What is the Virgin Mary is going on here? Is your boyfriend part of some secret society that hunts down virgins to marry them? If so what are you doing with him? And if not, what makes him think that dumping you because you have been deflowed is normal? I mean most guys these days stay away from virgins because virgins are considered to be “hard work” We will get into why in another post, but I guess your boyfriend is part of the minority ” I want a virgin, I need a virgin, I have to marry a virgin” club.
We have to respect his reasons, he is an individual after all. Hmmm…, we acknowledge the fact that your boyfriend wants a holy woman for whatever reason that he has, and once again he has the right to choose what kind of woman he wants, but why?
Before you lie awake all night with repeated thoughts of “He doesn’t want me because I’m not a virgin” playing in your head we have a few possible reasons why he wants to go back to 2000 BC and marry a virgin, and don’t worry we have a few solutions to wipe away your non-virgin tears, only kidding.
7 Reasons why he dumped you for not being a Virgin
He dumped you for being a virgin because he wants a woman who has not had sex with any man. He believes that a woman should save herself for the right man, and since you have already slept with someone else, he decided to dump you.
It has to do with religion
I wasn’t going to talk about this but we can’t run away from it. I will refer to certain religions such as Christianity or Islam, these religions are great and are followed by many, in fact, they have played a role in making some people’s lives better. With that said religion can have a positive and a negative impact on some people.
Highly religious folks can sometimes battle with thoughts of “Can a virgin marry a non-virgin” and some people believe that there is no such thing as benefits of marrying a non-virgin, it’s either they marry a virgin or they don’t get married. I’m a Christian but not a virgin and that has not hindered my dating life at all but someone people like your boyfriend might follow certain religious rules to the letter.
It’s not a negative thing if your boyfriend is part of a religion and wants to follow what the religion dictates, but it can be a little negative because that means he will close himself off from meeting awesome women who are not virgins like yourself. If your boyfriend is following religious doctrine then there is nothing you can do about it.
It’s a cultural thing
Even if your boyfriend is not part of a religion he may follow certain cultural practices. For example in South Africa in a Province called Kwa-Zulu Natal virgins are widely praised, appreciated, and sought after. There are ceremonies dedicated to virgins where they pronounce how proud they are of being virgins, and yes men sometimes pick out their soon-to-be wives from these virgins. It has to do with the whole notion of being” untouched”, your future husband being the only one who gets to “experience” you.
He is a virgin
If he is a virgin that is very sweet, in his mind he wants his first time to be with a woman who also does not have any experience. If you have been intimate with several guys it could create a few problems or so he thinks. The topic of men losing virginity has been a topic that has been debated for centuries He could be avoiding the pressure of having to perform the way that you are used to and him being a virgin he most likely will have no clue of what he is doing.
He sees virginity as a gift
I don’t know what part of the world you are in but with everything in the media promoting the “ultimate” wedding night, he might see being a virgin as a gift. So many movies and mainstream media portray the first time that a woman has sex as this super magical night with candles, strawberries, and romantic music playing in the background.
But we know that could not be further from the truth, usually when a woman has sex for the first time, it’s nothing to write home about, it isn’t that great, there are no orgasms for the woman, and it’s usually a nervous and painful experience. All in all, he might see virginity as a gift that a woman gives her husband on their wedding night.
He assumed you are a virgin
Maybe you go to the same church or school and most of the girls he met are virgins, he naturally assumed that you are also one or he lives in an alternate universe where the girls he meets are virgins, I don’t know but either way, he might have assumed that you are a virgin and when he found out that you are not, he decided to that dumping you was the only option.
You lied about being a virgin
Maybe he wasn’t going to dump you if you told him the truth but if you lied he might see it as something he cannot forgive. think about it this way if he is upset about the lie it doesn’t mean that he is dumping you because you are no longer a virgin he is dumping you because you lied.
He doesn’t respect women who are not virgins
Ya, he might have unrealistic expectations, backward thinking, or is just a plain jerk. He might have skewed views about virgins, this can be due to several things but a lot of the time is because of the environment that he grew up in. He might associate not being a virgin with not having self-respect as a woman or being promiscuous. Basically, if this is the case your boyfriend has no respect for anyone who is not a virgin.
5 Things you should do when you are dumped for not being a virgin
Respect his decision to dump you because you are not a virgin, do not try to change his mind, don’t feel bad about breaking your virginity, and date a man who is happy to date a woman who has had sex.
Run
Well, I don’t mean literally run, but you get my point, you do not want to be in a relationship where you will be constantly reminded of something that you are not, okay you are not a virgin and no you can’t go back and insert your hymen or go to the most powerful witchdoctor so that you can be a virgin again. Leave with your dignity, respect yourself, and leave him alone.
Dont explain yourself
Your virginity or lack of has nothing to do with anyone but yourself, People lose their virginity in different ways, and at different times you do not have to tell him what happened. If he doesn’t know that not every woman has had a choice on whether or not to have sex then he is not the one for you. For all we know you might not have had a choice or say in the matter and you had to have sex, unfortunately, lots of women have lost their virginity unwillingly but that does not make them unlovable.
Let him realize what he lost
Unfortunately for him, the number of women who are virgins is running out every minute, and the chances of him finding a girlfriend who is a virgin are looking slim. Unless he goes for younger girls but that would be creepy. If he doesn’t want to end up alone and lose great relationships because of his beliefs he must start wrapping his head around the idea of how to accept a non-virgin wife.
There is no difference between virgins and non-virgins the only difference is that one has had sex and the other has not had sex. His dating a virgin does not mean that he will have a great relationship or that he and his new virgin girlfriend will live happily ever after, so let him dump you.
Respect his preference
You have to give him space and the right to dump you because you are not a virgin, it’s his choice and you can’t impose, plead or beg him to reconsider his decision. You also do want to speak about him to your friends, avoid sending him countless messages telling him that he is a loser for dumping you and that he will regret his decision, maybe he will and maybe he won’t.
Rejoice
It’s better to be dumped now for not being a virgin than to date him for months and he dumps you after finding out you have been deflowered. Things could go from bad to worse, a friend of mine who was in the exact same position ended up being insulted by her boyfriend in front of his friends, it was terrible. It hurts being dumped for whatever reason, whether he dumps you for being on OnlyFans, for being too tall, too short, or for not being a virgin it hurts but think of it this way at least you won’t spend months if not years getting to know someone who in the end will dump you because you don’t fit the bill.
Is it okay not to be a virgin?
Yes, not being a virgin is okay, having had sex is not a bad thing it doesn’t mean that you have no morals or values.
Does virginity matter in a relationship?
No virginity does not matter in a relationship, but it largely depends on the person’s background. In some cultures or religions virginity is a big thing, so things such as abstaining from sex until you are ready to settle down will matter.
Is it OK to marry a girl who is not a virgin?
Yes it is okay or marry a girl who is not a virgin, there are lots of girls who lost their virginity for some or other reasons, if a girl is not a virgin it does not mean that she is a bad person, look at building a relationship based on mutual trust, love, and respect.
Wrapping it up Darlings
Try to find a boyfriend who isn’t stuck in the dark ages, one who doesn’t have backward thinking is insecure, or has strict dating requirements. You won’t have a successful dating life if you are stuck on what relationship you could have had if only you remained a virgin, it’s done it’s over you are not a virgin, but guess what? His dumping may have saved you years of being in a crazy relationship one of the signs your bf is controlling is him being upset over things you have no control over like your past. Nothing screams “I am insecure in my relationship” than a man who won’t compromise There are millions of women who are not virgins and they are doing just fine.