“I don’t have friends because I am ugly or maybe I am ugly because I don’t have friends?” Phew, you have to start being kind to yourself but whichever one you think applies to you, you need to stop because there is no such thing.
The reasons that you have zero friends are more complicated than you think so telling yourself words like I’m fat, ugly, and have no friends is not going to solve anything. Still, I will tell you what will help, read the following about things that you must do when you have no friends because you are ‘ugly’. ‘
7 Things You Have to Do when you don’t have friends because you are ugly
Work on the way that you present yourself to people, spend time working on the things you feel make you ugly and affect your ability to make friends and surround yourself with people who want to get to know you for who you are.
Fix what needs to be fixed
Okies, maybe you say you are ugly because your teeth don’t look right or you are overweight, so what can you do? Fix the Fixables, and do what needs to be done. If you don’t have body confidence, you can start eating healthy, you would be surprised at the difference losing weight can do to a person.
I am sure you have seen how gorgeous some people look with minimal weight. But this doesn’t mean that they were ugly before, but we can’t run away from facts and that weight loss can and does enhance the way a person looks. If weight is making you feel ugly and self-conscious thus impacting the way you make friends then start doing the little things such as going for walks and drinking water.
The same applies to dental work, if your teeth are preventing you from going out and making friends then save a little money and do what you can, baby steps.
Do the inner work
Wherever you go there you are, whoever came up with that lovely saying was spot on. You can’t run away from yourself, you can run away from a lot of things but the person you are will always stay with you.
What does this mean?
Face your demons, and don’t run away from thinking about what is preventing you from making friends and living your best life. Maybe you have a few issues that stem from your childhood, maybe you had a mom who never gave you any attention so that made you shy away and hide. Whatever it is, do your best to come to terms with the mistakes that you have made in friendships so that you can make new friends
A habit that people who say that they have a friend because they are ugly have is that they can be very shy, usually in social situations you might want to make friends but you will keep quiet.
Think about your last interaction with someone who you wanted to be friends with, did your lack of self-confidence make you shy? Did you sit there and not say anything? Being shy is not always a good thing, people do not want to be the ONLY ones making the friendship work, imagine if you had a friend who barely said anything and never asked you questions. Strange isn’t it?
Work on your appearance
Let’s be honest there is such as thing as pretty privilege but it doesn’t quite work the way that you think it does. Anyway, sitting at home moping about the way that you look is not going to help, unless you have heaps of money to do cosmetic surgery like keep Kardshaun you have to work with what you have, so this is what you should do:
Start taking care of your appearance, comb your hair, put on some makeup, take time with the way that you look, get yourself some earrings you know, out in a little effort. No one is saying do a total transformation, but girl, you have to take some responsibility for the way you appear to people.
Stop the comparison
You can spend hours hoping and wishing you could look like Eva Longoria or Julia Roberts but you would be wasting precious hours that you can dedicate to making friends by comparing yourself to everyone. This also applies to going out and networking, when you are out in public don’t be afraid to approach people, especially females, and strike up a conversation, I know your first instinct would be to say something like “She is very pretty Why would she want to be my friend?” until you make the effort and stop comparing yourself you will never know.
Comparison is the thief of joy( yes I know it’s another great saying), but is true, so make friends and stop comparing yourself.
Learn to adjust
You can’t live in a bubble, ( although I would love to be able to do that) you have to learn how to make friends and a part of this is being able to adjust.
How do I adjust and make friends?
Think back to when you had at least one friend, how was the interaction? It doesn’t matter what happened to the friendship that is not the point, we are looking at your interaction patterns. So maybe the friendship ended because you were a bully? Or maybe you gave unwanted advice? Maybe you were mean because you had to protect your feelings. After all, you thought you were ugly. So here we have the patterns, so learn from failed friendships and don’t do what contributed to making the friendship fail, you get my point?
Understand how society works
Unless you are an expert in interpersonal relationships ( like myself, oh yes) most of what you learned will be based on what you mainly see from social media, so here are a few things to consider when it comes to social norms:
- There are A LOT of so-called “beautiful” people who don’t have friends.
- People rarely think other people are ugly, most of the time they are wrapped up in their insecurities.
- Being ugly is not and will never be a factor when forming true friendships ( maybe in high school but we can blame that on teenage hormones).
- People will form an opinion about you based on what THEY think not what YOU think, it’s all in your head.
- People who are considered to be beautiful by society’s standards have a lot of self-doubt and their lives are not perfect.
To wrap it up
You are the only one you have got, if you don’t like yourself how do you expect anyone to like you? If you find people who are obsessed with their looks maybe those people are not a good fit for you, Be careful of the I am ugly syndrome because you will find your tribe, not everyone cares about looks, instead of avoiding and obsessing, do what you can to fix what makes you self conscious and get out of your way.