“Dear Sindi, I wanted to ask you a question, I have been feeling down lately mainly because I literally have no friends. I’m 20 and have no social life. Many young people my age are going out clubbing, parting, and having a great time, I feel like I don’t fit in, I have tried to make friends but I have failed, I am awkward by nature so maybe that is the problem. I do not want to spend my 20s at home sitting and doing nothing. Seeing everyone happy with their friends makes me sad, So basically I am a loser and I have no friends, any advice would be appreciated”. – Amy, Las Vegas
Am I a loser if I have no friends
To say that you’re a loser because you have no friends is being too harsh on yourself, loser is not a term that I would use for someone who has no friends. Granted, are on your own most of the time, but you are far from being a loser. It takes time to form social skills, and the younger you are the harder it will be, it’s healthy to have friends, should you make them yes, but have a look at 8 reasons you are not a loser if you have no friends.
8 Reasons having no friends does not make you a loser
Everyone has different social needs
Not everyone that you will meet will become your friend, some people only want friends to go out with, and some want friends to use for money but the majority of people want to have friends because let’s face it, life is better when you have friends. You may be different from your peers and that is fine, but other people like yourself are looking for lifelong friends, you just have to be patient, not desperate.
Friendship Tip: Start to embrace your uniqueness, and the qualities that you love about yourself, don’t change who you are because I can tell you from years of being a friendship coach, that the right people will find you.
Some people are introverts
Whoo, so we have different types of personalities, some people are introverted which means that they like to keep to themselves, introverts can also be categorized as loners, people who have a few friends but the majority of their time is spent alone.
Then we have the extroverts, they love to be around people and generally tend to be popular and have a large group of friends. Extroverts have no problems with going out and approaching people and that’s why they make friends faster.
Finally, we have the ambiverts, people who are ambiverts are both introverted and extroverted, sure they love to keep to themselves and enjoy spending time alone, but once in a while they will come out of hibernation to socialize. Ambiverts are not bodacious or loud by nature, on the outside they appear to be introverted but they have a group of friends and can be popular.
You can make a friend at any point in your life
You can decide to make friends at any point in your life, your current friendless situation is not something that will last forever if you want to change it. You can join a club for hobbies, or you can sign up for Her Darling Life Coffe talks which we host once every six weeks and is a great way to talk to people without any pressure, whichever one you choose, having no friends doesn’t have to be the final stamp on your social life.
Friendships don’t define your worth
Don’t let others define your worth just because you don’t have friends doesn’t make you dumb or someone who is destined to live a life of poverty. It doesn’t mean that you have failed in life nor does not mean you won’t get a job, get married, or have kids.
Your beauty does not define your worth, grades don’t define your worth, and the fact that you have no friends doesn’t define your worth. It has nothing to do with your values, how you grew up, or the achievements you wish to accomplish. It’s necessary to separate the fact that you don’t have friends, from the person that you are.
Friendships don’t last forever
Friends come and go, one moment you have five great friends then you have four, then three, and one day you have no friends. Friendships go through a transition phase because that is how friendships work. You might be friends with someone for years and then they get married and guess what? She decides to focus on her husband and no longer keeps in touch and the friendship comes to an end. The same thing applies to you, you may have had friends in high school but as soon as you moved to college you were no longer friends with those people.
Not all friendships end, but the people who can maintain friendships often put in the work. This means calling your friend, making lunch date arrangements, and being there for each other.
Everyone is in the same boat
All you have to do is look online at websites like Reddit and you will see that millions of people have no friends and some of them have never had friends and experienced the wonderful support that comes with friendship.
With the digital age making friends has become even harder because let’s face it, it’s more comfortable to sit at home under a nice warm blanket with your hot chocolate and red velvet cake and scroll through social media than it is to go outside and talk to people in the real world. Everyone is trying hard, you are not the only one who feels like this.
You are in a good position to work on yourself
Sure you have no friends but you can use this time to be productive, work on yourself and do the things that you love. I am sure you have a lifelong goal that you have been dreaming of, so why not use this time to work on it while you are still trying to make friends?
Having no friends doesn’t mean you are a loser
Not having friends is not enough reason to call yourself a loser. there could be a variety of reasons why you have not made friends yet, maybe you have no self-confidence because of the way that you look, or maybe it’s because of the way that you grew up, some things are out of your control. You are not a loser because you have no friends, but you will be a loser if you keep referring to yourself as one, and eventually, you will start acting like one.
Why do some people like to treat people with no friends as losers?
Because they are bullies, the thing about people who call others losers because they have no friends is that they have no self-esteem. Behind the name is calling is a person who does not feel good about themselves and has nothing going on for them besides calling other people losers. Even if the person who has called you a loser appears to be wealthy doesn’t mean that they are happy, unhappy people are good at name-calling.
To close it off
The human spirit needs social interaction, and yes, you do need friends, but you don’t need to call yourself a loser. Don’t feel pressure to go out and make a fool of yourself because you don’t want to be seen as a loser, have an open mind when you meet people and before long you will have a strong group of friends.