So your boyfriend is a somewhat lazy guy who doesn’t mind smelling funky from time to time, I say somewhat because he only showers once a week so that does count for effort, right? Showering is an essential element of basic hygiene, who wants to walk around smelling like a funky doll?
We have several solutions on What to do when your partner doesn’t shower? But first, read what one of our readers had to say. She wrote in and said My boyfriend only showers once a week, what should I do?
My Boyfriend stopped showering
“Hello, Her Darling life. I am a little bit irritated with my boyfriend, he is a good guy and our relationship doesn’t have any major issues but he only showers once a week. I come from a family that prides itself on things such as how we look and education so every time I have to bring him around my family, I have to make sure that he takes a shower. He will put off showering unless he has somewhere to go, and even then he doesn’t always take a shower. I find this strange because all my ex-boyfriends have never had hygiene issues. He has also recently gotten into the habit of not brushing his teeth, I am ashamed. Please help my Boyfriend doesn’t shower or brush teeth”– Deepika, India
8 Things that you must do when your boyfriend only showers once a week
If your boyfriend only showers once a week you must talk to him about how his lack of personal hygiene is affecting your relationship. Tell him that it makes you feel disrespected and if he sufferers from depression get him the help that he needs and don’t be intimate with him until he starts showering regularly.
Don’t have sex with him
Darling, you have to take care of your health, how can you possibly be intimate with him knowing he showers once a week? Sex involves an exchange of bodily fluids which means you will take in all his unshowered fluid eww…
Tell him how not taking a shower is starting to take its toll on your relationship. When you talk to him try to be calm about it or he might think that you hate him. Tell him how embarrassed you are to bring him around your friends and family, and how much taking care of his hygiene will mean to you.
Tell him that he smells
You have to bite the bullet and come out with you, the truth will hurt him but this could be the reality check that he needs. Be honest and tell him, “ You are starting to smell, I love you but your lack of hygiene is turning me off, You mean the world to me but I can’t connect with you when you don’t take care of yourself”.
Get him support
As a last-ditch effort to save your relationship, get him some help, he may not think that he needs it, but use your discretion. Lots of psychiatrists deal with patients like him every day and if he has a skin condition get him the help of a dermatologist.
Shower with him
As risky as this sounds, why not take a shower with him and make the process enjoyable, seeing your naked body in the shower could be all the motivation that he needs to keep up with his hygiene. You can get him a new bath towel, new soap, or even a bathroom hamper.
Remind him when to shower
Be his take-a-shower alarm clock until he gets into the habit of showering more than once on his own. Make everything reachable and within eyesight so that he doesn’t have an excuse not to take a shower. This means that soap, toothbrush, and body lotion must be visible as soon as he enters the bathroom, you can also set a reminder on his phone.
Think about your health
Show him the health risks associated with not taking a shower. Don’t overlook the fact that this could affect your health as his girlfriend especially if you are having sex with him. His lack of hygiene can accumulate and you can end up with issues such as a UTI. Remember that bacteria will build up and he can have grim, rashes, and other things going on.
Let it go
If you know that this relationship has other issues such as he treats you like you are stupid, he treats you like a pet or you are not dreaming of becoming his wife, well then let it go. Don’t spend your precious darling life years trying to turn him into someone that he is not.
7 Reasons why your boyfriend only showers once a week
Your boyfriend only showers once a week because he may be suffering from depression and has lost motivation to do simple daily tasks such as taking care of himself.
He doesn’t go anywhere
Why waste water when you don’t have to go anywhere? Am I right? Okay jokes aside, he might only shower once a week because he has nowhere to go. Maybe your boyfriend doesn’t have a huge social life or has a remote job and he orders food and groceries, these are all the things that would force him to get out of the house and interact, so he would be pressured to take a shower.
He is depressed
There is a huge correlation between hygiene and mental issues like depression. Ask anyone who suffers from major depression, or depression that prevents them from doing normal day-to-day tasks what it is like to live with depression.
When depression flares up, it can be hard to do anything, so taking a shower, brushing your teeth, and washing your hair are all things people with depression say becomes impossible to do. So look at what your boyfriend’s overall behavior has been like, he might have depression.
It’s who he is
We can come up with a list of reasons as long as the great wall of China, but sometimes people like your boyfriend only shower once a week or not at all because they don’t mind being dirty or smelling a little funky. They don’t care, they don’t worry about it, and they like themselves as smelly as they are because it’s who they are.
He has a skin condition
He might have a skin condition that he is not even aware of if taking a shower make his skin uncomfortable, it itches or he develops a rash it’s easy to see why he would only shower once a week, it might be an allergic reaction that is undiagnosed and he might avoid getting help because he is not sure of what is happening.
Water traumatizes him
Your boyfriend might be traumatized by water because of a childhood experience that involved drowning or not knowing how to swim. He might not be afraid of the shower or sink per se, but anything that has to do with water might trigger him.
He doesn’t feel wanted
Have you paid attention to the state of your relationship or have you been preoccupied with getting him to take a shower? He might not bother showering more than once a week because he feels like you do not want him, so what’s the point of taking a shower, it’s not like you are going to show him love and intimacy.
He wasn’t taught the importance of hygiene
It might not even be his fault that he only showers once a week, for all we know his family are not big shower takers themselves. Habits such as cooking, cleaning, and taking showers are habits that are taught to us by our parents and are conditioned when we are young. If his mom or dad didn’t teach him about personal hygiene, we can forgive him.
How to tell my boyfriend to shower (9 Things that you can say)
- “It’s time to take a shower”
- “It would make me feel better if you took care of yourself”
- “You smell so much better when you shower”
- “ Why don’t we take a shower together”
- “ I think you should shower more because you look sexy when you do”
- “ The smell of soap after you take a shower drives me crazy”
- “Your lack of personal hygiene is starting to make me lose interest”
- “ How would you feel if I never took a shower”
- “ Is there a reason why you never shower, how can I help you”
Why has my boyfriend stopped showering?
Your boyfriend might be depressed, he might suffer from a lack of motivation or the will to do anything because depressed people can lose focus on their goals and taking care of themselves, and doing things such as taking a shower does not become a priority.
To close it up
You have to take care of this before it is an unhealthy normal part of your life, being an adult involves taking care of your personal hygiene. If he is depressed, he needs to seek the help of a trained professional before his laziness or lack of desire spills onto other areas of his life. He might be showering once a week, but not brushing his teeth is a nono, imagine french kissing someone who doesn’t brush their teeth, oh no.