Are you kidding me, you must be joking, is your boyfriend insulting you in front of his friends? If he insults you in front of his friends, I am afraid to ask what he says to you behind closed doors, I hope it’s not worse. The mere fact that you are being insulted is enough for me to tell you to kick him to the side, But, I know that is not how emotions work.
You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t love him, so emotions aside. Have a look at the reasons why the love of your life ( hopefully not) insults you in front of his friends and look at the solutions that we have, holding thumbs that you will at least try one of the solutions.
Why does my boyfriend act differently in front of his friends?
5 Reasons why your boyfriend insults you in front of his friends
Your boyfriend insults you in front of his friends for several reasons, it might be that he wants to show his friends that he has some sort of control over you, his insulting you could be him showing you his true colors or his friends are influencing him.
He wants to condition you
Get ready for a rollercoaster of a relationship if he does this now, he is setting you up for more to come. The conditioning is his way of managing your expectations, it’s his way of saying “ Look, I will treat you whichever way I want, I can do that in front of my friends I am not afraid”.
He has always been a rude guy
If your boyfriend is not a nice guy he can only hide the real him for so long eventually his true self will rise up. You just didn’t notice it, you were too blinded by love, or maybe you did notice but thought he would grow out of insulting you.
It’s his way of being an alpha male
When men get together they tend to want to show how manly they are, oh Darling it can be annoying I know. Your dear boyfriend might be insulting you because it’s his way of getting his dopamine ego boost, he can’t be an alpha male with his friends but he can be an alpha male with you, gosh even lions don’t do this.
He likes showing off to his friends
Who knows what your prince charming may have told his friends, for all we know he told them that he has you wrapped around his you-know-what and that you take any kind of behavior he dishes out. So to prove his theory that you are somewhat of a pushover he has to show his friends that he can insult you so that they believe him.
He doesn’t think highly of himself or you
Ya, ya, we live in a world where insults are part of the game, nowadays you can’t feel offended about something otherwise you will be labeled as a “Karen”, but this is one of those times where you must be one. He doesn’t think highly of himself or even you for that matter because insults are not normal no matter what Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram says, this is not a Comedy Central roast session.
How do you react when your boyfriend insults you?
9 Ways that you can react when your boyfriend insults you in front of his friends
When your boyfriend insults you in front of his friends there are several ways that you can react, the first being to speak to him about the insults and how they make you feel. Insist on his apology and monitor him for changed behavior and if he doesn’t change and keeps on insulting you, think about leaving the relationship and finding a boyfriend who will respect you.
Hold him accountable
This is not one of those times when he promises to wash the dishes and he forgets and you let him get away with it, nope, it’s not and you can’t. When someone insults you never mind in public with people that he knows, he takes something away from you. Your dignity, how are you going to hold your head high in front of his home boys if they laugh at the insults that he says, hopefully, they are gentlemen.
Don’t let him get away with it, raise it in front of his friends. If you don’t dare to call him out, wait until you get home, or better yet on the way home you can tell him ” I didn’t appreciate the way you spoke to me” and let him know you won’t put up with it.
Wait for his apology
As Steve Harvey would say “Act like a lady but think like a man”, it’s not one of the best books but he has a point with that line. Act like a lady and keep quiet, acting like a lady doesn’t mean you smile and act sweet when he insults you. You act like a lady by keeping quiet and changing your face. Look mad and continue with the day’s proceedings and wait for him to apologize. If this boyfriend, oh why do I keep calling him that, again, if this boyfriend cares about you, he will ask you what the issue is and he can apologize and if he is sincere you can accept the apology.
Don’t give in without him apologizing
No, you can’t brush this under the carpet and carry on as normal, it can be business as usual, you teach people how to treat you, and if you accept this sort of treatment, well, good luck to you. Don’t go out with him until he says that he is sorry and he means it. The apology should not be forced and it should be backed up with changed behavior.
Ya, that feeling that you had at the back of your mind telling you to keep your eyes open might not be a bad thing. Normal guys don’t do what he has done, most men want to make their girlfriends feel like a queen. But Narcissist, well… What can we say they are narcissists, not only do they thrive on attention but doing something like insulting you in front of their friend is textbook Narc behavior, will he ever change? Well…that’s a post for another time.
Know your right to be upset
No this is not one of those times where he can say that you are overreacting, he will say that when he sees that you don’t find the insults funny. Don’t be afraid to let him know you are right to be upset (oh Lord, we hope he is mature), and that your being sad, angry, or mad is not an overacting on your part, but why do you even have to explain all of that to him?.
Get him help
Even though there are billions of people in the world, the caliber of men still available is not looking great, so if it’s the first time he has insulted you and he feels remorseful, let’s give him the benefit of the doubt. If he is open to seeing a therapist even for one session just to talk to someone and find out why he needs to pull you down would be great, even if it’s one session. In the meantime, there are plenty of resources online and even on Youtube, he can utilize.
Insult him back
Well, from where I am from men don’t even dare insult their women, or else… They know what will happen, first, their friends would probably put them in line but women from my hood snapback, darling oh we snapback. Don’t insult him in front of his friends but when you confront him be sure to point out his weak points. You can say something like ” I don’t like it when you make fun of me, I could make fun of your huge belly but I don’t”. Find what he hates about himself, use it in the argument, and then end it right there.
Find a boyfriend who will not insult you
Sure, there are not a lot of fish in the Ocean, but there are still fish available, between most men being married, or in committed relationships, you might have to dig deep, as in the far end of the Pacific Ocean. But Darling, find a man who will respect you and preferably one who won’t insult you.
Think about your future
Is there even a future with someone who insults you in front of his friends? What future could there be? One where you always leave events feeling low about yourself? One where you always have to justify and motivate as to why you are upset, even writing this is exhausting. I can only imagine how exhausted you will be constantly going back and forth, is that the life you want? If it’s the first time, we can give him a free pass, but if this is a pattern what future can you possibly have? One where you are constantly googling terms like “ Why does my boyfriend insult me in front of his friends?”
Is it okay for your partner to insult you?
No, it is not okay for your partner to insult you, disagreements are part of relationships but insults are taking it too far.
Darling save yourself the time and energy of writing a Letter for him when he insults you or go looking for Insulting messages for boyfriend its not worth it, don’t make excuses for insults you might say “But My boyfriend insults me when we fight when we don’t fight he is so sweet”, nip this behavior as soon as it happens otherwise he might continue to insult you until the end of time.