish or last if you have a boyfriend who constantly puts you down.
Get a new boyfriend
It sucks to have to put yourself out there again and meet a new dude who might or might turn out to be a douchebag. You don’t have to get a new boyfriend if this situation is a once-off thing. Guys tend to joke a lot and they sometimes say comments they don’t mean. If this is the case then don’t leave him but make sure that he knows to never say that he thinks that you are ugly, he can keep his thoughts to himself.
Don’t obsess over your looks
What he said might affect how you conduct yourself in the future. If you know that things like makeup and hair extensions are not for you then don’t force yourself to look like someone you are not. If he makes a comment saying he thinks girls with big butts are hot and you don’t have a big butt, this is not the time to google Brazilian butt lift, have you seen the botched Brazilian butt lift before and after pictures? Changing your looks is not something you want to do in the heat of the moment.
Speak to him
Before you dump him, which I suggest that you immediately do, ask him why he said that you are ugly, like we speculated he could have been pulling your leg. But if he “pulls your leg” one more time with the “I think you are ugly” joke, then you know that he means it, and you should get away from him.
Think about future relationships
Don’t stay in relationships that make you feel bad about your looks. Just because he thinks you are ugly, I can bet you another man will think you are beautiful, beauty is subjective. You know when you and your friends used to discuss if Brad Pitt was hot, some of your friends might have said no he is not hot and you might have thought he is good-looking.
Work on your self-confidence
If you have issues with the way that you look, even if you leave this guy every relationship that you have will not last because you don’t think highly of yourself. If you think that you are ugly then do something about it. Fix what needs to be fixed, go to the gym, get your teeth fixed, get a boob job, or do anything that will help boost your self-image.
Because you love him and don’t want to break up with him your “girlfriend” mind will automatically default to trying to find excuses for why he called you ugly. Your mind will try to justify it by coming up with excuses like It’s not bad, He called me ugly during a fight, it’s how we do things. You can even go as far as saying My boyfriend roasts me all the time and It’s okay My boyfriend called me ugly as a joke so I am fine. Next time he might insult you in front of his friends? Then what? will it still be seen as a joke?
How to tell if my boyfriend thinks I’m ugly
There are a few ways to tell if your boyfriend thinks you are ugly, a few signs to look out for would be if constantly compares you to how other wome look, if he wants to you change and look a certain way, if he never gives you compliments, if he doesn’t kiss you or show affection and if he let’s you know that he thinks that you are ugly.
What to do if he calls you ugly?
If a guy calls you guys you don’t have to see or talk to him again, move on and make it clear that you don’t want anything that has to do with him.
To close it off, Darling
If you are tired of him saying that he thinks you are ugly then leave him. You do not want to seem like those whiney girlfriends who go around telling everyone My boyfriend makes me feel insecure about my looks, people get tired of hearing that. A real man will raise his girl, just like Josh Grobanns “ You raise me up, so I can stand on the mountain” ..The point is a man who loves you will think you look like Scarlet Johanson even if you are not. Girl, save yourself, before you find yourself online doing those dreaded ” Does my boyfriend think Im ugly quiz” But that’s not you, because you are a Darling.