My boyfriend doesn’t buy me food
“Dear Sindi, I am in a funny situation, I have been seeing this guy for two months we originally met online and started dating. But whenever we go out he only buys food for himself, the other day I ordered food for myself, and when we had to pay he only paid for himself. I am not a gold digger but I have never dated anyone who acts like him. I have stopped going to his house because he only cooks for himself, his brother was also at his place and he was the one who gave me something to eat and not my boyfriend. I don’t know if I should dump him.” – Nira- Miami Florida
Her Darling Life Answer
So your boyfriend thinks is okay to leave you hungry and eat in front of you? What happened to being a gentleman and offering you at least a bite of what he is eating? No, a bite of it is not good enough, Does he even ask you if you want to eat? And does he care? Knowing how much I love food,
I am not sure if I would be comfortable with him munching away while I sit there probably hungry because I didn’t eat in the anticipation that I would eat when I am with my boyfriend,
So here is what you can do when your boyfriend or maybe we can say you are not so Prince Charming only makes food for himself. YIKES.
6 Reasons why your boyfriend only makes food for himself
Your boyfriend only makes food for himself because he is inconsiderate, he might think that you are not hungry or that you won’t like the food that he is eating.
He is inconsiderate
Yeeeeer….He is only thinking of himself, when you come over not only to your boyfriend’s house but to anybody’s house the normal human etiquette is to be offered something to eat and drink. Is he afraid that you will finish all of his food? His not offering you any food is selfish behavior, he doesn’t care if you have eaten or not. Even if you were going to turn the food down but the point is he needs to at least offer you something.
He doesn’t know when you are hungry
Some men need to be told certain things such as ” Baby I am hungry”, I know, you would think he would know how to be hospitable and offer you something. But maybe he doesn’t know that you are hungry. This could be due to a variety of situations, for example, if you see him after a day out with your friends he might assume since you were at the mall you had something to eat. Or if you go to his place straight from work or straight from your house, he could think that you had a chance to eat something before you went to him.
He doesn’t have enough food
It can be embarrassing to have people visit you when you don’t have enough money let alone food to feed them, if this is your boyfriend he might be embarrassed that he only has a small portion of food that is enough for only himself, he is too ashamed to say anything. He could be going through a financial rough patch and instead of saying anything to you, he chooses to keep quiet out of sheer embarrassment.
You said no in the past
Women can be such primadonnas at times, this happens when your relationship is still in the early stages. Suppose your relationship is new and you are still shy, think about the last time he offered you something to eat, did you reject it because you were shy? Or maybe you said no because you were not hungry. Your boyfriend might have thought that you are never hungry when you go to his place because every time he offers you something to eat you always say “NO”.
He doesn’t think that you will like what he is eating
It’s common behavior for people to get offended when they offer you food and you turn it down because you don’t like what they are eating. He could only make for himself because you never like what he eats, maybe you always criticize the kinds of food that he likes to cook. If he always eats the same thing that you don’t like and you have expressed your disdain for his food, then it’s a no-brainer why he acts like this.
He wants you to provide him with food
This depends on the country that you live in, for example in Africa, it’s pretty common for the girlfriend to prepare food at her home and then bring the food to her boyfriend when she visits. What if your boyfriend expects you to cook for him and then bring the food to him? What kind of man is he, men who think like this love to have their needs taken care of, for them, a woman must clean and cook, so he expects you to take care of his every need like cooking, cleaning, giving him great sex and telling him how handsome he is. Whoooo
8 Things that you can do when your boyfriend only makes food for himself
There is only one way to sort this out and that is to speak to him and let him know that his behavior is not only strange but also selfish if he refuses to think of your feelings then spend less time with him and see if that will get him to change.
Be honest about his behavior
He won’t know that his behavior is affecting you if you don’t say anything, tell him you don’t like it when he eats all by himself. Also tell him that if he doesn’t want to offer you anything to eat, then you are not going to see him. It’s not about the food, it’s about the thought behind it. He might try to make you feel bad by saying something like ” Oh, it’s just food, why didn’t you say that you are hungry?“. and that’s how he will try to guilt trip you into thinking that your normal human need for food is too much.
Help where you can
If he is going through a financial crisis, it’s understandable. If he doesn’t have enough food because of money, you can give him room to breathe by helping him out. Help him buy cooking for him, maybe on a Sunday when you do your weekly meal prep, you can make extra food and take it to his place to help him out. But this is the only time where leaving you to starve is acceptable.
Look at how he reacts
Look at how he reacts when you tell him this behavior is selfish, when you ask him to order you food or offer you want he is eating, monitor his reaction if he gets annoyed or calls you demanding, Darling please run. if this is only the dating phase of the relationship, do you think you can be with a guy who is stingy with food?
Pause the relationship
Once again, why would you subject yourself to a life of self-made hunger and thirst? Why are you with him if he is selfish? Relationships are complicated, if you are not ready to leave him that’s fine you don’t have to. You only need to do enough to get the point across that his behavior is not on. So think about taking a break from being with him. When he calls tell him that you are busy until he asks you what the matter is.
Stop being intimate with him
So he eats in front of you but still wants to have sex? Is he that good-looking that you would agree? If this is something that keeps you awake at night, do not sleep with him, and don’t do that to yourself until he has corrected his behavior because if you continue to give him sex even though he is being selfish the only message that you are sending to him is that he can treat he anyway that he likes and you don’t mind.
Bring food for yourself
This is petty, but if you insist on being with this guy for a long time and he leaves your stomach growling, cook food for yourself at home and bring it to his place when you visit. Only make enough for yourself and when he asks you why you didn’t make enough for him, tell him how selfish and inconsiderate he is. But do this as a last resort and only if you do not want to break up with him, because why would you sleep with someone who doesn’t even have the decency to feed you?
Order take out
Okay, he only prepares food for himself, but tell him to order take out that’s the least he could do and make sure he pays for it. If he does not want to offer you anything, ask him, no, tell him that you are hungry and would like it if he can order you something to eat.
Open up to him
Have a frank conversation about this, tell him that you have never been with a guy who only makes food for himself and NO, you are not comparing him to other guys, you are only comparing his behavior. I mean most guys jump at the chance to cook or order food for their girlfriends, it’s one of the rules of dating, “Thy shall eat and feed each other”. Don’t enable his behavior by going out of your way not to make him feel guilty, if you are hungry say tell him if you are thirsty tell him and if he is being selfish, you tell him, darling.
Is not sharing food selfish?
Yes, not sharing food is selfish, because sharing food is thought to be good manners because when you share food you are being considerate of whether or not the other person is hungry, even if they turn down your offer you should always share a bit of your food.
In closing, Darling
Your boyfriend must ask himself the question Why am I selfish with food, or maybe he is saying to himself ” I hate sharing food with my girlfriend”, in that case, it’s up to you if you want to say and go hungry in the presence of someone who claims to love you, Hmm… Darling, good luck.