When your boyfriend says that you are too quiet in bed it could mean that he thinks you are not enjoying what he is doing even if you are. Being intimate with him means communicating effectively, maybe you are shy, scared, or don’t know how to express yourself.
Have a look at why he says that you are too quiet, and look at all the solutions that we know will work, fingers crossed.
My Boyfriend Says I’m Too Quiet In Bed (7 Odd Reasons Why)
Your boyfriend says that you are too quiet in bed because you don’t express how you feel. When you don’t tell him what you like he might have the wrong impression and think you are unhappy and unsatisfied when you make a noise that might give him an indication that he is doing something right.
He thinks you are not enjoying it
When making love, noise is often associated with enjoyment, if you are not making some sort of sound then the person that you are being intimate with might assume that he is not doing a good job.
Think about it this way, if you and your boyfriend are being intimate and he doesn’t look at you when you make love you might automatically think two things: one that he is not enjoying the process or two that he doesn’t love you.
You do nothing in bed
When you and your boyfriend make love you stare at the ceiling counting down the minutes to when it will be over or you even periodically ask him when it will be over. Your love-making language consists of you keeping as quiet as a mouse and doing nothing but lying on your back. If this is you then it’s no wonder he says that you are too quiet he wants you to be more active.
He watches a lot of adult videos
Back to unrealistic expectations, adult movies can be to blame because they show an unrealistic view of how couples make love. Most couples have a quiet love-making process but adult movies will tend to show an exaggerated view where the woman is very wild and does everything.
They also show the man in an unrealistic manner where he takes control and makes wild passionate love to the lady and they have a jolly fire night. We know that is not the case for most people. If he watches too many adult movies this might be the case.
He feels under pressure
That male ego again, always wants to be stroked, your boyfriend might have some doubts and your being quiet is affecting his ego and self-esteem. To him, your silence is an indication that you don’t want him to do what he is doing and that you don’t enjoy any of it. You might be enjoying everything but because you are quiet he feels inferior.
He doesn’t know if he is doing it right
Making love is all about communication. You need to whisper to him what you like and what you don’t like and the same goes for him. When you are silent and don’t say anything, how will he know that what he is doing is right?
You have undiagnosed trauma
Sex is one of those activities that make us aware of our traumas, for example, if you grew up in a highly religious home and sex was something that your parents told you that you had to wait to do until you were married your subconscious mind might be at play.
Every time you are intimate with your boyfriend your subconscious mind automatically goes back to the conversation that you and your mom had when she basically said “Don’t you ever have sex before marriage.
Moaning turns him on
Moaning might be the thing that turns him on and gets him to finish so when you keep quiet it demotivates him. Lots of things may turn your boyfriend on. He might want you to be more aggressive in bed in a good way and be vocal so that he gets excited.
My Boyfriend Says I’m Too Quiet in Bed (8 Fire Solutions)
If being quiet is your love language then continue to keep quiet as long as you are not doing so out of ear. Tell your boyfriend that even though you are quiet it doesn’t mean that you are not having a good time. Try to also give him a few signs that you are enjoying the moment like kissing him, or whispering to him.
Teach him your bedroom language
If you don’t like being loud but you still enjoy being intimate with him let him know your love language. Not everyone will be wild in bed and swing from the ceiling. If you don’t like being dramatic and that is not your thing tell him your love language is to be quiet and enjoy the moment.
Let him know when you are happy
Try to understand where he is coming from. If you don’t want to say anything when you are intimate let him know after you guys are done. If you are shy send him a text saying “ I love you, last night was amazing” Adjust the text to what feels right to you.
Try to be a little vocal
Come to a compromise you don’t have to scream at the top of your lungs but whisper something to him once or twice when you are making love. It doesn’t have to be a long sentence. You can say something like “ I love how that feels” and go back to enjoying the moment.
If you hate screaming you don’t have to scream, if you hate moaning you don’t have to moan, don’t force things otherwise it will take you out of the moment and you will just end up not enjoying anything. If making a noise feels unnatural, do what feels natural to you and let him know beforehand.
Educate yourself about intimacy
There are a ton of books that you can read about making love. If you are stuck, do a quick good search and type books about intimacy self-help, books about intimacy for couples, or best books about love. All of these should help you find a resource that will make you feel comfortable enough in your body and be vocal enough to let him know what works best for you.
Find a private location
If you guys are being intimate and you live with roommates I understand why you are silent, I mean you don’t want everyone to know that you are getting some love from your man. It’s understandable, so look at being intimate when the roommates are not around.
I don’t know how that is possible but I will leave that up to you. You can also let him know that this is the reason why you are not wild and free and screaming at the top of your lungs, he should understand
Let go of the guilt
Everyone has sex, even our pets, dare I say that my fur babies are having way more sex than I am, it’s pathetic I know. But darling let go of the guilt if you are over the age of 18 you are old enough to decide to have sex or not.
Sex is not unnatural if it were you wouldn’t be here. It’s a good and natural activity that two consenting adults do and is made to be enjoyable. Once you let go of your guilt you will find yourself automatically relaxing, smiling, screaming, and having the time of your life.
Give him other signs
You don’t have to moan loudly, how about pinching him very softly or spanking him very lightly? Heavy breathing is also a good sign that you are happy you can also rub his back or kiss his neck.
Should I be loud in bed?
You should be yourself in bed and do what feels natural, listen to your body and all the signs that it’s giving you. If being loud feels right in that moment do so, but do force it. Communicate with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t.
To wrap it up
As long as you are enjoying yourself and you are not keeping quiet out of fear have some fun. Making love is such a wonderful thing to do and you should be yourself without any fear. If keeping quiet is your thing then by all means continue to keep quiet.