So your closest friend has fallen in love and wants you to meet her boyfriend? This is excellent news, and the perfect opportunity for you to sus out if her new bae is the one for her.
But before you meet him, check out the list of do’s and don’ts so that you go prepared and make the right impression.
12 Do’s and don’ts when meeting your friend’s boyfriend
Don’t reveal your friend’s embarrassing secrets
I know it can be tempting to show your friend’s boyfriend that she has a funny or quirky side but keep such stories to yourself. There is no need to tell her boyfriend about the time she drunk cried over her now ex-boyfriend or how she farted so loud that other people noticed. Although very funny, these stories should be kept between the friendship group.
Do arrange a lunch date
A lunch date setting is perfect, it gives you enough time to sit down and make some small talk, and at the same time, you can come up with an excuse that you have a prior engagement you need to get to.
Don’t talk about religion or politics
This might seem obvious but girl, do not talk about politics or religion when you meet your friend’s boyfriend for the first time. You should try and stay clear from this topic for the duration of your friend’s relationship.
Pro tip: I have seen so many people get into arguments about political parties, and should a fight between your and your friend’s boyfriend start it will result in an awkward first meeting.
Do let them do most of the talking
Your friend’s boyfriend will naturally have questions lined up for you to answer, and having met many of my friend’s boyfriends I can tell you that your friend will give you a heads up of the questions that he will ask you. If anyone is prepared for this meeting it is your friend. If you feel a little out of place because you are not talking much, you can ask him a few questions based on what he is saying or ask him any random questions.
Pro tip: Your friend knows him best, ask her what the mood will be like and what questions you should ask.
Do ask open-ended questions
Come on girl, this is your friend’s boyfriend and you have to do your best to get out as much information as you can from him. So instead of asking questions like “how old are you?” how about you ask something that will require him to speak a little, something like “ so tell me what attracted you to my friend?’’, do you see where I am going with this?
Don’t talk about your friend’s ex-boyfriend
Duh, I mean I don’t have to say this but girl, don’t you even dare think about mentioning any of her ex-boyfriends no matter how good he was to her or how much you liked him. She has moved on, and this will create problems between your friend and her new boyfriend.
Pro tip: If the new boyfriend asks you about her ex, quickly change the subject and direct the conversation to him and what attracted him to your friend.
Do bring another friend
If your friend is open to the idea and all of you are close why not bring another friend to meet him? That way the pressure won’t completely be on you. Have this other friend sit next to you that way you will have someone that can also ask some questions.
Pro tip: bringing a mutual friend with you will ensure that you are not the third wheel
Don’t sit next to them if you are going on a movie date
Granted this is your close friend, but if you are meeting her boyfriend alone with no one accompanying you like we said you will be the third wheel. A movie date has its pros and cons, a pro is that after the movie you guys can have something to talk about and ease into the conversation. A con is that they will most likely be so in love touching and kissing leaving you looking lost, lol. So if you arrange a movie date be sure not to sit next to them. You can pick a seat at the back.
Do make it a quick meeting (tell them you have other plans)
In and out that is my motto, don’t stay for too long, before the meeting tell your BFF that you have a prior engagement that you will have to go to so you can’t stay long. However don’t be so quick to leave either, your friend arranged for you to meet her boyfriend because she wants the two most important people in her life to get to know each other. If you need an indication of a time limit stay for one round of drinks and some finger foods.
Pro tip: Arrange for someone to call you after you have been there for one hour and thirty minutes, that way you can have an easy reason to leave.
Don’t show too much interest in him (make it about your friend)
There is a fine line between showing your friend that you are happy for her and that you approved of her new man but try not to overstep. Show interest in what he has to say but remember this is about your friend, she should be the one steering the conversation, and he should chip in here and there. Try not to do something like gaze into his eyes, flirt, or touch him.
Do sit across from them
If you are the only friend that is meeting the boyfriend then you should be seated directly across from your friend, his seating position should be next to her, but your first eye contact when you speak should be your friend, you can look at him when we speak, change your glaze to the both of them.
Do bring your boyfriend and make it a double date
I love the double date setup, this will take so much pressure off you, and your boyfriend can engage in some bro talk and let you in on what they spoke about later. If you bring your boyfriend your friend’s boyfriend will feel at ease, and the boys can go and get drinks while you have a bit of girl talk on the side.
Do I have to meet my friend’s boyfriend?
If your friend wants you to meet her boyfriend then yes you have to meet him. This will give you a chance to get to know him and also give your friend honest feedback about what you think of him.
When should your friends meet your boyfriend?
You should meet your friend’s boyfriend when she wants to introduce you to him. You can give her space to get comfortable in her new relationship, you can meet him after they have ben dating for a few months.
Don’t we just love it when our dear friends are in love? Sure they might annoy us when they constantly talk about this new love interest but it’s the sweetest thing. You might be thinking “oh man, my friend wants me to meet her boyfriend, I really don’t feel like it”, but meeting your friend’s boyfriend doesn’t have to be a big deal, its a chance for all of you to have a good time, so go prepared and show your friend that you have her back.