It can be so hard and awkward to have to tell your mom to move out, like how do you even do that? Are you even allowed to tell your mom that she needs to go? I mean how will she react, will you still even have a mom left after you tell her mom you need to move out?
Wait, no need to panic, we have some solutions that you can try, tell us which one worked for you.
How do I ask my mother to move out?
Asking your mom to move out is not easy, you must be firm but kind, you also need to make it clear that she cannot live with you. You can put her mind at ease by assuring her that you will visit her, and if you think you won’t be able to tell her to move out you can ask your family to help you talk to her.
9 Things you can do when you want your mom to move out
Blame your partner
Blame it on your husband or boyfriend, you might be saying no I can’t do that but trust me you can. Blame your man, your mom’s loyalty is to you and only you, she won’t be mad at you but might be irritated at him.
How will this turn out?
When you blame your man do it gently, don’t make him out to be the bad person, instead, you can tell your mother that your husband feels like he cannot do certain things around the house like walk around with his shirt off ( I hope he doesn’t do this will your mom around), but mean need privacy, how would your father have felt if her mom came to live with them?
How to tell your mom to move out
This is what you can say: “ Mom, Mike, and I feel like we need to help you find your own place, we are so grateful for your help around the house, but please understand that Mike needs his space and to feel comfortable around the house”
Dont succumb to the guilt
Yes, your mom gave birth to you and she raised you and spent a ton of money on you, but that is what moms are supposed to do, take care of their children. So don’t let her guilt trip you, you can be grateful for all the opportunities that she was able to give you, but no rule says that you have to pay any of what she did back, she’s your mom, and moms take care of their kids.
The point is to kick her out but still have a mom at the end of the day, so do it gently. The worse thing you can do is to make her feel unwanted, make her feel loved, and needed but still be able to remove her from her home.
How can I do this?
Highlight the positive aspects of having her around, maybe she is good at cooking, cleaning, or looking after the kids. Thank her and make sure that she knows you will miss her amazing muffins or chicken stir fry, you know butter her up. Then tell her that she needs to give you space so that you can learn to be independent and also learn to be a great mom and wife just like she taught you.
Promise to visit ( and keep that promise)
Keep the lines of communication open, Don’t just dump your mom at the nearest available apartment and hope she survives. You can do this well by promising her that you will visit. It will even be better if you have at least two activities planned for after she has moved out, For example, you can set up a spar date the week after she has moved out so that she can see that she will be not abandoned. If you have kids, remind her that your son has soccer practice and your daughter and ballet classes and she must not forget to go.
Ask for help
So, if you really cannot kick your mom out and she has nowhere to go, ask your family for help. To ease the burden, your mom can stay with your for three months and maybe your aunt then three months and come back. The point is that you need some space, if a family member is willing to take her in, then grab that opportunity.
Pro tip: If you are finding it hard to convince people to accommodate your mom, you can tell them that you will pay for expenses, and they won’t have to worry about taking on financial responsibility.
Look at other options
The benefits of having siblings can come into play, do you have a brother, a sister, or an aunt? Use all of these people to your advantage. If you are the only married sibling, and your sister is single then she should be the one to take the lead in hosting mommy dearest. Think outside of the box, if your mom has a sibling maybe a sister who stays on her own, why not propose the idea of them staying together? It’s a win-win situation, yes you kicked your mom out but she is still with family.
Pro tip: If you don’t want to shoulder the financial responsibility of taking care of your mom you must involve your siblings in the decision-making. All of you can decide what happens to your mom, and where she will live and the expenses can be divided among all of you.
You can also ask your siblings to speak to your mom about moving out, and have them talk to her about the burden that her presence and been on you when it comes from other people you won’t feel as guilty.
Offer to help her move
Phew, once you have gathered the courage to tell her she needs to go, extend the offer to help her move. Tell her that you will have her set up in a new place so that she doesn’t have to struggle, and you will help her move and get the essentials that she needs.
Pro tip: To ease the guilt of kicking mommy out, find a place for her that is close to where you will so that she can see that you still want her around, but at a distance.
Give her time
My dear friend, don’t just tell your mom that she needs to go and the next day you kick her out, that is cruel, give it time. Let it sink in that she will not be living with her, don’t immediately send her packing (unless she has been causing trouble, but that’s a topic of another day), give yourself the time to come up with the budget, and finder her decent place otherwise, she will be right back knocking at your do. Get her involved in apartment hunting, and allow her to choose an affordable place to rent. Yes, I know you want her out but don’t rush or you might make mistakes.
Your mom has probably seen you at your worse and guess what? She still loves you, embrace that love and cherish it but most importantly thank you for everything that she has done.
How should I do that?
Well, maybe your mom is behind on some of her bills, so why not pay for some of her expenses as a surprise? Or you can organize a nice lunch for her and her friends?
How do you tell your parents they can’t live with you anymore?
You can say something along the lines of: “ Mom, you mean the world to me, and I will miss you a lot but I feel that I cannot be independent, and I also feel like you also need your own space, how about we look for accommodation options for you?
Is it wrong to ask my mom to move out of my place?
No, it’s not wrong to ask your mom to move out, you need to grow as a person and that is not always easy to do when your mom is living with you.
Should aging parents live with you?
If your mom is aging and is not a danger to you or herself then yes she should live with you. But if your mom is showing the mental and physical signs of aging you should think about placing her in a care facility that is close to your home so that you can visit her now and again.
You are probably saying to yourself “I can’t do this my mom has nowhere to live”, and it’s natural to think that. But ask yourself if she was not your mom, would you tolerate her in your house with all that you have going on and all her habits? The only thing that is stopping you from pulling the plug is that thought “my mom lives in my house, and she has nowhere to go”, but you can use some of the solutions that we provided give it a try or you might end up saying to yourself “my parents moved in with me and I hate it”, and we wouldn’t want that.