Darling welcome to heartbreak hotel, when days are days friends are few, in this case, it’s more like when days are dark boyfriends run away. What happened to loving you through thick and thin? The strange thing is that if it was your boyfriend who had lost his job I am willing to bet you anything that you would stick by him, it’s what most females do. So on top of being unemployed, you are now boyfriendless, why can’t the universe give you one problem at a time?
Before you look at some of the things that you can do in this situation have a look at the story submitted by one of our readers, maybe it will resonate with you.
Fired and broken up with
“My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years he was my first serious boyfriend and the man I thought that I would settle down with. I worked in marketing and was earning a good amount of money. When I met my boyfriend he didn’t have a job and about six months into the relationship I helped him get employment, I can say that everything was perfect until about 8 months about when the company that I worked for announced that they were cutting back on staff. I didn’t think I would be affected by this change but they soon announced that they would be getting rid of 90% of the staff in our marketing department. Anyway, I told my boyfriend and he seemed supportive until the last day of work came. During this time I have been applying for work but I still have not been able to land anything, I wanted to move in with my parents but he assured me that we would be fine. I am so heartbroken because yesterday he told me that he doesn’t think that the relationship will work and on top of that he moved out of the apartment that we shared leaving me to pay the rent, I am at a loss”. Palesa, Miami
9 Things that you can do when your boyfriend dumps you because you lost your job
If your boyfriend dumped you because you lost your job you need to focus on yourself and on finding employment, don’t beg him to come back instead spend your focusing on building your future and finding gainful employment, while you are looking for a job spend as much time as you can outside, going to the gym, meeting new people and focusing on your mental health.
Accept that the relationship is over
The first thing that you need to do is to accept that the relationship is over, all those good times that you shared with him are a thing of the past, this is the hardest step but it’s the most important one. Get rid of anything that will remind you of him and don’t reminisce about the good times that you shared and start fantasizing that he will come back. Maybe he will come back and maybe he won’t but either way, you need to accept that it’s over.
Remember that life gets better
Because you are now unemployed and you also no longer have a boyfriend it may look like your world is coming to an end but I can tell you that it is not. You will never have a life that is free of problems because that is not how life works and sometimes you will have multiple problems at the same time but in the end, as long as you take action, things will get better for you.
Channel your energy
I know that you are tempted to lay in bed drinking wine and mixing it with vanilla ice cream and watch NCIS the whole day, Darling I also want to do that but that is not healthy nor productive. If anything you will end up 50 pounds heavier, depressed, and wondering where did all the time go. You don’t have to go out every day but join the gym, learn how to paint, start a blog or start a youtube channel. If you are stuck you can type on Google something like: “Hobbies in New York for Women” or “ Yoga classes in Las Vegas”. The point is to use some of that free time that you have to stimulate your creativity, the more that you are creative the more ideas and solutions will come to you.
The bad news is that you lost your job and your boyfriend dumped you, but the good news is he showed you his true colors before you got a high-paying job and would have probably spent all your money trying to make him happy, this is good news. The way that I look at it is this could have been worse, he could have stayed with you and started to treat you like you don’t matter, he could have cheated on you, or even worse he could have started to insult you in front of his friends making you feel bad about yourself, you get my point?
Apply to as many jobs as you can
It’s always easier to navigate through life when you already have something, even if you get a job that is not your dream job it’s a least a good place to start. Waking up and getting out of the house and interacting with people in a mediocre job is better than staying at home scrolling through social media and getting depressed at looking at all the happy people who have great jobs and loving boyfriends. So don’t be picky and apply to as many jobs as you can, don’t be ashamed to take a job in retail or Mcdonald’s while you also apply for a job in your field of study.
Allow yourself to feel your emotions
Distracting yourself with wine or food will not make a difference and again, once you do that you might end up gaining so much weight that you end up looking like some of the contestants on the TLC show called My 600 Pound Life, I love that show but I do not want you ending up in an even worse off situation.
Meet new people
Errr, you might be thinking that your ex is sitting at home regretting his decision to dump you, well wrong darling he is not, your ex is probably out on a date as we speak there is no rhyme or reason for you to sit at home hoping and praying for the phone to ring.
Let go of resentment
If you were there for your boyfriend when he was going through tough times you did that because you wanted to, if you helped him get a job, get a house, or even stabilize himself, you did that because you wanted to. Just because you helped him doesn’t mean he has to stay with you out of guilt. For you to let him go you have to forget about the good things you did for him and count the relationship as a loss and in the future don’t give too much to someone who is not your husband.
Give yourself time
You won’t get over your relationship after one two or even three weeks some days you will wake up feeling like Beyonce and other days you will wake up feeling like Bridget Jones and that’s okay.
When all is said and done, darling
Oh Darling I wish I could tell you that he will come back and apologize, but I am not sure that it will be the right thing for you. For now focus on yourself, your mental health, and getting a job, and after that things will start falling into place.