Screaming toddler, nappy changes, moody teenager, baby daddy drama, and maintenance court, phew, these are possibly some of the reasons why your ex-boyfriend said, nope, I can’t do this, I can’t be in a relationship with a woman who has a child. But what gives, it’s not like you expected him to take care of your child, or did you? It’s not like he even had to spend time with your child, or did he? It’s not like you had a lot of baby daddy drama, oh but did you?
Maybe none of the above happened, but the fact that you have a child was enough reason for your boyfriend to dump you, but was he fair? With the rate of deadbeat dads, or relationships not working out he can’t blame you for being a single mother especially if your child’s father has not stepped up to the plate, a mother has to do what a mother has to do and that is to take care of your child.
Being dumped for something that is out of your control should come as no surprise with the amount of breakups going around some people get dumped for being bad in bed, go figure. Yes, your heart is broken, but read the reasons why Romeo dumped you because you have a child, and can you solve the situation? So also look at the solutions.
7 Reasons why you were dumped because you have a child
The reason why your boyfriend dumped you because you have a child is that he was not ready to take on the added responsibility of being in a relationship with a woman who is a single mom and possibly having to care for a child that is not his.
It’s a personal preference
It could be that the relationship was awesome for the both of you and you could have even been the best girlfriend that he ever had, but, there is always a but. Being a stand-in father or dating a woman who has a child might not be his thing, in this case, you did nothing wrong, some men won’t date single mothers and that is their choice, they have a right to say yes or no.
You always talk about your child
Welcome to the “He won’t date me because I have a kid club”. The one reason why I love being around mothers is that they are proud of being moms, well most caring moms always have something great to say about their children, but when is speaking about your bundle of joy a little too much?
You might not be aware that you always do it, but for some guys especially the guy who is not the father of your child, it can be annoying, as in, extremely off-putting. In the beginning, he won’t mind, mainly because he wants to get to know you, but as time goes on hearing about what Little Johnny or Precious Isabelle did at daycare becomes a snore-fest.
You are never available last minute
Romantic relationships are about doing things together and going out even at the last minute, but when you have children that becomes hard to do without having a super awesome babysitter who is always on speed dial. If your kids are grown then you are in luck because that means that they can heat the leftover macaroni dinner for themselves and go to bed without you being there.
Some men swear to never date a woman with a child because of their inability to be spontaneous. Think about the times that he invited you out at the eleventh hour and you could not go because your child is probably too young to stay up late at night or you didn’t have a baby sister.
You always bring your child on dates
Oh, ya, bringing your child on dates can be a mood killer, your boyfriend on the one side trying to sweet talk you and your child on the other needing his or her chicken nuggets to be cut into small-sized pieces. Can you see how this can turn men off? In this case, your boyfriend most likely was tired of having to be the third wheel, if you always came with your child on dates.
You spoke badly about the father of your child
You must be frustrated at the lack of support your child’s father gives you, or he might have been a great father but a terrible boyfriend. If he was harsh with the way that he treated you and you bad mouth him in front of your current boyfriend, that will immediately send red flags.
You see, most men have an unspoken sort of Bro-code, even though the two men have never met, mad mouthing your ex-boyfriend in front of your current boyfriend will have him thinking maybe you were the problem in the relationship.
You always ask him for money for your child
I know that times are hard but asking your current boyfriend for money to support your child should be at the very bottom of your list, try and ask around before asking him. If you are in a tight spot and you need money, go ahead and ask, but maybe pay him back not all but at least half of the money. If you were always asking him for money, he might have felt like he was the unofficial, official stepfather, sure your kid is cute but that is not why he is dating you.
You didn’t disclose that you were a mom
Suppose you had a bad experience with dating in the past when you used to tell your wannabe boyfriends that you have a child, their standoffish reaction might have made you afraid to say anything to any new boyfriend because you are scared that they are going to leave. Maybe your ex-boyfriend would not have minded that you have a child, but if you didn’t tell him how would you have known?
7 Things you can do when he dumps you because you have a child
When he dumps you because you have a child you must continue to take care of your child and be the best possible role model. With future relationships be honest and upfront about having a child.
Be upfront about being a mom
When going on dates or even before you should let the cat out of the bag, this is easy because when a guy wants to be your boyfriend these days one of the questions that you will often get asked is “ Do you have children?”, so answer that question honestly so that he can decide if this is a situation that he wants to get himself into before you fall in love.
Understand his reasons
Dating a single mom comes with a lot of responsibilities, it’s like taking on a ready-made family. He has good reason to be afraid especially if he does not have children, so give him the benefit of the doubt.
Understand what being a single mom means
Being a single mom means that you have to put your needs last, having kids comes with a lot of responsibilities, and your child comes first. If you are struggling to find a boyfriend because you have a child, learn to roll with the punches, and take every situation as it comes, you will find a boyfriend who does not mind.
Send him one last message
This is not one of the cases where you must have pride. It’s okay and normal to send him a message telling him that you don’t expect him to take responsibility for the child. Clear up any misunderstandings and let him tell you his reasons, usually in these situations couples do get back together.
Don’t expect your next boyfriend to take care of your child
As previously stated unless you are in a real financial pickle and you have no choice but to ask him to give you money don’t ask him. But if you must, try not to mention the fact that you are asking the money for your child, think of an excuse that you can give him.
Talk to your child
Now that we know you are looking for a man, if your child is old enough talk to them about your dating. How things might change when you get a boyfriend. This is so important because your next boyfriend could dump you because your child hates him.
Look for a man who has children
This is at the bottom because it shouldn’t be your priority because if a man wants you he will love you and your children, but its easier to make the relationship work if the guy you are dating has children of his own it’s not too much trouble, get a boyfriend who has a child, he will understand your pain and struggles. and men who have children give great advice. So you can look at a dating website for single parents to see if you will find a match.
Is it hard to date when you have a kid?
Dating when you have a kid can be hard because not everyone will understand your situation, being a parent who is actively dating comes with responsibilities and you have to balance being a parent with your dating life.
There are plenty of single parents looking for love, men who don’t mind when the time is right to take on the role of being a stepfather, just because he dumped you because you have a child does not mean that you won’t find a man who will be with you for the long run. Some women swear to never date a guy with a child, so this situation applies to both genders. Besides trying out single-parent dating, try spending time on your own while you wait for your forever man.