I Went Through My Friend’s Phone (6 Reasons It’s Not Okay)

So you happened to go through your friends’ phone, you may or may not have found anything bad she said about you, but this has left you asking yourself if it’s okay to go through your friend’s phone.  

In this article, we explore the reasons why you should never go through your friends and keep those lovely fingers to yourself. 

Is it wrong to go through your friend’s phone?

Unless your friend knows and permitted you to go through their phone then yes, it is wrong to go through your friend’s phone.

6 Reasons why you should not go through your friend’s phone

It can be considered theft

I don’t have to tell you that taking something that doesn’t belong to you is not okay, in school we were taught very early on to keep our hands to ourselves. Crime shows have entire episodes dedicated to catching criminals who commit theft, we see this everywhere. Taking something that doesn’t belong to you without permission is illegal, and this also applies to your friends’ phones.

You are infringing on her privacy

It doesn’t matter how close you are to your friend you have no excuse for going through her messages. It’s simple unless you bought her the phone don’t touch it, even if you did buy her the phone, it now belongs to her. Reading your friend’s messages or going through her pictures is a form of violation, what if she has some intimate texts, videos, or pictures?

It’s a breach of trust 

Trust is important not only in intimate relationships but also between friends, when she finds out you went through her phone that trust is immediately broken. She might ask herself if she can ever trust you again. Ask yourself the next time you want to be curious if this is worth breaking the trust of your friend. The next time she sees you she will most likely keep her phone on her, and the atmosphere might be tense.

She will be mad

When she finds you you did this, she has every right to be mad, people store a lot of personal things on their phones. What if you find out something that she has been struggling with but keeping a secret from you? What if you read messages between her and her therapist? She will never be able to see you in the same light again. And who knows how long she will be mad? Some people take trust and privacy very seriously, this could result in a lukewarm friendship.

You might find out things that she said about you

Friends talk about friends all the time, and if you are one of her closest friends then you can bet she has said something about you to other people whether positive or negative. If you and she had a fight and she sent a message to a mutual friend to vent, do you want to find out what she said? Keep in mind that her venting about you to other people can be in the heat of the moment, and later she might have mellowed down.

Think about a time when you were mad at her and spoke to someone else about the situation, and maybe you calmed down after a few hours and realized that she is a great friend. So when you see the message, you might be angry, and start asking a lot of questions based on a scenario that happened long ago and your friend is no longer angry at you.

Kiss the friendship goodbye

Taking into account everything from trust, privacy, and anger, this will likely destroy the friendship for all the reasons combined, your friend will probably be irritated at the thought. Don’t forget that it’s not only about you finding out what she said about you but her private information and things she keeps a close guard on. 

Why do people go through other people’s phones?

People go through other people’s phones because they want to find out information about someone. For most people snooping through someone’s phone has to do with a combination of curiosity and insecurity.

4 Reasons why people go through other people’s phones


Curiosity is honestly the only reason that I would ever go through my friends’ phones ( after getting their permission). I don’t have to tell you the famous saying ‘ curiosity killed the cat’, well, in this case, it will be ‘curiosity killed the friendship’. It’s not a crime to want to see her phone, maybe you want to go through her pictures, her apps, or just like how her phone looks, if your reason is innocent then ask to see her phone, it should be no problem.


As stated insecurity can be present in romantic and platonic relationships. You may find yourself asking questions like does she think she is better than me? Why has been so distant? It looks like her life is moving in the right direction, so is she going to end our friendship? This will send you into deductive mode trying to piece together the answer to who, why, when, and what.


The universal reason is jealousy, but before you say ‘I am not jealous of my friend’ give me a second to explain. Jealousy can come in many forms, some people have reported going through their friend’s phones to find out information on how they got hired, yes you heard me right, sneaky things. On the other hand, some people are naturally secretive about their lives, what if your friend is not letting you in on some things, and it has you feeling jealous?

It is a form of control

If you are a control freak then this reason likely applies to you. The only reason I would put anyone in this category is if your friend is all of the sudden hanging out with other people. You would most probably want to know where she has been and with whom. But if this is you, then you need to ask yourself why it’s important for you to know what your friend is up to when she is not with you.

To wrap it up

It doesn’t matter what reason you may have when you snoop through someone’s phone it destroys the trust. Your bestie’s phone is not your phone and should be treated with respect. Instead of snooping around, why not try to find the root cause of your desire to do this? Has she done something that you do not like? Have you taken the time to speak to her? If you are not happy with the answers she gave you, then end the friendship before it turns you into someone you do not like.