Going to your friend’s house should be a no-brainer, lazy Saturdays sitting on the balcony drinking your favorite beverages. But hold on….. You have invited your friend over to your house a couple of times and the only time you see her if you do not invite her over is at work or on a girls’ night out. So this has left you wondering, “why hasn’t my friend invited me over to her home?” Read on…..
There could be a lot of reasons why your friend has not invited you to her home, the most common ones people give are that they do not stay alone or they stay in tiny a residence.
She lives with other people
If your friend lives with other people, it’s understandable that she will limit the number of visitors. If she has housemates they might have a rule that no visitors are allowed in the flat. Assuming that she is over the age of 18 (not living with her parents) having flatmates or roommates can make visiting a little awkward. If her flatmates are not friendly the situation might be awkward, she is the one who knows them best, and she could be saving you from having to make conversation with unfriendly people.
You live far
Unless both of you have a car and a lot of time on your hands driving long distances is usually done for super special occasions like weddings or birthdays. If you stay more than two hours apart she might think that driving will be too much for you, if you are constantly meeting at a halfway point, then this could be the reason.
She doesn’t like to entertain
Speaking for myself, the thought of entertaining can be stressful, having to think about what to make, the music, the dessert, the drinks and the fact that I am terrible at cooking puts me off entertaining. I would instead meet friends at a pub or restaurant its less stressful. Back to your friend… maybe she is not the hosting type, and the thought of having to entertain people could be daunting for her.
Her apartment or house is small
I don’t have you tell you that living in a small apartment or house can be claustrophobic, what if your friend lives in a tiny place? Or she is renting a room with no space? This means that she will not have enough space to host anything. Coupled with the fact that she has to be up and down between the kitchen and the bedroom, bumping into other people she lives with.
She lives with violent/drunk people
Living with violent or drunk people would make anyone apprehensive about inviting people. It’s a dangerous situation for all parties. If your friend lives with drunk flatmates, relatives, or parents, she is protecting you from the inevitable. The last thing you want is to have to shyly smile and nod in uncomfortable situations.
If your friend is going through a financial crisis, then she will most likely not want to spend money hosting. Inviting guests over means buying the meat, salad, garlic bread (my favorite), wine, juice, or whatever it is that she knows that you like. You might not be aware of her financial distress that is because this is not something a lot of people like to talk about but spare a thought for your friend. If she has moved into a smaller place, traded in her car, and is not going out as much, this could be a sign that she is going through some financial challen
Her house is messy
Not everyone can keep a house clean like Bree from the Desperate housewives sitcom. I personally have to spring clean when I know I will have guests popping in. Two things could be going on here. The first is that she is a lousy housekeeper and she doesn’t keep her surroundings clean.
The second thing could be that she lives with a messy individual, so many people are what we can call “ in the closet” hoarders, and I know you have watched the show, if her situation is really like those people we see on the show hoarders, do you want her to invite you?
Her parents don’t want any visitors
Her parents could have a strict “ no visitors” policy. This is nothing to take offense to, it’s not your friend but her parents, and seeing that this is their house they can have any rules that they want. Not everyone has happy-go-lucky sunshine parents, and if you have spent a huge amount of time with your friend then she has most likely given you an insight into how she has grown up and how her parents are.
You have children
Once again, this depends on how old you are but some people don’t like kids. It is not that they hate them but they just don’t want them in their house. If your friend is living a child-free life, then it’s highly likely her choice of residence mimics that. She could have a glass table, glass mirror, and susceptible furniture and if you have small children and she invites you over who knows what might happen?
She has pets and you have allergies
A friend of mine never visited my house because I had a cat, and she had severe sinus issues, this meant that visiting me would have flared her allergies. Let’s say that you are one of those friends who have allergies, if your friend has a pet, this can be anything, dog, cat, or hamster then she knows that you would most probably spend the entire time sneezing or itching.
You have never invited her to your house
I put this last because although it does happen, it does not occur all the time. It’s easy to think that your friend has not invited you to her house, and all you do is hang out at the restaurant or park, but have you taken the initiative to invite her to your place? How many times has she visited you? Is this someone who visited once or is she a part of the family? If the answer is once, then try inviting her a second and a third time, this will pave the way for her to think about extending the invite.
Should I ask her why she hasn’t invited me?
Many people crack their brains on what they should or shouldn’t ask their friends, mainly because they are afraid of what might happen. This is one of those cases where you can go ahead and ask her without feeling uneasy, particularly if you have invited her to your home time and time again.
To round it off
Not all friendships are like the sitcoms we see on television sure we would like to hang out like Phoebe and Rachel from the sitcom “Friends” or have a warm wine and pizza night like Joan and Toni from the Comedy “ My girlfriends” But just because she doesn’t invite you over doesn’t mean the friendship is null in void. If this bothers you, invite her to your house and ask her why she hasn’t invited you, I am sure she has her reasons