My Boyfriend Says I’m Lazy In Bed (Reasons & Solutions)

Lazy in Bed? What does he mean when he says you are lazy? Does he expect you to be energetic all the time when you have sex? Does he want sex to happen for hours on end? At this point, it could be anything.

Before you drive yourself crazy with worry we have narrowed down the reasons why your boyfriend thinks you dont do anything in bed, and of course, we have surefire solutions for you to look at.

My Boyfriend Says I’m Lazy In Bed (4 Reasons Why)

If he says that you are lazy in bed it’s because he feels as if he is the only one who is doing the work when the two of you have sex. He might not be happy with the way you express yourself, your body language might also be stiff.

You never initiate

How often do you initiate sex? Is it one every two months, six months, or even a year? If you dont initiate anything and expect him to do all the initiating this will not only leave him feeling unwanted but he will think that sex is not something that you want from him.

He might not think you are lazy when the two of you are intimate he could have meant that you never initiate anything and wait for him to make the move.

You like doing the same positions

What do you like in bed? Are you happy with your boyfriend doing all the work and you happily lie there doing nothing? Are you a vanilla girlfriend? Vanilla means that you only do the missionary position. You dont like doing anything that will take you out of your comfort zone.

When he suggested that you climb on top of him you refuse, scream shout, and end the session right there and then. If he wants you to be more aggressive in bed and you dont want to that’s fine If you dont like trying extreme positions that’s fine you dont have to, but keep an open mind because intimacy is not only about you but the both of you.

You tell him to hurry up

For you, sex is not something you do for fun, but rather something you do because you think that is what you are supposed to do as his girlfriend. When the two of you are busy in the bedroom you say to him “ Hurry up, finish already” or you say “ I will only give you 5 minutes hurry up”. Can you see how this can make you look? It’s almost as if you don’t want to do it, and it comes across as being lazy.

He does all the work

Maybe you love being with him and making love, but when it’s time to do the deed you do absolutely nothing. This is one of the signs of a lazy lover in bed. You dont even take his shirt off let alone kiss him. Your poor boyfriend attempts to make everything enjoyable for you but your lack of participation, action, and activity gives him the impression that you are lazy.

My Boyfriend Says I’m Lazy In Bed (7 Things You Must Do)

Speak to him about what he means when he says you are lazy in bed, and come up with a workable plan on how the two of you will solve this. Dont do anything that you are not comfortable with, you can also read books on sex education to give you more insight on ways to have bedroom fun with your boyfriend.

Educate yourself

If you are lazy because you dont know what to do use Google to find information that will help you. There are plenty of things that you can do and using online resources should be your first stop.

You can even check out the comedy series called sex education on Netflix, it’s extremely funny and explores the awkwardness of discovering your sexuality. Google has wonderful search terms that you can use such as sex for couples ideas, sex for couples Tumblr, guided sex for couples, and even role-playing sex for couples.

Get over your fears

If the thought of sex makes you uncomfortable then you should try to find a trained professional to talk to. Being intimate is supposed to be a happy part of your life but if you feel guilty or think it’s a dirty thing to do you need to seek help.

You might not even be lazy it could be your subconscious playing tricks on you and you might be sexually repressed without even knowing it. So search online for what is sexual repression and you will find search terms such as how to overcome sexual repression, how to fix sexual repression, and well as sexual repression Christianity. These terms will help you figure out if you have any issues to get over.

Get out of your comfort zone

Maybe it’s time to get out of your comfort zone and think of what gets you off. If you are thinking ” I want my boyfriend to spank me“, by all means, ask him to. Your sex life might be a little too tame for you and you might be shy to try anything new.

Why not look into fun sexy games for couples and even phone sex for couples? You can start by sending him sexy flirty messages and see how he likes it. But dont over do you, it will be weird if you go from shy and reserved one day to an adult bedroom star the next, so take it slow.

Tell him to please you

He needs to do more than wish upon a star that you suddenly be active and vibrant. If he barely does anything to make you happy and ensure that you are satisfied it’s no wonder you dont want to do anything in bed.

I am not saying that he should do all the work, but we know that females take a long time to reach orgasm. He needs to at least spend time making sure that you reach your peak. Send him a few Google links such as how to make a woman orgasm or how to make a woman climax.

Focus on foreplay

You can’t go from hugging and then straight to the bedroom so spend a little time on foreplay. This means touching each other, whispering in each other’s ear, and looking at each other in the eyes. All these things play a role in making the occasion special and should do wonders for your energy.

Have an honest conversation

Say what you mean and mean what you say, if you want him to make more effort in the bedroom tell him. You must also listen to him because it’s not only about you. So try to find common ground and see what will work.

End the relationship

We can sit here the whole day thinking of solutions but if you are not feeling the relationship there is no point in any of this. If you have a low libido and are happy with it and you dont want to change it then maybe he is not the one for you. Do yourself and him a favor because both of you deserve to be with people who match your libidos.

In the end

You have to speak to him to find out what he means and what he wants, if his expectations seem reasonable and you are comfortable with them, go ahead and try new things. But remember laziness is subjective, and you might meet a man who doesn’t think you are lazy in bed and is fine with the way you do things.