A lot of people lose touch with their friends from high school, and it is pretty common never to see most of them again unless you become friends on social media, besides I wouldn’t recognize anyone from my high school even if they ran over me with a motorbike, it was long ago, and even if it wasn’t, the interaction would probably we a quick Hello, how are you, and goodbye.
Having no friends from high school is not unusual, that is because people change and grow apart, but if you still have doubts have a look at why it is fine not to have friends from high school, first have look at the situation from one of our readers.
Is it normal to have no friends from high school?
“Dear Sindi, I am sitting here wondering where all my friends went, I am currently working at my first job after finishing my studies, but boy has it been hard to make new friends. I am missing my friends from high school, it doesn’t help that I am the only one who is not married and has no kids, I just wish we would have all stayed in touch. I have no friends from high school, is there something wrong with me?“- Anon, Seattle, Washington
7 Reasons It’s Okay to have no friends from high school
It’s perfectly fine to not have any friends from high school, It’s very rare for people to maintain friendships for longer than the school years. Many people move on from high school and start new chapters in their lives making it hard to stay in touch and the friendship naturally dies.
Why do people change?
I don’t know about you but I am not the same person that I was when I was in high school, and that is okay, the same applies to your former friends, they have changed over time, and maybe they have started to hang out with different people, maybe what they believed in when you all were in the same school has changed, it could be anything, but the point is they have changed.
Remember that not everyone chooses the same career path after school; some decide to go and get married, others join the army, and some pursue their higher education.
You are not the same person that you were in school
Besides your friends changing you can’t deny the fact that you have changed even if you don’t see that but I can bet you are not the same person you were when you were in school, even if you left high school a year ago. There is nothing wrong with changing, I would be worried if you were still the same individual that you were.
Your view on life may have changed, your interests may have changed and you no longer fit in with your former friends, it’s a good thing you are changing because it’s proof that you are taking in all that life has to offer. Can you imagine if you were still the same dreamy naive girl you were in high school? I don’t think so.
It is part of life
As I said, it’s very rare for people to keep in touch after high school, the lifelong best friend stories where people meet in high school and become friends for life are not the reality for many people. It was easy to be best friends in high school, it is not like you had a choice, you had to go to school to learn, so you were practically forced to be in the same environment with the same people for hours on end for years. High school is a controlled system, and because you were all in the same school you became friends.
Life stops for no one, people are doing new things with their lives and these new things may or may not involve friends from high school. Life happens in so many ways, we also have to take into account that a lot of people are going through a hard time, your friends might not tell you when things are bad, and because of these hard times, friendships may not be high on their priority lists.
Staying with the point of people going through hard times, sometimes life doesn’t work out for everyone, and seeing your friends succeed can be tough. Imagine all your friends from high school succeed in life and you are the only one still trying to make it, that can affect your self-esteem. Many of my clients have lost friends in this manner.
It’s hard to keep in touch
Between applying for university, trying to land a dream job, trying to purchase a house, and taking care of our mental health, keeping in touch can seem like a hard thing to do, and it is hard. Now you might say “ But sending a quick message to say hello doesn’t take up much time” and you are right, but duties like working, getting the kids ready for school, studying, and university can make it hard to even send that quick message.
People who have kids or get married are notorious for neglecting friendships because once again, life happens, they have to take care of their children or husbands and there is nothing wrong with that.
After high school, many people decide to study in the city especially if they come from a small town. The arrival in a new place brings about many changes, people make new friends, they find new partners and their way of living changes. So keeping in touch and doing activities like lunch with the girls will be near impossible if one or more of your friends, including you, decided to live in a different city.
Some people have great relationships with high school friends because they might have never left their hometown, but it is easy to maintain a friendship when everyone lives in the same area.
You can meet new people
The bad news is that you no longer have friends from your high school, the good news is that there are billions of people on Earth, and the chance to make cool new friends is ready and waiting for you. It could be a good thing that you are no longer friends with people from your high school, they can’t influence the new you, and you have a chance to meet new people who can change your outlook on life. Just because you have no friends from high school doesn’t mean that you are a loser, this is a normal transit phase that you have to go through.
Why do we drift apart from our friends after high school and never see each other again?
People drift apart because people change and it is normal to no longer have anything in common with your friends. You may no longer like the same things or have the same beliefs. Life after school can also be tough, many people have different things going on, some have to study, others get married and all these factors make it hard to maintain the friendship.
To wrap it up
Now that you know you are not alone in not having friends from high school you can look back and be grateful for the time that you spent with your school friends. Accept the fact that life has many stages, it’s the healthiest approach you can take. And remember that people change memories don’t, so look back with gratitude.