Can we take a moment to pause did you say my boyfriend says I talk too much? Well, darling do you? Does he have a point? Are you a chatterbox girlfriend who has to tell her boyfriend everything, every minute of the day?“So Stacy and I did this, and at work, Mark told me to keep quiet, my mom wants us to go to her house, I feel bloated, I am so tired”……If you do Whooo slow down darling. But is talking too much a bad thing?
Absolutely not, darling, you can talk as much or as little as you want, but why does the love of your life say this, do you think that you talk too much, or is your boyfriend a buzz kill who loves to sit in silence and wants everyone around him to be just like him?
It can be difficult to navigate relationships, especially communication issues, here are a few things that might give you insight as to why he says you talk too much, and of course, you have to look at the solutions because you must sort this out.
6 Reasons why your boyfriend says that you talk too much
Your boyfriend says that you talk too much because he feels like he doesn’t get a chance to say anything, you sometimes make everything about you, and that makes him feel like you don’t want to listen to him.
He is not the one
Just because he is your boyfriend doesn’t mean that you are compatible you might have been great together at some point in the relationship but that has changed because people change, In the beginning, he might not have minded you talking a lot because he was putting on a front to look good in your eyes.
He wants to tame your personality
You will always be too much for a guy you are not supposed to be with, that’s how dating goes. You might have everything going for you a good job, doing well in school a great circle of friend and everyone love to be around you. But not for a guy who wants to tame your personality, I’ve met a lot of guys like this, for him telling you that you talk too much is a way for him to assert some form of control, to make you question yourself and dumb down who you are, he knows telling you this will affect your confidence and make you question yourself, and yes you might have a narcissist on your hands.
He doesn’t want to be bothered
Now this is not a “you” problem it’s a male problem it’s in their DNA, men generally are taught not to be expressive and grow up a little quieter than females. It’s a known fact that females are the talkative species and men are more non-verbal and sometimes don’t want to be bothered.
You always talk about yourself
Maybe you unknowably make everything about you, We know that this man loves you and he probably treats you like a princess but darling maybe he thinks you talk too much because you always talk about yourself, have you stopped to think about how his day was, what he did, and what he didn’t like? Or do you only spend 5 minutes and then change the subject back to you?
You always talk about the same thing
Hearing about the same conversation over and over again is only cute the first two times and then it gets really dry. Are you talking about how boring your day was at work, are you talking about how jealous your sister is, or how much you hate your university lecture? Hearing about the same topics over and over again is not nice. Maybe try to change the topic and see if he still thinks you talk too much.
He wants to make you anxious
This can be a ploy to destroy your self-confidence so that you dumb down your personality, in other words, he wants you to be highly anxious and high alert when you are around him. When he says that you are talkative it can negatively impact your psyche, you will always be afraid to speak up and concerned about how many words you are saying, it’s a highly anxious, toxic, and mentally destroying state to be in.
9 Things you must do when your boyfriend says you talk too much
There are two things that you must do when your boyfriend says you talk too much: The first thing to do is to be open about how this makes you feel and come to a mutual agreement on the communication aspects of your relationship. Secondly, take constructive criticism and be more aware of how you interact with others and give people a chance to speak to that you are not always dominating the conversation.
Be open with your boyfriend
This is the most practical thing that you can do, be open and say everything that you want to say, darling tell him that what he says will make you feel self-conscious around him, making you pick and choose what you say and how you say it, ultimately making you lose interest in the relationship.
Practice listening to him
Maybe you feel the pressure to talk because your boyfriend is a quiet guy who barely says anything. Try proactive listening, you don’t want him to say that you are boring so give him the chance to share how his day went without feeling the need to finish his sentences or interrupt him.
Keep some things to yourself
Sure enough, he is the man that you love and you want to share everything with him, but in his defense hearing about the same thing over and over again is a brain drain. If you have a problem that you can sort out yourself do so or tell your friends about it, get a journal and write your thoughts down, or even start a podcast about a random topic, do anything not to offload too much onto him.
Ask people about him
If push comes to shove and you want to be with this man for the rest of your life, then get a third opinion you don’t have to see a therapist but do your research about him. Ask his friend, coworkers, or family about him, they have known him the longest, and for all you know he has always had a problem with everyone who is talkative so the problem might not even be with you.
Never change for a man
Out there is a man who will love to hear your long stories about how your best friend betrayed you and how much you hate your mom’s new hairstyle, there are billions of people in the world, you don’t have to change who you are because the one you are with hates to hear you talk. If you change who you are and say less, how will the right man who loves to date women who never stop talking find you? Use this as a lesson on how uncomfortable you are willing to be in a relationship, we know that you love talking so get a man who loves to hear a lady talk.
Give him one last chance
Okay, it’s not like there are millions of guys out there who are worthy of your love( I know what I previously said, don’t come for me) and the dating pool has become more like a dating pond filled with dead fish. If you look at your relationship in its entirety and you feel that this is the only issue that you have then it’s worth a second glance. Tell him he needs to come to terms with your talkative nature, it’s not like you can brainwash yourself to keep quiet and why should you, speak your mind and give it another go if it feels right?
Take this as constructive criticism
Maybe your boyfriend doesn’t mind you talking for ten hours when you are only with him but, he might say that you talk too much because when you are in public you never give other people a chance to speak. In this case, don’t be offended use this as an opportunity to improve your social skills, ask him to give you little cues and gestures when you go out to let you know that you overdoing it.
If talking makes you happy darling keep talking as long as you are not talking over your boyfriend or anyone, why would you want to go through life afraid of talking, it doesn’t work like that. If he is not the only one who has told you that you talk too much then maybe be aware of how much you talk and how much you let other people get a word in.
Set him free
Do you honestly see yourself with a man who makes you so anxious that you have to count your words? A man who makes you panic because you have said too much, is that even a relationship? Darling the right man won’t think that you are a chatterbox, he will love all your stories and everything that you have to say.
What does it mean when a guy says you talk too much?
When a guy says you talk too much it can mean one of two things: He doesn’t like and is not interested in what you have to say, or you always talk about the same topics.
How much talking is too much in a relationship?
Couples must strive for an equal amount of talking time, but men generally are non-verbal, so a balance of 45/55 is considered normal.
To finish it off
You have two options you can continue with the relationship mincing your words and keeping a record of how many things you have said and become anxious or you can find a boyfriend who won’t mind you yapping away. Reach a workable conclusion and remember that when a man says you talk too much it can be the beginning of a controlling relationship and is not to be taken lightly.